


Louder than Words

by NikoArtagnan



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Naruto
Genre: Agender Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Neglect, Clan Politics, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Coercion, Mental Health Issues, Minor Crossovers, Misgendering, Neurodiversity, Nightmares, Not Canon Compliant, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Other, Panic Attacks, Skeevy Sexual Politics, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikoArtagnan/pseuds/NikoArtagnan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It’s the worst sort of cliché, but it just became my life. Here’s hoping I survive it.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>No one ever truly wants to be slung headfirst into the Naruto world, not if you really think twice about the whole business.  That whole thing with kids being trained to kill other people for money, PTSD-riddled ninja with superpowers, and near constant wars every generation? Bit of a downer, there, if you wanna be honest.</p><p>But now that you're here, might as well make the best of it...and <i>do</i> try not to mess things up too much. </p><p>The future's never set in stone, and there's a storm coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ACT ONE - Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Tumblr Self Insert Week 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...an act or moment of becoming suddenly aware of something...]_

When I woke up, something deep inside my brain was _screaming_ at me.

It was a loud, peeling refrain, muffled under the remnants of what long experience told me were the remnants of a drugged sleep. _This is not right, this is not right,_ my head screamed.

My first inclination was panic, helped along by the fact that it was exceedingly difficult to move, and that I ached like a _bitch_.

…What the fuck had I been doing last night?

Trying to move my arms or legs accomplished nothing but _pain oh god fuck_ , so I slumped back, and worked at opening my sleep-crusted eyes all the way. The first thing I saw when my eyes finally cracked open was white.

A lot of white.

I groaned, the sound rattling through my chest like the wind through chimes and managed to raise my head up a scant inch before my strength gave out. But I had seen enough to know exactly where I was.

White walls, white ceiling, medical instruments scattered around (and in my arms), paired with the bed I was currently sacked out on and the faint sickly scent in the air that reminded me of far too much of my childhood. I knew this place.

“A hospital,” my voice wheezed out, the dying tones of a broken accordion, and I degenerated into a coughing fit.

Shit, I felt like hell – and that something inside of me was screaming ever louder, not relaxed in the slightest. But I’d spent a great deal of my childhood (and my life, too) in hospitals, enough that…

…But why was I here?

I didn’t remember going in for a surgery. I didn’t remember being in an accident. So why-?

…What had I been doing before this? I closed my eyes – since I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, not with the _sheer agony_ in my limbs – and thought.

I had been walking home, I remembered that. Through the park near my house, after having spent the day with a friend.

_What friend?_

Coldness suffused my limbs. I saw a face flickering before me for a second, the name dancing just out of reach. The banging in my temples and my limbs grew steadily worse, and I moaned in pain.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Through blurry, streaming eyes, I saw a woman entering the room from the door to my left, and hurry to my side. She placed her hands on either side of my head, and a look of concentration crossed her face.

Coolness spread across my forehead, sinking deep tendrils of blessed relief into my throbbing brain, and I slumped back, groaning.

“Feel better?” she asked, sweat beading on her face.

I nodded, unwilling to risk another coughing fit by speaking out loud.

“Good. Are you up to having some visitors? Hokage-sama wanted to speak with you,” she said, and something inside me stilled.

“H-Ho…kage-sama?” I whispered, my voice barely more than a rasp. “Who?”

The woman paused – and I could see more of her features now, small brown eyes, brown hair, nurse’s scrubs – and smiled reassuringly down at me.

“The Hokage, silly girl. The leader of the village. I know you don’t come from around here, but surely you’ve heard of Sarutobi Hiruzen-sama?”

My thoughts felt very distant, very removed from me as that name trickled in deep, ignoring even the misgendering. I knew that name. I knew that name, but that was impossible, how-

“S-Sarutobi H-H-Hiruzen?” My voice felt just as distant as my thoughts, and I was vaguely aware of the woman making a startled noise, before backing away.

I felt a warmth in my hands, and looked down in time to see-oh my fucking god my hands were on _fire_ _my hands were on fire THE BED WAS ON FIRE WHY WAS THE BED ON FIRE-_

A figure clad in black and grey appeared in my vision, and I felt a hand come crashing down on my neck. Darkness was immediate and overwhelming, and I didn’t feel it when I fell into the figure’s arms.

* * *

When I woke again, I still hurt.

But the pain was numbed by the feeling of something not-right in my veins, a sensation I was as familiar with as the feeling of waking up in a hospital.

The most important part was that it didn’t quite feel as though some giantess had used my muscles like clay any longer.

 _God bless pain drugs_ , I thought with a dopey smile, cracking open my eyes again. This time, pushing myself up came much easier, and I managed to prop myself up on my elbows for a good look around.

It was still a hospital room, and looked much the same. But this room had no windows, and seemed much more closed off than the previous one had. But the bed was still very comfy, and I laid back, content to simply doze until someone came to tell me something.

Then I remembered.

I jackknifed upright, my muscles protesting the sudden movement quite severely, and looked at my hands.

They were pale, a little stubbly, the fingernails bitten to the quick – but they weren’t on fire, not burned nor smoking, not anything beyond normal. I felt the bed, and found untouched, cool linen sheets.

I sat back, wincing, and wondered if I had just dreamed my Portgas D. Ace impression earlier. Certainly wouldn’t have been the first time, I mused. I had always dreamed of having powers like that, and a great deal of my obsession with the fictional pirate had been because of his power over fire.

When others kids had dreamt of having flight, or invisibility, I had dreamt of…well, stupid stuff, mostly, but having elemental powers had been a particularly close kept secret of mine.

I sighed, and threw the arm that wasn’t stuffed full of IVs over my face, closing my eyes. Then something else occurred to me and my eyes shot back open.

The nurse – she’d mentioned _Sarutobi_ _Hiruzen_. The _Hokage_.

Of a goddamn _fictional comic series._

For all that my memory seemed a little bit fractured – _what had I been doing before this, who had I been visiting_ – I remembered that name and where it had come from.

There was a polite knock on the door, and I let my hand drop back to my side, turning my head to face it. The door opened, and-

What the _fuck_.

Two men entered the room. The first was a blond man, with bright green eyes, and a chiseled, angularly handsome face. Around his forehead was something I recognized distantly as a hitai-ate, engraved with a leaf-like design.

A memory filtered up through the shock in my head, depositing a name before my consciousness.

_Yamanaka Inoichi._

He looked a great deal more…real, than he had in the manga (from what my mind could remember), but it still looked just like him. But that was impossible. Yamanaka Inoichi was _fictional_.

Then my attention was drawn to the older man slightly behind him, and panic fizzled down my brain like a spike of ice jammed into my spine.

The man was old, wizened, with deep lines etched into the skin around his mouth and too-intense eyes. His goatee was off-white, and he wore robes of white and red, along with a cone-like hat emblazoned with a kanji, the writing stark red on the white background.

“Ah, so you’re awake,” Sarutobi Hiruzen – or a _very_ convincing cosplayer, which I was _praying_ for - said, and the two men stopped at the foot of my bed. “That will make things easier.”

“E-Easier?” I rasped out, and winced. For all I was a great deal less sore in other places, my throat still felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to it.

Sarutobi nodded. “Inoichi, if you would.”

The younger man helped me sit up, and placed a cup of water at my lips. I drank greedily, and pulled away when I was done. Inoichi helped me sit back against the pillows, and I watched him warily.

“Do you remember how you arrived here?” The man asked.

“N-No, actually, I don’t,” I said, trying not to tremble.

If this wasn’t some weird fever dream, if this was _actually_ _happening_ …I knew that this man could break my mind ten times more thoroughly than the very worst dregs of the Rule 34 website ever could.

“Do you remember anything?” Inoichi asked, his voice calm and non-threatening. But I knew – and I didn’t know _how_ I knew – that this was _very much_ an interrogation.

Something inside me reached out, and gently brushed through me, sending waves of calm through my body. It was like the calm I had called upon during debates, or when I took to the stage, but… _different_.

 _Steady_ , it whispered. _I am with you._

“U-Um, I was walking home through the park, and that’s about it. Where am I? How did I get here? I don’t really remember anything, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t the hospital near where I live,” I said.

It was almost too quick for me to see, but I caught the look the two men exchanged.

“Two days ago, you appeared in the middle of my office, in a wave of fire,” Sarutobi said wryly. “You are in Konohagakure no Sato, my dear. Do you remember that?”

I blinked, and swallowed hard. No way, no way, there was no way-

“Uh,” I said, for lack of anything better. “No?”

My brain throbbed, and I was still halfway convinced that this was just a particularly weird dream.

But if it was really just a dream, I really, _really_ wanted to wake up now.

Sarutobi sighed, and I got the feeling that he did not believe me in the slightest. “I cannot have someone with your…ability out, without being sure of your sincerity. Would you be willing to submit to an interrogation?”

I shrank away, my breath coming short to my lungs. _Interrogation_.

My mind flickered to a man with deep scars crisscrossing his head, and cold look in his eyes. I saw torture devices springing forth from summoning techniques, a man in a long black cloak – _Morino Ibiki_.

And I shook with faint terror. I did not want to end up in his hands _at all_.

“There’s no need to be afraid,” Inoichi said, very soothingly. “I will simply use a technique that will allow me to enter your mind, and see what you may have forgotten.”

I blinked again and felt myself relax. The man was very good at this, I thought distantly, that same part of my mind feeling amused and wary in equal turns.

“How?” I asked blankly. “My mind? What?”

Of course, I knew how – _whispering images in my mind, a girl with Inoichi’s features, “Mind Body Seal!”_ – but I couldn’t let them know. I could _not_ let these people know what I knew.

“It is a…trait, of my clan, that will allow me to look into your mind,” Inoichi said. “Will you consent to it?”

I certainly didn’t _want_ to, even if it might tell me the missing pieces in my head – _I had been going to see a friend, but what was his name? What street had I lived on? What were the names of my pets? Why can’t I_ remember _?_ – but it wasn’t as though I had a choice in the matter.

Then, the voice spoke again, soft and distinctly masculine.

 _He will see nothing we do not permit him to see,_ it said calmly, but faintly, as if from a great distance. _And you will give away nothing we do not permit them to see. We have a plan, and you will know of it soon. Trust us._

I did, against all common sense. And I knew, without a shred of doubt, that the voice in my head wanted only to keep me safe. Schizophrenic delusion, or whatever it was, it could do what I alone could not.

It could fool these two men.

There was a sigh of relief inside me as I sent back quiet confirmation.

 _Good_ , the voice said. _Now look back at them, tilt your head to the side half an inch, and pull your lip down. Suspicious, suspicious. Not trusting, but not dangerous. They’ve already seen you channel fire, now you must look_ innocent _._

It was like listening to my theater professor again – _what was her name?_ – and the tone had me following the instructions obediently, just like I had done then.

Looking up at Inoichi, I pursed my lips and gave him a beady eyed stare.

“Will it hurt?” I asked, my tone just shy of a demand. I doubted _very_ _much_ I could truly manipulate this man, but if it eased his impression of me, to think young and girlish and child-like when he looked at me, then, well…

That couldn’t be a bad thing.

“It may give you a mild headache,” Inoichi allowed, his lips crinkling up at the sides. The fucker knew what I was doing, and was _amused_ by it.

God damn it.

 _He may know,_ the voice said again, reassuring. _He may know, but he softens anyway. He cannot help it._

I paused for a second longer, judging for the right time – _“you have the worst sense of comedic timing_ ever _, ___ , I nearly spat out a lung laughing” “But doesn’t that mean I have a good sense of it, then?”_ – before I nodded.

“Okay then,” I said. “What do I need to do?”

“Lean back, and close your eyes,” Inoichi said.

I did so, feeling unease tiptoeing through me, like a mouse desperately trying not to be noticed by a cat. The pillows were cool, and Inoichi placed his hand against my forehead, after whispering something too quietly for me to catch. Something cool and weird, strange-but- _not_ -strange brushed through me.

And then I was sinking, sinking, _sinking_ -

* * *

My mindscape was…

Well, to put it mildly, I was not expecting what I found.

I stood with Inoichi in what looked like an enormous temple, bright and airy and absolutely beautiful.

We were standing in an immense room with richly colored walls, and a floor that felt like pure marble to my bare feet. A row of pillars made from the same mosaics that covered the walls formed a pseudo-corridor to the large set of double doors in the far distance. It felt like I was standing in some ancient, lovingly-maintained temple set deep in the forests of India, or in the mountains of Tibet.

Sunlight poured in from the great windows that were flung open across the wall, and there was music in the air – flutes and pipes, and the steady beat of drums.

“Wouldja look at that,” I said, putting my hands on my hips and looking around in bemused wonder. “I wasn’t expecting this. Are you sure this is my mind?”

“It should be,” Inoichi says, sounding amused.

“ _Bruh_ ,” I gushed in fangirl-ish reverence. I had never been quite a fan of the Yamanka techniques before, but damn if they weren’t cool to see in action.

“That’s such a freaky ass power you’ve got, but it’s so friggin’ _cool_. Is it a family thing, or what? Do you got any cousins with the same freaky superpowers or what?”

Inoichi laughed, the sound vaguely startled.

“It is something in my family,” he said, and the two of us began to walk down the corridor of pillars.

“That’s freaky as shit,” I said with glee. But then I paused – _wait for the timing_ , another voice said softly.

“A problem?” Inoichi asked.

“Well, yeah. See the thing is, shit like this?” I said, throwing out a hand to encompass the entire room and him as well. “Shit like this wasn’t even remotely possible back home. ‘Getting inside someone’s mind’ is just a saying, and it’s not supposed t’be real, y’know?”

Inoichi made a _hmm_ noise.

“Do you remember where you came from?”

I sighed. “Well, yeah, but I don’t know _names_.”

Frustration creeped into my words, because I didn’t know _anything_.

Anything that _mattered_.

Not the name of the school where I’d spent my childhood, not the name of my first cat, not the name of the street I’d lived on all my life, not the name of the doctor who had sat beside me on that cold day and asked if I was being abused, not the friends who had left me (one after another) and who I still loved like burning in my chest, not my father or my _mother_ -

There was a dawning sense of horror inside me as we approached the double doors, the screaming sense of something wrong even in my own mind growing even as the music did.

I didn’t know my name.

I didn’t know my name.

_I didn’t know my own name._

A shudder trembled down my spine. I remembered – very distinctly! – seeing the birth certificate my mother had used to help get me a driver’s license. But the name was fogged out in my mind.

“Are you all right?” Inoichi asked, and I shook myself.

“I need to get some answers,” I said quietly, grimly.

The two of us pushed open the door, and a light blazed out, cool and welcoming and blinding, all in the same burst of brilliance. There was laughter, and song, and-

“Mom?” I whispered, as I saw a woman with dark gray hair standing in an empty room with about five doors lining the mosaic-covered walls, as translucent as a ghost. On her ample hip, with tiny, pudgy arms curling around her neck, rested a little girl with long, curling dark hair.

It was me. I’d been a little girl then, had been this woman’s precious daughter. I remembered that.

The ghost – memory – was singing, her voice low and soft, soothing.

 _“Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember…and a song someone sings, once upon a December,”_ The ghost whispered, rubbing the sleeping child’s back.

Then she looked up, looked at me. And her gaze was so sad, so mournful, even as she gave the words to me, even as she rocked the sleeping child in her arms.

_“Someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully, across my memory...”_

Then she faded, and I staggered, feeling tears trickle down my face, anguish and homesickness nearly driving me to my knees.

Memories flickered through my head, one after another – _her cooking dinner, driving me to school in the dark hours of the morning, her pale face as I cradled a snake to my chest with childish glee, her sitting in the audience as I made the crowd laugh with jokes._

I saw her standing haloed in the light as she told me to wake up and laughed when I groaned.

_Five more minutes, Mama, pleaseeeee…_

_You said that half an hour ago, I’m not buying it. Up, or I’m dumping water on you!_

I remembered events, I remembered her laugh, and I remembered her smile, her voice.

But I didn’t know her _name_. How could I have forgotten the name of one of my few friends?

I staggered back up, and hurried through the only open door, focused only on getting any sort of answers…

What the fuck.

If I had thought the rooms before were huge, they had nothing on this one. We stood on a pathway between two statues made from some metal or wood, or some material I didn’t recognize. There was a soft, impossibly welcoming light illuminating everything, making the path gleam.

The pathway spiraled down to my right, and up to my left, going as far in either direction as was possible for me to see, wrapped around what appeared to be a bottomless pit. And spaced perfectly out along the wall along the pathway in both directions were statues like the ones to our right and left.

Something stuttered in my chest.

“This is interesting,” Inoichi said, and I shot him a quick look.

Nothing showed on that handsome face, which I thought was only appropriate for a member of the Yamanaka Clan. But still, there probably wasn’t anything to worry about from him.

He’d probably seen a _lot_ weirder in his time.

(At least it wasn’t gratuitous visions of killing people or conquering the world.)

Though I did want to know why in the hell my mind looked like _this_ , of all things.

I had highly expected something boring, like plain-ass white walls and a boring old therapy chair. Considering how much time I’d spent in a psychiatrist’s office, it wasn’t a far-off assumption.

I was a first rate head-case back home, with so many disorders that it bewildered me (and my parents), though I highly suspected that I didn’t even come close to that term in this world…Dream?

Whatever this was.

(Fuck, I _really_ hoped this was a dream. Even if I was fighting for my life in a hospital back home, I would accept it. Anything would be better than this actually being real.)

I walked up the path, and felt Inoichi fall into step behind me. There was a faint tune in the air, far less prominent than it had been before. Just a flute, or something equally soft and lilting. Maybe panpipes.

Humming quietly, I let my hand reach out, brushing against each of the statues as we climbed ever higher, the light growing in brilliance as we did, but it never blinded me. Instead, it pulled me steadily on, until I was jogging up the path, my bare feet slapping against the wood of the floor below me.

I barely even noticed Inoichi keeping pace, his eyes focused on me. It didn’t matter.

Then, the light dimmed, and I slowed. We were near to the top, and near to the end of the long line of statues that twined up the path. I paused for a moment at the statue that was the fourth to the last.

A bearded man in strange robes stood there, wrought in a bronze-like material, a solemn expression on his face, his feet bare and planted like tree trunks.

The plaque on the pedestal below his feet was empty, and bore no name, no identifier…but.

 _But_.

I knew.

“Abhaidev,” I whispered, brushing a hand over the symbol – strange and familiar, all at once – emblazoned on the front of his robes. Then I moved to the next.

A woman, tall, proud, curved. Her eyes seemed to blaze with inner fire even as a statue, and she wore robes cut just as strangely as the man’s, but different.

“Jiao-long,” I said, and I could have sworn that – just for a moment – her still, carved lips curved into an approving smile.

The next statue was of…I didn’t know if the carved person was male, or female, only that they looked as though they could step from the pedestal and leap into flight at any moment.

“Dorje,” I said, and bowed to them, feeling a kinship here unlike that with any of the others. A wind tickled my neck, like teasing fingers, and I giggled, before going to the second last.

A man stood there, and for a second I had the greatest sense of déjà vu I had ever experienced in my life. His carved face held a great, endless sorrow, and he wore thick furs about his body.

Though I did not see a name written on the plaque below his feet, just like with the others – and, just like with _all_ of these statues, a small part of me thought quietly – I knew his name.

“Hello, Amaruq,” I said.

There was another statue beside it, the very last one. This one was of a girl, dressed in rags.

For all her shoulders were as broad as Abhaidev’s, for all she stood as straight as Jiao-long, and for all her eyes tried to smile as Dorje’s did, there was something utterly broken in her face, even more so than Amaruq’s. And like her expression, the statue was cracked, fragile.

“Vasundhara,” I said, and my voice trembled.

Inoichi – and I’d long since forgotten that he was there, and it seemed for the first time a blasphemy that he was, as I knuckled away tears of frustrated grief – laid a hand on my shoulder.

“How do you know these people? Are you related to them?”

Related, no. I knew that at least. We five shared no blood between us, no connection from mother-to-son, or cousin-to-cousin, or any of the bonds normally shared between family members.

What was between us was far deeper, far _more_.

This was such a weird ass dream.

But…what if it wasn’t? What if this wasn’t some lucid fever dream while I was in the hospital-I shoved that thought aside with extreme prejudice. What else could it be? Not real, certainly. It couldn’t be.

(I hoped.)

I walked past Inoichi, past the broken statue of the woman in rags, and up the empty pathway, Inoichi following behind. We walked still higher, the air growing thin as though we were climbing a mountain, though I never felt the strain one might expect.

“Where are we going?” Inoichi asked, his voice still as calm and curious as it had ever been.

“I have no clue,” I said absently, my thoughts more focused on what might lay ahead.

Soon the path flattened out, and we passed through another door that lead into yet another mosaic-covered room. This one had only two windows on either side, allowing a gentle light to pour into the room, reflecting off the mosaics and dancing like hundreds of stars.

There was a door on the opposite wall, intricately carved with symbols that were setting off all sorts of alarms. I approached it, and placed my hand on the thick wood. 

But then-

“You are not ready yet,” a voice said behind us, and I whirled around, noting – distantly – that Inoichi had done the same.

There was a man standing there, and I felt my hands tremble at the sight of him. Maybe my heart did as well, I didn’t know.

He was tall – taller than me by about a foot – and he had a brawny build. His beard was cropped short around a face a shade lighter than the dark brown hair that fell around his shoulders. His clothes were a mix of light and dark blues, heavy furs that seemed utterly incongruous when paired with the warm air that drifted in through the windows like teasing fingers across bare skin.

I knew him.

“Amaruq,” I whispered, because his resemblance to the statue was borderline uncanny valley.

The man smiled and flicked out his fingers, and I was falling, falling, _falling_ -

* * *

“Peace, Yamanka Inoichi. I am no threat to you,” The man – Amaruq? – said calmly as the shinobi rushed to catch the girl, keeping her from hitting the ground.

“Then what are you?” he asked, shifting his grip on the girl in his arms.

Inoichi had seen many, many things, and been in minds _far_ more twisted and broken than this girl’s, minds that made this gorgeously decorated series of rooms and paths a refreshing breath of fresh air, but…

No dissociation event, no shattered piece of a broken shinobi’s mind should have been able to do what this man just did to the unconscious girl in his arms. Not without breaking his jutsu.

It should not be possible.

And yet.

The man’s face cracked into a smile.

“We have much to speak about, Yamanka Inoichi. Come. I will answer all questions that I can,” the man said, and the world dissolved around them.


	2. ACT ONE - Obligations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...the condition of being morally or legally bound to do something, a debt of gratitude for a service or favor...]_

I slept for two and a half days after Inoichi had entered my mind.

My dreams were a wild, riotous blurring of colors of ever shade, like the very heart of a bonfire that never ceased to stop burning. I remembered very little that was coherent, but when my eyes finally opened again, I was left with the insistent feeling of arms wrapped around me, grounding me.

The voice that had spoken to me was far quieter, its presence more subconscious now. But I still felt it, flowing through the back of my mind, just waiting for me to come to it.

Him, I mean.

 _Amaruq_.

I heard masculine laughter float through my mind, and I was smiling when a woman entered the room.

“Ah, it’s good to see you awake, Kaname-san,” she said with a small smile.

The dark-skinned woman was tall, slim yet muscled in a way that I assumed was commonplace with all medic-nin. Her clothes were all in soft, muted colors, and her black hair was pulled back and out of her face into a tight knot, while her eyes were a pale grey several shades darker than a Hyūga’s.

“Hullo,” I whispered, my voice feeling as drowsy as the rest of me did. At least the pain was gone now, leaving only a distant soreness in my limbs and the faint headache that came from sleeping too long.

The doctor helped me sit up, my head lolling to the side, and she quickly checked the various machines and IVs I had attached to me.

“Would you like some water?” she asked, sounding very amused as I blinked stupidly at her.

I nodded, and she pressed the cup of water that had been at my bedside to my lips. I drank my fill, and then sat back.

For a second there was silence as the two of us stared at each, and then she sighed, pulling a small folder out from some pocket deep in her coat.

“Kaname-san, I am Oono Rie, and I will be your caretaker for the time you spend here,” the woman said, watching me carefully.

Through the faint fog in my mind, I wondered why she was calling me Kaname. That wasn’t my name.

 _But what_ was _my name?_

I didn’t…

I didn’t know.

“Kaname?” I asked, knowing the only thing that was keeping me from having a spectacular panic attack was the feeling of drowsy exhaustion that weighed my limbs down.

Rie looked around, and then quickly went to each wall. Her hands flicked out into symbols, almost faster than I could see, and symbols appeared on the wall, preceded by a rush of strange – yet familiar – energy.

“The Hokage forwarded the paperwork with your new name yesterday,” the woman said quietly, before passing me the thin folder.

Her words gave me the strength to open it, and flip through the few pages.

Under a picture of me – carefully edited to look as though it was on an official looking background – was a name: _Kaname Minori_ , written in kanji I knew full well I should not have been able to decipher.

But then, below that-

“Request for citizenship?” I said, my eyes jerking over to the woman. “What the hell is this? And my name’s not Minori-”

“You have abilities that could stand on par with any _kekkei_ _genkai_ in this village, including the great _dōjutsu_ ,” Rie said flatly. “The Hokage had to do all he could to make sure you would not fall into less than scrupulous hands during your recovery time. Your _kekkei_ _genkai_ would have made you target enough, without bringing your… anomalies into it.”

I stared at her. “Abilities? _Kekkei_ _genkai_? Anomalies? What on _earth_ are you talking about?”

Rie pulled yet another folder out of her coat. This one was much thicker.

“Do you know what chakra is?” The woman asked instead, flicking her fingers over it, then flipping through it.

I watched her warily.

Of _course_ I knew what chakra was. It was the basis for the entire _Naruto_ series, and it was how everyone and their grandmother were able to shatter the laws of physics into a fine powder without a quam.

But I certainly wasn’t going to tell _her_ that.

“Very little,” I said slowly. “It’s thought to be energy in my hometown, but mostly those who talk about it are thought to be quacks or charlatans.”

“You do come from a very long way away, don’t you,” Rie said, her words more of a statement than a question, and sighed. “Your chakra system is the strangest I have ever seen in my entire life. What spiritual and physical chakra you have is focused around your muscles and bones, completely ignoring traditional paths.”

I blinked. Well, considering I hadn’t even believed I possessed chakra up until a few seconds ago, I wasn’t all that surprised it was strange.

 _Oh god, oh god I was in Konoha_ -my teeth ground as I forced the thought down and away.

“From the bloodwork we’ve done-”

“Bloodwork?” I said, gaping at her. “You took my damn blood? Without my goddamn permission?”

I looked at the crook of my arms, but there was an IV in the right one, and I couldn’t see a mark in the other one. I wondered where they could have taken my blood, and promptly dismissed that.

They were _ninja_. I would have been more surprised to find actual evidence of it.

“Calm down, Kaname-san,” Rie said in a tone that was almost condescending, but not quite. “Considering the way you appeared in our village, and what Yamanaka-sama discovered in your mind, it was deemed very important to find out all we could about you, if you had any diseases that would prove detrimental to the village, and to determine the nature of your _kekkei_ _genkai_.

“Rest assured, I am the only one beyond the Hokage and Yamanaka-sama who have seen the results of the bloodwork, and all samples of your blood have been destroyed by my own hand.”

I sat back, still bristling at the violation. It was disturbing as hell to learn the lengths to which they had gone, but it wasn’t as though I could do anything about it. I was completely at their mercy.

But still-“They’ve been destroyed?” I asked sharply, and the woman nodded.

I couldn’t trust her, certainly, but I would have to take her words at face value. For now.

“You mentioned _kekkei_ _genkai_? What is that?” And why on _earth_ was that term – normally used only for shit like the Byakugan and the goddamn _Sharingan_ – being used in conjunction with myself?

“From what I have managed to determine, you have near limitless control over fire, aided by the flow of natural chakra in your body,” Rie said, and my eyebrows shot towards my hairline.

I was a fucking _firebender_?

_-…everything changed the day the fire nation attacked…-_

What the fuck-

“You are a near endless reserve of natural chakra, Kaname-san, and replenish it simply by _being_. You draw it in through the air around you without conscious effort.”

There was a glint of _something_ in the doctor’s eyes, something that made me want to back the fuck away.

“You manage to do what thousands of people since the time of the Sage have been incapable of doing, what even Jiraiya-sama, Yondaime-sama, and even Shodaime-sama could never do. While you may be incapable of ever using ninjutsu or genjutsu in the traditional sense, you are _constantly_ in a basic form of the Sage Mode without need to manually gather natural chakra, and without posing a threat to others,” Rie said, her eyes gleaming.

My head reeled.

“What, Sage Mode, who, why, how the fuck-” I babbled, my brain simply incapable of understanding what this woman was saying.

And I couldn’t, I didn’t know what-

What the _fuck_ was I supposed to think when faced with the impossible? What was I supposed to say, or do, or feel? What was I supposed to think?

“The hell is Sage Mode? And what the hell is natural chakra?” My mouth moved on its own, asking questions I already knew the answers to.

 _But_ you _wouldn’t be able to know that, now would you?_ A woman’s voice, amused and deep, as faint as the man’s voice had been last time I was awake. _No, you_ shouldn’t _know such a thing. Ask questions, but ask the right ones, and you’ll find your trial is far less arduous._

Rie explained it, eyes still glittering strangely, and then another question asserted itself in the forefront of my mind.

How the hell did Rie know so much about natural chakra and Sage Mode? And why was she telling me about this?

The woman took a deep breath and calmed down.

“But that’s not why – not entirely why – I’ve come to speak with you. You are in a difficult position, Kaname-san, though Yamanaka-sama has confirmed that you are not a sleeper agent or an overt threat to Konoha,” Rie said, and the hair on the back of my neck prickled uneasily.

“A difficult position?” I asked warily. What the hell did that mean?

“There are those who have expressed…interest in you,” Rie said carefully, the glint of scientific interest that had been in her eyes long gone. “The Hokage has asked me to explain your choices to you.”

“Choices,” I said flatly, very much not liking the sound of that.

“You are a foreign national with an extremely powerful kekkei genkai, whose loyalty is still very much suspect,” Rie stated, as calm as though she was reading off a list of groceries.

“You have three choices. One, to refuse to become a citizen of Konoha. This will more than likely lead to your becoming a test subject for Research and Development, and likely for T&I, while your blood and organs are used for experiments.”

I backed away from her as much as was possible on the hospital bed, fear trembling down my spine.

“Two, you become a citizen of Konoha, and then you become a shinobi,” Rie continued. “You will be trained until you are at a decent level, and then you will take missions for the good of the village.”

What the fuck, what the ever loving fuck-

“The third choice is perhaps the best for you, and will offer you the most safety and security,” Rie said.

“You become a citizen of Konoha, and become the ward of a noble clan here. Likely it will be either the Sarutobi, or the Yamanaka. You will be trained to the best of your abilities, but you will not be required to fight as a shinobi, except in times of war and only in the defense of Konoha. You will receive the protection of the clan against those who would use your powers for ill, and you would also receive financial and political support from the clan.”

“What’s the catch?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest. It sounded good – too damn good, especially for someone who’d just appeared out of thin air. And this was a military village.

There _had_ to be a catch.

Rie’s eyes caught and held my own.

“You would be…highly encouraged to eventually marry, and you would be required to have at least two children, in order to pass along your _kekkei_ _genkai_ ,” she said softly, and I froze.

“C-Children?” I whispered numbly, feeling fear and panic tangle loosely in my throat.

“Yes.”

I hadn’t wanted children. I had wanted to adopt, certainly, but to actually bear children? To hold them in m-my _uterus_ for nine goddamn months?

No. _Never_.

But did I have a choice?

I had never before hated my mother more than at that moment. If she had just let me get the operation to remove the damn thing that had plagued me my entire life, I wouldn’t even be in this situation.

(If she’d just _understood_ , if she’d just _accepted_ that part of me instead of kowtowing to Dad like she _always_ did, maybe I wouldn’t have to-no, I couldn’t think like that, they were probably losing their minds over my disappearance and they had _always_ loved me)

Hating what had already happened wasn’t going to accomplish jack shit. I could have a break down after I’d secured a place for myself here, a place where _Shimura Danzō_ couldn’t get his hands on me.

If what she had told me was true…If I was really capable of doing all those things…

I wasn’t an idiot. I needed the protection that the Hokage’s or Inoichi’s family could provide me. These people had already taken my blood without my permission, and they were ostensibly the ‘good guys’.

Shimura Danzō, on the other hand, was a monster of the highest order. He was indirectly responsible for _ninety percent of the shit_ that plagued Konoha throughout the series proper. And the most terrifying part of it all as that he’d believed - until the very last moments of his life - that he had done it all for the betterment of Konoha.

The things he’d done…Even though I’d stopped watching the series regularly years ago, I still remembered that arm full of stolen Sharingan. That thing had given me _nightmares_.

If Rie was telling the truth about my abilities – _auggggh, am I really a firebender?!_ – then I needed to make damn sure I was as far removed from Danzō’s grasp as was humanly possible.

Rie was looking at me still when I managed to raise my head, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

“I came to Konoha from a clan in the land of lightning with my brother, after our family was massacred many years ago by Kumo nin,” Rie said, and her voice was quiet. “The Masa clan, we were, with a _kekkei_ _genkai_ that manifested as either strong control of our Yin chakra, or as the ability to produce a shield that few things could penetrate, with little chakra cost to the individual. My brother had the _Kamigami no Tate_ , while I possess the _Te’o Iyashi_ jutsu.”

The Shield of the Gods and the…Healing Hands technique? Interesting names, I thought, utterly fascinated. A bit arrogant, especially the first one, but hey, they sounded really cool.

I noted rather vaguely that Rie had rather successfully distracted me from my impending breakdown.

That was nice of her.

“Our clan also had many people who had an innate aptitude for natural chakra, and passed down the learnings to us. When our clan was destroyed, we brought those things to Konoha, where my brother and I were both offered something along the same choice as was given to you.”

My eyes widened and Rie smiled, looking vaguely bitter.

“My brother chose to become a shinobi after siring a child on a woman in the village to fulfill a part of his duty. He then became obsessed with destroying the shinobi from our homeland, as payment for what they had done to us. He perished in the Third World War,” Rie said, and I _stared_.

“Damn,” I whispered.

Because, really. God _damn_.

The series hadn’t talked about any of this shit.

“I took the third option. I became a ward of the Hyūga clan, and when Hiashi-sama took over leadership of the clan, he arranged my marriage to an ally of theirs. After I became a full-fledged medic-nin and proved my loyalty many times over, I was married to Oono Akihiro. We have two sons, and one daughter,” Rie finished, and I just blinked at her.

“You…children? Hyūga?” I asked blankly, and she nodded, pulling her coat back. Emblazoned on the front pocket of her shirt was a symbol I assumed signified the Hyūga clan.

I also noticed the hitai-ate wrapped around her waist like a belt. The stylized leaf design seemed to taunt me even as it confirmed my worst fears.

That was not an accessory for a cosplay. That was real.

“Would…I accept,” I said softly before I could chicken out, and Rie nodded.

“I would suggest getting some sleep. Yamanaka-sama and the Hokage will be here shortly, to further discuss what will be done and what you will have to do,” Rie said.

“Um…Oono-san, do you think you would be able to bring me some books about K-Konoha’s history, o-or the history of the clans? Or something?” I asked, feeling a little desperate. “I-If I’m going to be a part of a noble clan, or a citizen of the village, I’d like to have some idea of what’s going to be expected of me, or what knowledge is common. Please?”

When in doubt, retreat to books. It was a motto I lived my entire life by, apparently since the Internet didn’t exist here. (Oh god no, that was not good, not the Internet, I needed it)

Rie blinked, and then nodded. The tiny smile that quirked up on side of her lips seemed far more real than any of the other smiles she had given me so far.

“Of course I will. Get some rest, Kaname Minori. You’ll need it.”

And then she slipped out of the room, letting me faint in peace.

* * *

_I walked through the grand temples of the Air Nomads, sighing._

_The war still continued, no matter how many innocents were slaughtered without thought or care or reason, and I knew that many wanted it to continue, death merchants who made their trade in the bloody profits of war-_

_“Oi!”_

_I turned to see a very familiar form launch itself at me, and staggered under the deceptive weight of the Airbender. For someone whose element was of air, he was remarkably heavy._

_“Spirits, Rabten, have you completely lost what wits you have?” I growled, my arms wrapping around him instinctively. “Get off me.”_

_He smirked, and I felt heat coil low in my belly, heat that had nothing to do with the fire I could call up with more ease than breathing._

_“Maybe I don’t want to,” he said teasingly, and I felt my face flush._

_“Ass of a man-” I snarled, and he buried his face in my neck._

_“You’re so warm, darling,” he murmured, and the flush grew ever fiercer, the tips of my ears burning like I’d set them aflame. My fingers tightened, curling into the robes that covered his back._

_I_ wanted _, but I knew I could n-_

_“Am I interrupting?” An amused voice said from behind us, and I jerked away._

_…Well, I tried to._

_Rabten had maintained his vice-like grip on me, and hadn’t bothered to lift his head, even as Sonam, the head of the monks of the temple, approached us, his light-colored robes flapping around his ankles._

_My face was taking on all new, never-before seen shades of red. I could just tell._

_Sonam laughed, the sound lightening the deeps lines etched into his face._

_“Boy, let the girl go, will you?” he said, amused._

_Rabten made a vague whining noise, and I wanted nothing more than to sink through the ground and out of sight._

_“But I don’t wanna…”_

_“Let go of me you idiotic oaf-” I started._

_There was a shout, and an agile form alighted on the windowsill to my left. Bright Jinpa, their bald head gleaming in the afternoon light of the sun, crouched there, eyes wide and worried._

_“Something’s landed in the valley!” they said. “It fell from the heavens!”_

* * *

“Ready to go, Kaname-kun?” Inoichi asked, and I nodded. My limbs still felt a little shaky, but they were strong enough.

And I was desperate to finally get out the hospital.

It had been two weeks since I had arrived in K…in _Konoha_.

While I had often spent months in the hospital back home, here I had spent two weeks of being kept absolutely isolated in the lower parts of the hospital, with only the Hokage, Inoichi, and Rie (and the occasional whispering voice) as company, while my paperwork was being quietly (and very quickly) moved through the bureaucracy of the village.

Now I would be taken to my apartment near the Sarutobi clan residence, near the Hokage Tower. Later that week, once I’d managed to set my life somewhat in order, I would be introduced formally to the clan and to its elders.

That was a particularly nerve-wracking thought, so I quickly set it aside. I would have enough trouble dealing with the unshakeable proof that I was in Konoha, much less factoring in what I would have to do to remain there.

I smoothed a hand over the skirt and blouse combination Rie had brought me, and pulled the small bag of few items I had accumulated over the past two weeks over one shoulder. Inoichi offered me his arm, and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me as I took it. The two of us walked out the door, and up a flight of stairs.

For about a year after I settled in, I would continue having weekly meetings with the head of the Yamanaka clan, to both aid in the ordering of my mind and to insure that I was mentally sound.

(In other words, to make sure I wasn’t - and wouldn’t become - a bat-shit crazy threat to the village)

I didn’t much mind. Inoichi was very nice, after all, and it was like talking with Uncle-

My teeth ground as the name floated just out of reach, even though a man’s face flickered before my eyes. Brown hair lightly silvered with age, light brown eyes, a warm smile, and a teasing laugh.

_It’s nice to see you guys again!_

_Why didn’t your Dad want to come up this year?_

_You’ll always have a home with us, ___._

I sighed, and rested my head on Inoichi’s shoulder.

He patted my head, and I thanked all the gods that the man was okay with my clingy nature. It made things a lot easier on me, to know that I had something to hold on to when I needed it.

(Also, Inoichi was _quite_ handsome. Being able and allowed to hang onto such a good looking man would perk up _anyone’s_ spirits.)

The air became lighter, the flooring and ceiling becoming lighter in color, instead of the darkened walls of the isolation ward. I looked around curiously, noting how much it resembled the hospitals back home.

But then I saw something – gray and black and white – flicker in my peripheral vision. I whirled around, releasing my grip on Inoichi as that strange energy teased at me.

There was no one behind us.

“Minori-kun? Are you all right?” Inoichi asked.

I nodded, hair prickling along my spine, feeling eyes that weren’t there _watching_ me, and turned back.

“Y-Yeah. Just…it-it’s nothing. Sorry,” I told him, and took his arm again. Inoichi looked over my head, but then nodded.

“So, um, Inoichi-san, do you know any good restaurants?” I asked lamely, and Inoichi blinked, before bursting into laughter.

My ears burned.

“It was a legitimate question,” I said, pouting a little.

“Getting tired of hospital food?” Inoichi teased, and my blush grew. He laughed again. “I think you’ll get on well with Chōza, Minori-kun.”

“You mean Akimichi-sama?” I asked, curious. Inoichi nodded.

For all Inoichi had permitted me to use his first name (along with the honorific - _san_ , of course), there was no way in hell I was ever going to address an adult, a clan leader, and _the head of the goddamn Akimichi clan_ by anything less than full respect.

(The Akimichi had always been, hands down no contest, my absolute favorite Konoha clan, and they were one of the few clans whose good side I wanted to remain firmly on beyond reasons for pure survival. When I’d been younger, seeing _fat ninjas_ had meant the world to me.)

“Chōza likes anyone who likes his family’s food,” he said, amused. “I’ll have to introduce you to him. He can show you the best restaurants.”

I grinned in childish excitement. I would not only get to meet _Akimichi Chōza_ , but I would get a chance to go to some of his favorite restaurants and get food he liked-

As if on cue, my stomach let out a fearsome growl, and my blush returned at full force.

Inoichi cackled as we walked past medic-nin, and started seeing patients around. He steered me down a hallway to my right as I pouted. Why did this man have the ability to make me feel as though I were a prepubescent teen again?

“Oh, Chōza’s _really_ going to like you, Minori-kun,” he said gleefully, as he opened a door, and the two of us stepped out onto a side street.

“You try having hospital food for two weeks before you start getting desperate for something else,” I said crossly.

Inoichi laughed again.

“Undoubtedly,” he said in a voice that tried for soothing but fell short. “Now, I’m going to get us to where we need to be rather quickly. You might want to hold on.”

He scooped me up in his arms and I squeaked in shock, before realizing what exactly he was going to do.

"Holy fu-"

My scream was cut off before it could even fully form as the world vanished into a blur of color. There were barely two seconds of the nauseating feeling until the world solidified into coherency again.

My eyes snapped open again, and I wheezed for air, clinging to Inoichi. That had been the goddamn Shunshin, or Body Flicker, or whatever it was called, allowing instantaneous movement between a Point A and a Point B. Very convenient, for shinobi.

But in my opinion?

_Fuck that jutsu._

“Are you all right?” Inoichi asked and I nodded. Once I’d gotten my air back, he let me stand upright again, and I looked around.

We were at the corner of some well to do looking stores – perhaps a market place? – but in the distance I saw what confirmed it.

Four faces carved into the great cliffs that formed the backbone of Konoha. Four men, their faces distinct even when etched in stone.

The Hokage Monument.

_Senju Hashirama._

_Senju Tobirama._ (My lip curled back at the thought of him. My memories of him were…not good.)

_Sarutobi Hiruzen._

_Namikaze Minato._ (I wasn’t a fan of him either)

“Wow,” I whispered, feeling even more childishly excited. For one moment I wasn’t thinking about all the conditions that had been set for me to stay here, I wasn’t thinking of what had happened or was going to happen, I wasn’t thinking of all the names I didn’t know…

I was remembering a worn and toy-like headband, and wishing I could fly through the sky, only coming down long enough to launch myself up again. I was remembering a sphere of pure explosive power, hands rapidly flying through seals, and red, corrosive energy covering a person’s body.

I was remembering bright blue eyes and bright yellow hair.

_Believe it!_

I couldn’t help the awed smile that spread across my face as Inoichi led me down the road. I noticed we got a few looks from the people who were out in about, but they were easily ignored.

But that sparked another question - did ninja go by the same relative times as I remembered from back home? Did they have rush hours and whatnot? Were the streets more packed at certain times than they were other times?

Questions, questions.

After turning down another street, we stopped at a rather nice-looking place. It was clean-walled and well-kept, and was in a fairly decent neighborhood. I could see the Hokage’s Tower several blocks away.

“I like this place!” I told Inoichi seriously, beaming up at him.

“Good, because it will be your home,” he said, and led me into the building.

* * *

The apartment I was given was a very nice one.

It had a decent sized bedroom and kitchen, a frankly spacious bathroom – thank all the gods and stars I wouldn’t have to share it like I’d had to back home – and a living room of sorts, with a large window that dominated the right side, and had a perfect view of the Monument and the Tower.

And best of all, until I received a job, it was absolutely free. It couldn’t get much better than that.

I bowed to the landlord, Tachibana Umeko, after she handed me my keys. The elderly woman nodded to me, then bowed to Inoichi, and left the room.

“Now, Minori-kun,” Inoichi said. “The Hokage will have a guide bring you to the Sarutobi residence tomorrow morning. You’ll decide what job will best suit you, and you’ll receive an allowance to buy things you may need.”

…Shit, I was going to need to make a lot of lists.

I’d never lived on my own, not once, and I was _ridiculously_ unprepared. What the fuck all did I need?

 _Small wonder Dad always called me the least worldly person he’d ever known_ , I thought despairingly.

A hand landed on my head, and I nearly leapt out of my skin. Inoichi grinned at me.

“I think you’ll be fine, Minori-kun,” he said seriously. “And…welcome to Konoha.”

My answering grin felt as bright as the sun.


	3. ACT ONE - Transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another...]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for keeping you all waiting! My parents were really, really ill, and then I got really, really sick - right through my birthday, too! D: So I've been really out of it. I hope this sorta makes up for it, though.
> 
> *Also, for those who may be confused - Minori is 21 years old, though their neurodivergent personality and immaturity belie that fact. Also, Minori is agender, meaning they are not female or male. Their pronouns are they/them, just so you know! :D

* * *

My second breakdown came when I caught full sight of my appearance for the first time.

Back home, I was a _singularly_ unattractive person.

This wasn’t self-deprecating humor or whatever (well, at least it wasn’t nowadays).

I had been overweight (morbidly obese, my doctors had often screeched to the heavens), with skin that flaked very easily and broke out into rashes whenever anything less than super-mega-extra-gentle non-fragrance soap was used, yellowed teeth from a lack of a strict hygiene regimen as a kid, and absolutely nothing that may have approached a fashion sense. My hair had started going silver when I was fifteen, my lips were perpetually chapped, and my first real contact with makeup had come in high school _theater class_.

Simply put, none of the above made for anything even _remotely_ attractive.

I had never caught sight of myself in the hospital, and I had to admit that in the shapeless hospital gown I’d been unable to. And with everything else going on, looking at myself just wasn’t important.

(I already knew I was ugly, why reinforce that?)

But then I’d caught sight of myself in the full length mirror that hung on the door of my new bathroom, and my brain just broke.

That wasn’t me I saw in the mirror. That wasn’t me – but.

It _was_.

Average height, I noted of the person reflected in the mirror, a towel curled around their naked body.

They were of an average height, curvy, and _muscular as fuck_. Hair that tangled around their shoulders, black-brown with dozens of strands of silver twining through it. An oval-ish face dominated by black-brown eyes framed with thick, dark eyelashes. A straight curve of a nose that flared out just a little, set over a soft, naturally red and lush mouth.

It was _me_ \- the person in the mirror moved as I did – but me without all the…the flaws. Or not as many.

I wasn’t much skinnier - my weight was just far better distributed than it had been. My skin and lips were soft and smooth. My teeth were white, and my face just overall looked…

Better.

And the muscles. _Holy god damn_ , the _muscles_.

Before, the ratio of fat to muscles had been something around 75 to 25 percent.

I’d been working on that, and working really hard, but I’d long since accepted that it would take many more years for that to change in any substantial amount.

But now the ratio was more along the lines of 55 percent fat to 45 percent muscle.

In layman’s terms, I was fucking _ripped_ , bruh.

I was strong, I was light now, I was what I had always wanted, had always _dreamed_ of having-

But it wasn’t-

Why, why had this happened-

What the fuck was going on-

My knees gave out, and my bare ass hit the cold tiles as I let out a keening sob.

* * *

Somehow I managed to pull myself together before my guide arrived at my door.

I tucked the hesitant lists (groceries! toiletries! more than two changes of clothing! Bras that actually fucking _fit_ my ginormous boobs-) I had made last night into my tiny little bag, and looked down at the other change of clothes Rie had given me.

It was another skirt and blouse combination, though this one was a great deal more girly and feminine than the clothes I had worn from the hospital.

The shirt was covered in cheerful looking yellow sunflowers and had wide sleeves and a low neckline designed to emphasize cleavage – I still had _plenty_ of that, much to my chagrin. The skirt was a dark green, embroidered with gold flowers along the hem, and had a pleasing sort of flow to it.

That by itself would have been perfectly fine, but the skirt was made of a single length of silk that connected only by a tie at the waist. Thus, whenever I moved, a _great deal_ of my leg was revealed to _everyone_.

“Fucking hell,” I said, careful not to look at myself too closely in the mirror. Wasn’t Konoha supposed to be a rather _conservative_ place for clothing? And I was going to meet with the _Hokage_ , for fuck’s sake.

…At least it was a nice looking leg. (And at least I wouldn’t be meeting with the elders.)

I shook myself as a brisk knock sounded at the door, quickly storing my keys in the bag. I hurried to the door, and opened it with a welcoming smile, slipping on the thin black sandals I’d worn yesterday.

(Speaking of which, I would _definitely_ need new shoes. These would kill my feet very quickly)

A black-haired, olive-skinned woman stood at the door, dressed in what I vaguely recognized as a chūnin uniform. She wore a hitai-ate around her forehead, and carried herself with a quiet, implacable confidence.

She looked a great deal like Asuma, the Hokage’s son. Perhaps this was a cousin?

Her dark eyes flicked over me and dismissed me in one glance, and I felt myself shrink at least two (metaphorical) feet, as my smile died away.

“I am Sarutobi Haruki,” the woman said. “You are Kaname Minori?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Come along.” She turned on a heel and I sighed. This was going to be _such_ a fun day.

I made sure to lock the door, fumbling a bit as I did so, before quickly following her.

* * *

Haruki led me at a brisk trot through the village, down several streets, and a little past the Hokage’s Tower. I hadn’t bothered to try to say more than a few words of pathetic pleasantries to her before her cold grey eyes promptly persuaded me to keep my mouth shut.

 _Tough crowd_ , I thought wryly, as we turned down yet another street, crossed through the boundary to a small forest north of the Monument, and into a clearing dominated by a gorgeous looking house.

My eyebrows shot through my hairline, and I made an “ _oooo_ ” sound. Because this house _definitely_ warranted it.

While I very much loved the apartment, and had greatly preferred living in a city to living out in an actual house with lands and whatnot, this was a house I would have liked to live in.

There were lots of trees surrounding the house, and lush, gloriously emerald grass on either side of the perfectly shaped stone path that led to the front door. Long porches, light wood walls, screen doors, sloping, curved roofs, and lots of flowers around the buildings that formed the Sarutobi clan residence.

It was exceedingly peaceful, and a beautifully serene oasis in the middle of the city.

I turned to Haruki, who was watching me out of the corner of her eye.

“This is a lovely place, Sarutobi-san,” I said softly.

The stoic mask the woman wore cracked a little then, and I got to see Haruki’s grey eyes lighten to the color of moonstones, or perhaps the color of river stones.

She was very beautiful, I realized, and obviously proud of her family’s home. I smiled brightly at her, enjoying the beauty that familial pride brought to her face. I had always had a fondness for beautiful women.

Haruki’s eyes widened, before she quickly turned away with an audible huff, and stalked up the path.

I wilted. I hadn’t been _that_ creepy, had I?

Shaking it off – I’d never had the slightest luck with women (or men!) back home, so why would a change of universe do anything to improve it? – I darted along after her, looking around as we ascended the small set of stairs that led up to the wooden walkway.

The house greatly resembled what I had seen of Japanese houses back home, and had everything I had greatly adored about traditional Japanese architecture.

I had to focus to keep my balance and not trip over my own two feet as I subtly gaped at everything like a country bumpkin. A high-class country bumpkin!

…right, like anything _I_ did could ever be termed ‘high-class’.

I slipped off my shoes as Haruki did, and followed behind her, wincing as I accidentally tread on every squeaky floorboard there was. The shinobi, however, made not a single sound.

We entered the house. It was just as beautiful as the outside, very airy, with lots of open sliding doors, lush gardens, water features, and expensive wood paneling.

It wasn’t nearly as big as I thought it would be, but I assumed this house was only lived in by the main branches of the clan, or those who didn’t live with Hiruzen in the Hokage’s residence. Maybe this was more for the elders of the clan, or some such thing?

I wasn’t entirely sure, but it was likely that many shinobi of the clan lived in the village proper, in the neighborhoods that mostly consisted of other shinobi.

…Or maybe that was just what I remembered from my knowledge of _Naruto_ fanon. I honestly didn’t know, and the voices were quiet on the matter. Perhaps the clan did mostly live here, as the house was expansive enough for one of the founding noble clans of Konoha.

I did notice people around – a few with the same skin tone as Haruki’s, and those with lighter skin and clothing that was a little less well-to-do, who I assumed were servants or employees of some kind.

But they all had one thing in common, and that was that they all _stared_ without reservation at us as we passed. I fidgeted uncomfortably.

Outside a stage or a speaking platform, I didn’t do well with people who _stared_.

Haruki stopped at a large sliding door.

“Come in, Haruki-chan,” the Hokage said, and the woman slid the door open.

The room was a nice one, obviously meant for welcoming guests from the look of the low table surrounded by cushions that took up the center of the floor. There was a lack of decoration in the room beyond a few waterscapes on the walls, and two screens painted with stylized monkeys at the far end.

 _But with a view like that,_ I thought in awe, _one didn’t need decoration._

The entire left half of the room opened up onto a wooden porch, the sliding doors pushed to the side, and the forest curled up beyond it, all lush greens and swaying trees, paired with a deep, still pond. There was a gentle breeze and the sounds of fauna that would normally be found in such a place, resulting in such a feeling of peace and serenity that it was almost impossible to adequately describe.

“Oh,” I whispered in quiet awe, before noticing the man sitting at the edge of the porch was watching us.

The Hokage – puffing on his pipe – smiled and nodded.

“Haruki-chan, you’re dismissed,” he said, and Haruki bowed low.

“By your leave, Hokage-sama,” the woman said, and quickly left the room.

There was a drawn-out silence that should have been awkward as the Hokage looked at me.

 _Wow, he’s really good at that,_ a third voice said in my head, one I had never heard before.

It was a comforting voice, a twining mix of masculine and feminine tones, and set me completely at ease as nothing else had ever managed to do.

 _Watch out for him, Mi-chan,_ the voice said and I felt a sensation like someone had set their chin on my shoulder. _He’s doing this on purpose. Wants to make you like him a lot, and his clan too._

But I had to admit - it was working.

Despite all the shit Sarutobi Hiruzen had let happen – the Uchiha clan’s exile and the subsequent massacre, the treatment of Naruto by the village, Orochimaru, _Danzō_ – he’d been my favorite Hokage besides Tsunade-hime. He was just so grandfatherly, and he'd been one of Naruto's lifelines before Iruka-sensei had come in the picture. I couldn't not like the man.

“Have a seat, Minori-kun,” Hiruzen said, and I quickly crossed over to him.

 _Stop._ The woman’s voice was back again, quiet and commanding. _Sit gracefully, and go to your knees. No cross-legged sitting, do you understand? Position yourself at an angle where he can see and speak with you, but one that is a respectful distance from him._

With the innate obedience of a long time theater student taking direction from their director, I unhesitatingly obeyed the voice, and knelt beside the God of Shinobi.

The wind teased at my hair, blowing tendrils into my face, and I promised myself that – as soon as possible – I would get it cut.

“How do you like your apartment, Minori-kun?” Hiruzen asked.

“It’s wonderful, Hokage-sama,” I said softly. “I feel as though it’s far more than I deserve.”

“Nonsense,” he said. “You’ll do more than enough to earn it.”

The words were ominous, like a prophecy, even though he was more than likely talking about the village gaining my abilities. I shivered a bit.

“I hope I can, Hokage-sama,” I said weakly.

There was another not-awkward silence, while Hiruzen puffed on his pipe and I watched the trees in front of us.

“What are your strengths, Kaname-kun?” Hiruzen asked, and I paused.

“My strengths, Hokage-sama?” I asked blankly. Oh fuck, was this like a goddamn job interview-

“You would like a job, would you not?” he asked. “I do not believe you would be the sort of woman to accept having your husband provide for you.”

It took a great deal of effort to keep my teeth from grinding.

“That is correct, Hokage-sama,” I said softly, bowing my head so as not to let him see the fury.

Damn straight I wasn’t going to let _‘my husband’_ provide for me.

I didn’t even _want_ a fucking husband. I couldn’t correct him in regards to my gender, as I understood the confusion – did Konoha even know what ‘agender’ meant? – but god, a husband? A _husband_?

“Where do you think you would be most suitable, Kaname-kun? I do not believe you have the temperament for shinobi work, even if you are capable of it, though you will receive training for it.”

I hummed.

“I think I would do the best in an office job, or perhaps somewhere where I do not need to work with too many people, at least until I have more of a grasp on my, uh, _kekkei genkai_. I have worked as a secretary and a bookseller before, and at a variety of jobs in restaurants and schools. I would do well, I think, in a library or bookstore.”

“I do remembered hearing about a position opening up at the Library,” Hiruzen said after a short pause. “I’ll make sure you are the one who receives it. But I have to warn you that Yamamoto-san, the head librarian, certainly isn’t one to cross. You’ll have to work hard to impress her.”

I grinned brightly and clapped my hands together, indulging in a childish burst of excitement. “I will! I _love_ libraries, so it’s not going to be difficult. Thank you!”

Hiruzen smiled like a proud father.

Grandfather.

 _Whatever_.

“Now, in regards to your training…from what Rie has told me, you will be unable to use either ninjutsu or genjutsu. Your primary focus will be on taijutsu, weapons skills, and honing your _kekkei_ _genkai_. A jōnin by the name of Maito Gai will be teaching you in regards to taijutsu, he is a prodigy in the subject…”

…Oh my god?

_Oh my god?_

OH MY _GOD_.

I fought to keep the hysterical smile off my face and the gleeful laughter locked away.

I was going to be training with _Gai_. I was going to be training with _Maito Gai_ \- also known as the over exuberant bastard who was like Bruce Lee on steroids, who had a mini-him by the name of Rock Lee.

See, the thing was, I _loved_ Gai and Lee. The two of them had been my childhood heroes, and I had had a crush on Lee that rivaled every other fictional crush I had ever had. All the times I’d been ill – seeing their enthusiasm, their joy for life, their determination to _Be Awesome_ even though they weren’t innately talented or handsome had saved my life and made me want to be a better person.

I mean, Gai was going to kick my ass in training, because he was fucking nuts about it, but I WAS GOING TO LEARN TAIJUTSU FROM THE GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA!

(It was entirely possible that I was just a wee bit _too_ excited)

“That would be an honor, and I hope he won’t be too frustrated by my incompetence,” I said mildly, instead of giving voice to the frantic screechings of my Inner Fangirl.

“With weapons training and other subjects, Haruki-chan will be your primary instructor. Concerning the knowledge you will need to be a Sarutobi and to be a part of the clan, and also what will be required of you as a wife…that training will be the responsibility of Haruki’s mother, Moriko. You, of course, will continue meeting with Oono-san for training with your _kekkei_ _genkai_ , and with Inoichi once a week,” Sarutobi said, his voice business-like.

(I resolutely did _not_ flinch at the idea of me being a wife.)

We continued talking for some time, discussing my financial situation – I would be given a small allowance to buy clothes, and other amenities at first, but once I had a job, I would be expected to pay an amount to the clan each week out of my paycheck, as befitting a technical ‘branch member’ of the clan – and my schedule. It seemed very reasonable.

(Except for the insistence that I would become a wife in the near future)

But I was very much a foreigner with only a few memories and a volatile yet powerful ability, and these people were essentially saying they’d give me a name, a home, and money for a _pittance_ – especially for these military folk…

But it wasn’t entirely a pittance, now was it?

My child, my _children_ , would be forced to become shinobi to further their aims. I would be forced to learn much of the same things that made the killers of this village so dangerous.

I didn’t want to become a shinobi, I didn’t want my children to become a shinobi, hell, _I_ had never even _wanted_ to bear children.

But it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter.

If it was between having kids with some stud picked out by the Hokage himself, or falling into Shimura Danzō’s hands…well, that wasn’t really a choice at all, now was it.

* * *

Hiruzen breathed out, sending swirls of smoke into the wind as Haruki led the newest member of their clan away, flustered by the girl’s exuberant nature. He smirked at the thought of his normally stoic niece’s imperceptible.

It would do her well, to have the teaching Minori-chan, and would be good practice when she finally became a jōnin, as he knew very well would happen soon.

A presence made itself blatantly known to his left – not that he hadn’t been aware of it, ever since Minori had entered the clan compound - and he hummed.

“Your thoughts?” he asked the ANBU, who wore a wolf’s mask.

“She doesn’t have the mindset for kunoichi or shinobi work,” came the prompt response. “She is childish, undisciplined, and simple minded at best. Her only saving grace are her abilities, if she can keep them under control.”

Hiruzen did not smile at that, no matter how much he wished to.

A less than flattering first impression, but then again, Wolf hadn’t been there in the hospital after the first couple of days. The ANBU hadn’t seen the way her eyes tracked him, hadn’t seen the careful, quiet contemplation, hadn’t heard the report Inoichi had given of the girl’s mind.

Perhaps she was childish, certainly undisciplined (especially to the mind of one who had been swayed by ROOT for so long), but simple minded?

No, _that_ she was not.

He had seen in her a mind that – if guided – could become a formidable force in the defense of Konoha, especially if she proved talented at her studies, and in her abilities. Maybe not as a shinobi, though her abilities would demand a form of shinobi training, but as something else.

“Continue watching,” he said instead, “and you will report to me weekly on her behavior and habits while here. If she poses a threat, then insure she will not pose one any longer.”

“…Understood. By your leave, Hokage-sama,” Wolf said, and vanished when Hiruzen nodded.

Hiruzen watched the trees as they swayed, and shook his head.

“This should be interesting,” he told himself.


	4. ACT ONE - Precognition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...clairvoyance relating to an event or state not yet experienced...]_

* * *

I was one hundred percent correct on two things.

Gai _was_ fucking nuts about taijutsu, and he _did_ kick my ass.

Continuously.

Every time we met.

I lay face down in the grass, my legs screaming with agony, my chest struggling to draw in more air, my hair soaked with sweat, while Gai – who wasn’t even remotely winded, gods all damn him – circled around my prone body on his hands. It had been close to two weeks since I’d started taking lessons.

“Are you all right, Kaname-san?” he asked, nothing but concern in his voice, and I groaned, before prying my head out of the ground and giving him a weary smile.

“You kicked my ass, Maito- _sensei_ ,” I teased, and giggled when his eyes sheened over with excited tears.

“ _Sensei_!! Why, Kaname-san, I’m not-”

“My mother would be _appalled_ to know I haven’t given someone who’s taking time out of their day to teach me something the proper respect,” I said as primly as I was able, considering that I was still all but embedded in the earth. “ _Appalled_ , let me tell you…Now, uh, sensei…could you help me up? I can’t quite feel my legs.”

Gai flipped to his feet, and did just that, his arm like a band of steel at my sweat-soaked back. I grinned lazily at the younger man, swaying a bit. I had rarely had so much fun with a trainer in my entire life.

The only time I’d _ever_ enjoyed doing anything like a workout was the daily dance classes I had been taking back home. But Gai – all of eighteen or so years old, green from head-to-toe, and clothed proudly in his admittedly very dashing jōnin vest – was the most motivating trainer I’d ever been blessed with.

I would probably be cursing his name before two months were up, but still! I had a lot of fun, and that made me want to do more, and become even stronger, and that was the most important part of exercise!

“Piggyback ride?” I asked him hopefully, as the jelly that had replaced my knee joints quivered alarmingly.

“I will get you back home in under twenty seconds, or I will do _three_ hundred laps around the village!” Gai boasted, and swung me onto his back. I squeaked and clamped on, giggling helplessly.

“On your hands, right?” I asked, before shrieking as the world bled into color.

That never got old.

* * *

_I could feel the earth splitting beneath me._

_There were screams._

_Hundreds upon thousands of them._

_I was failing._

_And my people would pay the price._

* * *

“Kaname-san, please re-shelf these,” the matronly woman who was the evening librarian said, pushing a small cart loaded high with books over to me.

“Of course, Matsuda-san,” I said with a respectful smile, taking the cart and pushing it to the shelves.

The Library of Konoha was much smaller than the libraries I remembered from my home, and from my childhood days. But it was still extraordinarily extensive, especially for a militaristic society that had only just several generations ago been immersed in a brutal series of civil wars among themselves.

I could marvel at that, even as my mind balked at the thought of the Warring States Era and the sheer amount of death involved in it. It was funny, to see that Konoha used the same names as Japan did, though that was only to be expected, considering Konoha was essentially (something of) an older Japan-expy.

…With superpowers.

And anachronisms galore.

I shook my head wryly, and went back to shelving the books. At the very least I was lucky that I’d been slingshot into this world with an added ability to read and understand Japanese – or whatever language was used by the natives. I never would have done half as well here if I hadn’t.

My fingers slipped into a book on a town near Konoha – called Kitano, and wasn’t _that_ a jolt to hear – and I opened it for a quick look.

The kanji were still as legible as ever – _Kitano has a population of 5,000 and is primarily home to textile merchants…_ \- even though I’d never taken a day of Japanese in my life. Perhaps it wasn’t too out of left field in regards to my verbal understanding the language, as I’d been an anime person all my life, even using Spanish subtitles on Japanese dubs to further my understanding of both languages…

But _kanji_?

I hadn’t even gotten far enough to understand the written word with _Arabic_ , and I’d taken Arabic classes for close to three years.

I sighed, and shelved the book, before continuing down the aisle.

* * *

_Fire raged._

_Fire consumed everything._

_I lay on the ground, dying slowly, my husband already dead._

_A gasp left me, trembling and broken._

_The moon was full._

* * *

Sarutobi Moriko was the most intimidating woman I had ever met in my entire life.

Also, I _really_ wanted to kick her in the shin.

And my knees hurt like hell.

The elderly, grey-haired retired kunoichi sniffed audibly as I wrote with painstaking caution, careful to write out the kanji that spelled my new name without getting the sleeves the probably expensive as fuck kimono I had been given in the ink.

Of course, I had to do all of this utterly and absolutely gracefully, without a single error.

“Wrong!” The woman snapped, and I managed to keep myself from jerking and smearing the words into a blur.

I kept my head down, and boiled with annoyance.

“The spirits only know why the Hokage thought I could do anything with someone as ramshackle as _you_ ,” the dark-eyed woman sniffed, perfectly poised. “I feel pity for whatever man he chooses for you. Sit _straight_ , girl!”

I did so, and fixed the expression on my face I’d learned many years ago while a theater student -absolutely attentive, alert, and respectful, without showing a single shred of my real emotions.

“Hm…” the woman glared at me. “The elders will expect much more of you than this paltry nonsense, girl. Pour tea, and do it right this time.”

 _Help!_ I begged, shameless in it, and felt the laughter that had become so very, very familiar spiral through me.

There was a feeling of unseen hands wrapped around me from the inside out, and a gracefulness I had never possessed suffusing me. A noble sort of air, one that allowed me to float out of the annoyingly painful _seiza_ position and to my feet with little effort.

I gathered the instruments needed, made and prepared each cup, and then poured the tea, before setting the cups before her, and then me. I sank back into the position, and we drank.

It was testimony to my training, self-control, and the help of the voice inside my head that I didn’t spit out the horrifically bitter tea but instead sipped it with quiet ease.

“Adequate,” Moriko said grudgingly. “Perhaps you will not be a total failure.”

 _Thank god_ , I thought, without a single twitch on my face to show my true feelings. But then she kept speaking, and my inner triumph melted away like quicksand.

“Show me how you’ve progressed in your work with the _kudaragoto_ ,” she ordered, pointing at a cursedly familiar instrument resting in the corner of the room.

I inwardly groaned.

Noblewoman’s training sucked ass.

* * *

_People never changed, no matter where they were from._

_The temples burned, my people slaughtered, betrayed._

_I pulled the air from the lungs of a man with unearthly skin._

_Then another, and another._

_Die, die, die, die, DIE!_

* * *

The dummy _thunked_ as the kunai whacked into it. It was ridiculously far away from the red and white circles that formed the target, but at least it was actually on the dummy-

I winced as the kunai fell out, and rubbed my wrist.

“That’s, uh, really difficult,” I said sheepishly.

Haruki shook her head.

“You’re doing well, especially for a first time student,” she praised, and my face flushed.

“Thank you, Haruki-san,” I said with a shy grin.

I’d only started my lessons with the older woman less than a week and a half ago, but I was still stuck on throwing practice kunai. I wouldn’t even get to using practice shuriken for a long while yet.

But at least I got to spend time with Haruki. She was a far better teacher than her jackass of a mother, and had a lot more interesting stories to tell and things to teach.

It had taken a bit to get her to see that I wasn’t entirely useless and creepy, but she had seemed to warm up to me after that. I was glad, because Haruki with a smile was a sight to behold.

“You know,” Haruki said suddenly, as I was gathering the kunai and storing them in the box they were kept in. “The first time I practiced with kunai, I hit my brother in the ass.”

I choked.

“No, are you _serious_.”

Haruki chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of her head.

“I kid you not. He must have leapt six feet into the air. Accidentally used chakra to boost himself. Landed in a thorny bush.”

I cackled. “Oh, _wow_. He must have gotten you back good for that,” I said, falling in step beside her.

I had never had siblings, but I had had enough friends who had siblings to know how these things usually went.

“He put itching powder on my bed sheets.”

“A classic.”

“I got him back, though.”

And there was Haruki’s rare smile, with a hint of a smirk, proud and curling at the edges, genuine warmth and good humor, with the sort of sadism best personified by younger (and older) sisters everywhere.

“Tell me _everything_ ,” I said, my eyes all but sparkling.

* * *

_I staggered to my knees._

_Not now. I could not die now._

_There were hundreds of more men coming._

_I threw out my hands, one last attack, to push back this betrayal._

_But I knew would never see my family again._

* * *

Rie’s house was probably one of the few in all of Konoha that had actual air conditioning, in light of the experiments she conducted as part of R&D, a fact for which I was exceedingly grateful.

And it was likely I would be spending a great deal of my free time here, for both the cool air and the obvious welcome Rie had for me. It was hard for me to remember that the confident woman was still considered as much of a foreigner as I was, even though she’d been here for years longer.

I supposed her being originally from the Land of Lightning didn’t help her case any, though she’d lost her family to Kumo-nin.

Being among company that didn’t look at her suspiciously had to be a breath of fresh air, in any case.

I breathed out, and the candle on the table in front of me flickered. The machines I was hooked up to rattled dangerously, and I broke off, seriously alarmed.

Rie laughed.

“No need to fear, Minori-kun. I already told you things will more than likely explode during these sessions of ours, and these machines _are_ replaceable.”

I gave her and the machinery an exceedingly skeptical look, which made her laugh all the harder.

“It’s not a problem, Minori-kun, I promise you that, in light of what you’re bringing to the table. And you’ve made such progress that even if you don’t do well with your presentation to the Sarutobi Clan Elders, they certainly won’t be able to throw you out. Your _kekkei_ _genkai_ is much too powerful.”

My fingers brushed over several small burns on my fingertips, and I scowled.

“Crotchety, old, power-hungry fucks,” I groused.

Rie’s hand brushing over my head was sympathetic.

“I know, but you’ll be out of it soon. Has the Hokage decided on a husband for you yet?”

My spine went straight, and my face went sullen. I couldn’t help, and more importantly, I didn’t _want_ to help it.

She sighed.

“Not looking forward to it?”

“…No.”

Rie stood, and walked to the machine closest to me, fiddling with it a bit.

“You’re not the type to accept false platitudes, Minori-kun. So I won’t give you any.”

She stopped, and looked at me. Her eyes were sad and maybe a little bitter.

“You’ll have to get married, undoubtedly, as the village will make sure of it. Your powers are too extraordinary to let die out. But that does not mean you cannot make things work for _you_. Find a husband who either loves you beyond all others, or find a husband that will give you all the things you most want. Do you want power? Respect? Wealth? The ability to do what you want, unhindered? Find someone who can give those things to you – a Konoha man, naturally - and make sure you get him. Just because you must have a _husband_ , does not mean you must be stuck with one who does not _suit_.”

She smiled then, a sly upturn of her lips, and her fingers glowed with chakra, like tiny stars.

“I grew up poor. I grew up poor, our family destitute. We were a branch house, you see, poor in everything except for our bloodlines. Oono Akihiro was a kind man, a gentle man, but above all, he was wealthy and he was _connected_. I was determined my children would never suffer as I had, that our family would never suffer as I had, to the whims of differing political views among shinobi,” Rie said, walking back over and sitting down before me.

Sitting there stupefied, I realized that I was entranced by her words.

“I wanted my Akihiro, and I got him. I was friends with Himawari-sama, and Hiashi-sama could deny her nothing, after all.” She pressed a finger to my chin and pushed it up, making me look her in the eyes.

“I would never have suffered a man who would have stood between me and my goals. And you don’t have to, either,” Rie said, and smiled, soft and real and genuine. “I will help you in this regard.”

“…Thank you,” I breathed, aware of how big a gift she was offering me was. She kissed the top of my head, before settling back, and into her more businesslike demeanor.

“Anyway, let’s get back to work. Try lighting the candle again, if you would.”

* * *

_I came into a broken world, my people long slaughtered._

_My gifts and my connection to the dying spirit world could not help me._

_It was a latch ditch effort, my birth, to heal the wrongs._

_I came into a broken world, the last of my people._

_And I left it even more broken than it had been before._

* * *

I was being watched.

I was being watched, and it was driving me _straight up the fucking wall_.

During my training sessions with Gai, my lessons with Moriko, during work, when I was out and about, during my free time – someone, or several someones, was watching me.

I wasn’t stupid. I was a foreigner with strange abilities in a foreign, uber-militaristic village. I would have been quite surprised if I hadn’t been followed.

But for the love of God, I didn’t think I would be so completely aware of them.

Weren’t ANBU – and I knew they had to be ANBU, from the flashes of uniform I had occasionally spotted, and the _presence_ that had first alerted me to my stalker(s?) – supposed to be the ‘elite of Konoha’s elite’ or whatever?

And I _knew_ – don’t ask me how, I still didn’t know – that whoever followed me thought less of me.

They thought I was stupid, thought I was weak, and a waste of Gai’s time, and god only knows what else. The feeling their presence carried with them held the snooty sort of air that a rich, snobby brat might have when expected to be around ‘lesser’, poorer children.

And it made me very, very angry.

I walked to the clearing where I would be starting to learn katas from Gai, feeling the presence alighting on trees behind me, and felt a smile curve my lips. Wicked, wicked, wicked!

But hell, I couldn’t resist.

Tucking my hands into the pockets of the shorts I was wearing, I veered off and to the left, vaguely registering the wary surprise of my stalker. I broke out onto an uncrowded street, where they would be forced to tail me closely, or risk letting me get out of range.

I stopped by a small, red-roofed building. This was a part of town that was only sparsely inhabited, and mostly belonged to shops and the like that weren’t open this early.

My stalker perched on the roof near to me as I planted my feet on the ground, breathing deeply.

Then, as quickly as I could, I put my fingers to my lips and blew the single most piercing, most ear-splitting whistle I’d ever let loose in my life. It could have probably been heard clear over the borders of Suna.

I’d spent innumerable summers at my cousin’s sheep farm. If I could do _anything_ , it was blow a man’s eardrums out with a proper whistle.

I heard a curse, a clatter, and a thump.

Blowing the still unseen presence a kiss, I propped a hand on my hip and said “The Hokage really should get someone better to watch me, ne? I get the fidgets whenever _stalkers_ can’t be arsed to hide themselves, you know. Good try though!”

Not one to push my luck, I quickly hurried off to meet Gai, giggling helplessly all the way.

* * *

_A woman floated above me._

_The sky was red and burning, and her eyes were mad._

_I held a boy in my arms, kneeling on the scarred earth._

_He had blond hair and blue eyes dulled by death._

_I screamed in anguish._

_And I_ -

-woke up.

My face was soaked with sweat, my chest heaving, and it took effort – far too much effort – to crawl up onto my elbows. Thoughts flickered like darting fish through my mind, unable to hold still for too long.

Those damn _nightmares_. Fucking hell, but I was getting so sick and tired of the incessant nightmares.

At home, I’d rarely, if ever dreamed. Sometimes I’d been beset with the occasional surreal dream or half-mad nightmare, often a whirling riotous blend of colors that left me choking and gasping when I woke up, but this.

This was something else entirely. The despair, the fear, the choking insecurity, the _death_ -

God, I felt like I was going mad just by going to sleep. At least I hadn’t _known_ any of the people in the previous dreams. I could maintain something of a distance with them. Just a little of it.

(Not really, but at least it hadn’t stayed with me for too long…)

But this last one – _the white-skinned woman, the strange, inhuman gaze, the blood seeping over my hands, the red sky_ – I shuddered, and wrapped my arms around myself.

I had been holding Uzumaki Naruto. A _dying_ Uzumaki Naruto, and facing-

I shuddered again.

Ōtsutsuki Kaguya. The Ten Tailed Beast.

An emotion that was a lot like recognition, ancient and grieving and endless, rushed through me and I sobbed, curling my arms around my knees and burying my face in them.

“No, no, no, I don’t want this, please don’t…” I pleaded.

What did it mean? Was it just some sort of fever-dream brought upon by my proximity to Naruto? Was it just homesickness and loneliness and the fear of what was to come?

Should I have told someone? Gotten this knowledge off my chest? Told the Hokage or Inoichi about it?

…No. No, _that_ I couldn’t do.

My position was precarious enough as it was, and if it got out, what I knew…

I would be forced to live under lock and key, or maybe people would think I was crazy and ignore me entirely, or maybe someone like Orochimaru would get their hands on me. And that was if Danzō didn’t try to have me killed.

…No.

I had come too far into the future to actually do anything, and my knowledge (such that it was now, all faded at the edges by time and past lack of interest) was by no means complete.

If I let things continue, if I didn’t _interfere_ , it would all turn out all right.

Naruto would defeat Kaguya, the world would be saved, everything would be _fine -_ if I didn’t interfere.

Right. I could do that. I could-

_the sky was red as blood_

-do that.

I dropped back onto the pillows, and pressed my hands over my face.

So why did that feel like so much of a lie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious, Gai is about 18 or so at the time of this chapter. Also, a distinct timeline of the Naruto series would be a major help to me - if anyone knows where I can get one.


	5. ACT ONE - Divergence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...a deviation from a course or standard...]_

* * *

“In the months you have been here, Kaname-san, you have certainly surpassed my expectations.”

Yamamoto Mayumi, the stern-faced ex-kunoichi who presided over Konoha’s library, gave me a nod that was perhaps the closest I had come to ever receiving a compliment from her.

“Thank you for your kind words, Yamamoto-san,” I said respectfully, not showing the stupid smile that threatened to burst out.

“You are aware that Susumu-san is leaving the library to join his family in Baisen, are you not?”

I didn’t let a hint of my true feelings out. Susumu Hideo was an annoying man who oversaw what I personally classified as the nonfiction section. He made awful comments towards the women working at the library (and those he believed to be women), and had a tendency to look down on everyone else.

He’d only made a move towards me once before Matsuda, my supervisor, had put a stop to it. He got away with a great deal because he had some relative or whatever on the Council of Civilians.

I very much did not like him, and had been surreptitiously planning a small party with a few of my co-workers for when he did finally leave. Hearing that he was leaving for Baisen, which was several weeks away from Konoha, was the best news I’d gotten in days.

“I am aware of that, yes,” I said politely.

“I realize that Susumu-san did not do well in his position, and will be leaving a great deal of bad blood in his wake,” Mayumi said tactfully, and I fought the urge to snort. “Susumu has recommended Morioka Kunio to replace him.”

I very determinedly did not wince at that idea. Kunio was a rat of a man, snide and sneering and just as annoying as Susumu. The two of them were utter cronies, and Kunio was just as vulgar as Susumu, always wanting to give women ‘massages’ and talk in excruciating detail about his favorite erotica.

Though I kept my face blandly interested, Mayumi must have seen _something_ , because she smiled wryly, her steel-gray eyes sharp.

“Instead, I realized that having someone with a delicate touch would do well in his place, and do much better. So I intend on putting you there.”

My eyes widened. “Y-Yamamoto-san, I’m honored, but don’t you think this should go to someone more experienced?”

“You have plenty of experience, Kaname-san,” the woman said firmly. “Do you not want to take it?”

 _Calm. She is doing this on purpose._ The woman’s voice that I had come to know as Jiao-long said quietly in my head. _Or have you forgotten that you are favored of the Hokage? That you are, for all intents and purposes, a Sarutobi, though you do not bear the name?_

 _So this is just nepotism?_ I thought with a burning sense of annoyance.

_Perhaps. But you cannot deny that you are not talented and that it would not do well for you to accept._

_But I can’t step on anyone else’s toes doing this!_ I thought with agitation.

I’d gone my entire life without ever being the subject of nepotism. If not for Jiao-long’s help, I would have been totally out to sea.

“Yamamoto-san, I cannot in good conscience take this job away from someone else who more deserves it than I. I feel that I am not yet experienced enough to accept more responsibility and to do honor to my clan and to the Library. Perhaps I could suggest Orino-san or Tachibana-san instead? They are considerably more talented than I,” I said quietly.

When Mayumi didn’t respond, I looked up. She was watching me curiously.

“You mean this,” the woman said and sighed. “Do you have an ambitious bone in your body, Kaname-san?”

I smiled and shrugged. “Not particularly. If I have a job I love, one that provides for me within my means, I see no reason to ask for more than that. But really, Yamamoto-san, I am truly honored.”

 _But, when I_ did _want something, I would go for it then. And I would get it, too._

* * *

I stood opposite the man dressed in chūnin attire, literally shaking in my boots.

Sandals, actually, if I wanted to be accurate about this.

Haruki sat near the edge of the field in the secluded and protected training ground, in just enough range to interfere if anything went wrong, but out of harm’s way. Rie stood beside her, a clipboard in hand.

“Don’t worry, kiddo,” Kasai Chōrui, a chūnin of Konoha and a trusted friend of Rie’s, said, obviously trying to sound reassuring but failing miserably because AAAAAAAAAAH WHY DID I AGREE TO FIGHT A NINJA _AAAAAAAAAAAAH!_ “I won’t kill you.”

“I appreciate that,” I said weakly.

But something thrummed inside me, something fierce and excited. I could feel the clamoring of the voices, before they were drowned out by Jiao-long’s strident tones.

_This is to test us. And we will do well._

“Now, the purpose of this is to test your _kekkei genkai_ , Minori-kun,” Rie said. “Use primarily fire jutsus, Chōrui-san, and maybe a small amount of taijutsu if necessary.”

“Gotcha, Rie-san.”

“O-Okay.”

 _Hands up, like so. Palms flat, arms slightly extended. Feet spread until they are under your shoulders. Arms loose, arms relaxed._ Jiao-long ordered, and I followed her without question.

 _And get ready to move,_ the voice I had come to know as Dorje said with careless laughter.

“Katon: Hinotama Suto!” Chōrui called, his hands flashing through a series of very familiar gestures. He pursed his lips and-

Ohohohohohoho _fuck me_.

Fire shot out, a ball of burning flame that exploded towards me. I fought the urge to run screaming from it, Jiao-long’s presence clamped down on my spine like a vise.

 _You are a firebender, fire is your element! You cannot be harmed by the petty marshaling of flame garnered by any shinobi_ , Jiao-long spat. _Now strike back! **Strike!**_

I moved, stepped forward, and struck out at the heart of the flame. The flame brushed my hand, giving me only the slightest hint of heat and warmth before it stopped in its tracks. I twisted, pulled, and struck back, sending a fireball three times the size of the one that had been sent at me back at the chūnin, who swore and dove away just before it singed him.

I stared in quiet shock at my hands, which tingled with power and lingering warmth.

There was no mistaking this, I realized. This was no coincidence of the wind making candles go out, or whatever, as I had often suspected in my private studies.

No, I had bended _fire_. I was a _firebender_.

_Holy fucking shit._

I spared a glance to the left to see Haruki applauding with wide eyes. Rie was smiling as she noted something down on her clipboard.

“Very good, Minori-kun. Continue.”

I swept one leg out, moving more on autopilot than conscious thought, stepping back and putting my arms out before me. I grinned at Chōrui, who smiled back – though with considerable more caution.

* * *

The sign taunted me. The smells taunted me. The very building _itself_ taunted me.

I stood outside the small restaurant, my fingers clutched in my purse, my mind screeching a varied breadth of insults and protests, even as my stomach growled.

Ichiraku Ramen.

 _Gurgleflurglemurgle_.

“Oh hush, you,” I snapped at my stomach.

I could turn around. I could turn around and away and go to a different restaurant. Or, hell, I could actually try making some stuff!

Granny Umeko, who ran the best produce stall in all of Konoha – or so Haruki had insisted – was actually helping me learn to make tasty, healthy dinners! I could do that, instead.

But…ramen.

 _Ichiraku Ramen_.

Just _once_ , I had to have it, to see if it was good. My inner otaku and my ten-year-old self would never forgive me if I didn’t at least try it.

Feeling enormously like I was tempting Fate in the _worst_ way, I pushed the curtains aside and stepped in. The five seats were empty, but a very familiar man was standing behind the counter.

“Welcome!” Teuchi said, and I smiled back.

He was the sort of man that made it impossible not to smile in return.

“Is…Is it all right if I sit here?” I asked hesitantly, and blushed when his eyebrow raised.

“I’m not going to say no to a customer,” he said, and I slid onto the stool. “What can I get you?”

“Uh…um…is the pork good?” I asked softly. “I’ve…um, never had ramen before…”

Teuchi’s eyebrows flew up impressively.

“Well, we’ll have to remedy that, won’t we? Here you go.” the man set a bowl of the most delicious smelling food I’d ever seen in my life in front of me.

 _GURGLE_.

Teuchi chortled as I blushed bright red, and took the chopsticks from him.

With half vague memories of web pages showing the proper technique to eat ramen – when I said I had been a first class _Naruto_ nerd of the highest order, I really hadn’t been kidding – I tucked into the meal.

I couldn’t help the sound of pure joy I made as the noodles and broth slid down my throat. It was so good and I was so utterly goddamn fucked it wasn’t even funny.

 _This isn’t going to be my only meal at Ichiraku Ramen,_ I realized with absolute foreboding.

“I’d ask if you like it, but I think that’s obvious,” Teuchi said as I finished up the bowl with a sigh of contentment. “Want another?”

I definitely wanted another, but I definitely didn’t _need_ another. I had to watch my money, after all, no matter how much I craved more of the delicious noodles. I still had to buy some new linens, after the last ones had been utterly destroyed by my attempt at cooking pumpkin soup.

“No thank you, sir,” I said regretfully, and made to pay for the bowl.

But Teuchi waved me off. “Consider it a gift, for a first time customer,” he said, and my eyes widened.

“Sir, I couldn’t-”

“Since I don’t think this will be the last bowl you’ll have here, I think it’s just fine,” Teuchi said with a grin, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

I liked this guy.

“I’ll definitely be back later this week,” I decided. “After I get my paycheck.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Teuchi said with a grin.

I made to leave, but then turned back around. “Ah, sir, my name is K-Kaname Minori. It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

“I’m Teuchi,” he said with a smile that looked almost – strangely enough - _sad_. “Come back any time.”

There was still the problem of Naruto to deal with, but that was a risk I was more than willing to take when set against the delicious noodles.

And after all, it had been several months since I’d landed in Konoha.

If I hadn’t run into Naruto before this, it wasn’t likely that it would ever happen now.

* * *

The sky was dark and fogged over, and I could smell the storms in the air.

I was tempted to stay out and let the rain soak me, but I had the meeting with the Clan Elders tomorrow, and the absolute last thing I needed was a cold. My fingers clenched around the strap of my bag, and I sighed as I walked home.

Getting myself worked up wouldn’t do anything but make it harder for me to get to sleep. Moriko had all but beaten everything I would need to know into my head, and I also had my companions to assist me if I needed it.

I would be _fine_.

Thunder prowled across the sky, and I cursed, speeding up. I needed to get home and get as much sleep as I could.

I detoured down a street that would hopefully lead me back to my apartment quickly – please god, tonight is _really_ not the night to get lost! – when the door of the building I passed by banged open.

“Get out, you little freak!”

A thin figure, shadowed by the lights behind her, tossed a tiny figure out onto the street. I froze by the wall that surrounded the building on the other side as the woman emerged, fists propped on her bony hips, her eyes narrowed with hatred on the figure that sat cowering on the road in front of her.

“I won’t deal with you anymore and I don’t care how much the Hokage tries to pay me! You’re an awful excuse for a child, and I’m not having you around the other children where you can infect them. If you come around here again, you’ll regret it!”

_-…“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have someone like you around my children. You can understand that, right? I don’t want Adam and Kallie thinking a deviant lifestyle like yours is a good thing…”…-_

The woman advanced on the child on the sidewalk, and I was moving before I could stop myself.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?” I barked, storming up the sidewalk. I put myself in between the kid and the woman, who I could now see more clearly.

Her hair was a gray-lined blonde, pulled rigidly back into a bun that did little for her clearly unhappy face. She wore decently made, practical-looking clothing, but wore it very badly, the dress clinging to her in unattractive folds. She looked like a very pinched woman, both in appearance and in personality.

“Stay out of this, girl, this is no business of yours,” she snapped.

“I think if you’re trying to lay a hand on a child in front of me, that damn well makes it my business,” I snapped right back, folding my arms over my chest.

“That’s no _child_ ,” she spat. “That’s a filthy demon, and I should have put a pillow over its face long ago.”

My stomach dropped into my feet.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, no.

No, no, no, there was no freaking _way_ -

I turned to the side, and my eyes widened.

A little boy, barely older than a toddler, sat there. He wore a ragged shirt and shorts, and no shoes. Dirt smudged his face and matted hair that I knew would be a brilliant sheen of almost neon yellow when properly washed.

And he had six distinctive birth marks that looked a great deal like whiskers, three on each cheek.

Uzumaki Naruto looked up at me with dulled blue eyes.

 _Madre de dios_ , I thought with a sense of shaking hysteria.

“You see? Keep out of this, girl,” the matron of what had to be the gods-damned orphanage said with a haughty sniff, and moved to get around me.

My hand shot out, stopping her in her tracks, and I turned back around.

“Why don’t you go get his things,” I said, barely comprehending the words that spilled out. “And give them to me, yeah?”

The woman stared at me. “What are you talking about?”

“I think the kid would be better off with me than with you,” I said with a smile that didn’t have an ounce of amusement in it. “In fact, I think the kid would be better off with _anyone_ besides you, in my honest opinion.”

The matron puffed up with rage, and her hand snapped out to slap me.

Now, if this had been back home, I could not have dodged it. I would have taken it across the face and it probably would have knocked me on my ass.

But here?

I’d been training with _Maito_ _Gai_ for around four-ish months. While I certainly wasn’t at a chūnin’s level – or even a genin’s, to be accurate – I still had an edge on every single civilian in the village.

I caught her hand, clamping down like a vise, and I leaned in very close.

“Go get his things right now, and I won’t feel the need to let the Hokage know about you trying to lay a hand on the kid, yeah? But if you piss me off any more, I’m going to make sure you regret it _dearly_.”

The matron staggered back, and I let her free to scurry back into the house, before turning to the boy sitting on the dirt road. He was still there, which surprised me a great deal.

I knelt in the road, and looked at him.

He was old enough to have tasted the sting of hatred from the rest of the village, but not yet old enough to lose the hope that someone would not see him that way.

“Yo,” I said, and smiled at him.

His smile in return was very hesitant and very small and it was so goddamn _wrong_.

Uzumaki Naruto was supposed to be bright and vibrant and have the stupidest smile in the entire goddamn village! He wasn’t supposed to look like-like a beaten _dog_ that still hoped for a gentle hand.

What the everloving _fuck_ was wrong with this goddamn village?

I caught the bag before it crashed into the back of my head, and stood. The woman glared at me as I put myself back between her and Naruto.

“I don’t want anything to do with that _demon_ , do you understand me?” she sneered, and slammed the door shut before I could respond.

“Yeah, well, fuck you too,” I said, before looking down at the bag.

My anger skyrocketed at the threadbare sack barely held together by clumsy stitchery. It was stained with dirt and what looked like blood, and the Uzumaki spiral on the front of it was tarnished and worn.

The sheer goddamn _irony_ of the fact that Naruto didn’t even have a decent symbol of his mother’s people made me want to scream with rage.

“Hey, kiddo. You wanna come with me? Looks like you don’t have a place to stay tonight,” I said gently, and held out my hand.

Kids generally didn’t like me. They usually thought I was scary and less than friendly to be around, and I’d never had any clue how to act around kids, even when I’d actually been a kid.

But Naruto’s hand slowly and shyly reached out to me, and closed around my fingers.

“Let’s go get you some food, eh?” I said, and the two of us walked down the road.

The sky rumbled, the air prickling over my flesh, and I cursed. “Shit. Naruto, I’m going to pick you up so we can get home before the rain comes. Is that all right?”

His eyes went huge. “Y-you’re going to carry me?” he asked, his voice soft with shock.

I closed my eyes, fighting for calm and to keep me from setting something on fire. Only when I was entirely sure of my composure did I open my eyes again and smile at him.

“Of course I am,” I said, and after I re-positioned Naruto’s bag, held out my arms.

It was _horrifying_ how hesitant he was to move towards me, and to wrap his arms around my neck. The kid had been so neglected and abused – if not outright physically, then definitely emotionally – that he couldn’t believe someone would want to carry him.

 _Christ Jesus_.

I straightened up, Naruto’s face buried in the side of my neck, his tiny legs wrapped around my stomach, and began to run, pushing my legs as fast as they would go. Not quite ninja speed, but hopefully enough to outrun the storm.

One hand remained pressed to Naruto’s back to keep him steady.

* * *

I sat on the windowsill, watching the rain batter the village.

A faint snort had me looking to my left, where I could see Naruto – freshly bathed and stuffed full of the pork dumplings I’d gotten yesterday from Granny Umeko – sacked out on the couch.

I could see the faint tip of the worn plush frog poking out from within the burrito of blankets I’d wrapped him up in, Naruto’s arms fastened snugly around the pathetic toy.

He only had one toy. One toy, to go with the ragged two changes of clothes that had been in the sack along with it.

I’d never even liked having stuffed animals – mostly because of rampant allergies – but I’d had dozens of toys, ranging from giraffes to stuffed pigs, and more marine wildlife plushies than any person in their entire lives should have ever needed.

My fingers rubbed over the necklace that had come with me to Konoha, one of the few things that I had of my home. The tiny Buddha pendant cast in bronze had been with me since I was ten years old, having been found at a local garage sale I’d gone to with my mother.

When it felt like my world was being thoroughly upheaved – once again – it was a comfort beyond measure to have it with me.

I leaned back against the wall.

What the _fuck_ was I doing? I wasn’t in any position to be caring for a child, and especially not Uzumaki Naruto.

My best option was to take him to the Hokage, who would find a new home for Naruto to stay in until he could join the Academy. He was close to turning five, which was the proper age for joining anyway.

 _But the time to join the Academy is months away_ , Amaruq said, his voice startling me. _And who would care for him without the bias you already do not have?_

 _I have plenty of bias,_ I argued back. _And-_

_But not hate. Not indifference and neglect. Preconceived notions from your memories aside, you do not hate him or fear him. And that makes you far better suited to care for him._

Amaruq’s voice was quiet and firm, and I couldn’t deny a single word he had said.

“God damn it all,” I whispered, and put my head in my hands.

But what if I fucked up? What if I messed Naruto up and somehow managed to let Kaguya win? If I didn’t interfere with Naruto anymore, at least I knew he would eventually defeat the madwoman and save the world-

 _But you’ve given him kindness and warmth. You’ve given him welcome,_ the voice that spoke the least of the four said to me. Abhaidev, strong and yet utterly gentle. _You’ve given him a taste of home, and he will never be able to forget that. What happens if you take that from him now?_

My breath caught in my throat.

 _Naruto, without any love and joy in his life from a young age, until he met Umino Iruka, until he met Teuchi, managed to become the hero of the Fourth Shinobi War. What would happen if you gave him a solid foundation? What could he accomplish then?_ Amaruq whispered.

But…if I interfered, so much could go wrong-

 _But still more can go right,_ Jiao-long said. _And tell us, could you truly look yourself in the eye again, if you abandon a young boy to face the vitriol and hate of those who should have loved and sheltered him?_

My breath hitched, and I looked back out the window, at the four faces hidden somewhat by the storm and pounding rain.

“I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” I admitted shakily. “I don’t know if I could handle it.”

I had been sheltered for years. It had been only in the last year of my time Back Home that I’d even begun to learn half the things people needed for Proper Adulting™, and half of what I’d learned? It straight up just didn’t apply here.

I was childish and simple and slow and – _“…She’s borderline retarded, I have to admit. You really haven’t done the girl any favors by coddling her so much…”_ – my teeth ground almost to the point of pain, and flames began to lash out.

With more control than I believed I had, I reined the fire back in, leaving only small burns on the wood to show I had been angry. It was a far better show than the multiple times I’d set _all_ of my linens on fire with my lack of control.

But didn't that just prove that I wasn't fit to care for him? I mean-

Naruto made a faint noise, rolling over on the couch. His face looked peaceful and relaxed in sleep, without the stress and almost feral sense of self-preservation that I had seen when he was awake. I walked over to him, and knelt beside him.

The jinchūriki of the Kyūbi no Kitsune. The son of the Yondaime Hokage and the previous jinchūriki. The hero of the 4th Shinobi World War. The eventual Nanadaime Hokage. The boy who had been my childhood hero, who had pulled me out of some of the worst days in my life…

And he had been left in an _orphanage_ , abused and mistreated.

My fingers brushed over those distinctive whisker marks, and something flamed into being inside me.

“I will do right by you,” I whispered to the little boy. “Even if the rest of this ungrateful, stupid world won’t, _I will do right by you_.”

I leaned over, and kissed his forehead, a gesture I remembered often from when I was a kid, before pulling away and standing up. I had plans to make, and contingencies to plan for.

I had some idea of what would come my way, if I became Naruto’s caretaker. I knew the rest of the village would very likely not take all that kindly to it, and that my connections to the Sarutobi clan and my _kekkei_ _genkai_ had only protected me this far. Though I doubted it would go nearly as far as it had in the fanfic I had once read, I knew I would be immediately ostracized.

But…

I looked back at Naruto as he curled around his threadbare frog toy, and muffled a wry laugh.

“Guess what, Mama?” I asked my mother, wherever she was. “Turns out you did get a grandkid, even though I had to go into another universe entirely to get you one.”

I walked into my bedroom, and pulled out some paper and a few pens.

I had some Serious Planning to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS
> 
>  **Katon: Hinotama Suto** \- "Fire Release: Fireball Strike"


	6. ACT ONE - Kindred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...similar persons, usually family or otherwise related, associated with one another...]_

* * *

The sun was still well under the horizon when I woke, my alarm’s quiet chiming jerking me out of my restless sleep.

While I had grown used to waking up at the ass crack of dawn – thank you ever so, Gai – it helped to have some extra incentive, especially when I hadn’t gotten a great deal of sleep the night before.

I slid out of bed and over to my closet. While I would don the kimono, accessories, and various paraphernalia that Moriko had prepared for the Meeting when I went to the compound later today, I did need _something_ to wear for running some quick errands this morning, and for stopping by Teuchi’s.

Quickly slipping on a bra and some pants, and tending to my needs in the bathroom, I grabbed my shirt and hurrying out of my room, careful with the sliding door.  I tiptoed through the living room and to the kitchen, brushing the curtain aside that separated it from the living room as I did.

I had to prepare breakfast for not only myself, but for Naruto as well. I _also_ had to prepare his lunch and enough for dinner, as it was unlikely that I would be home in time to make it. I tossed the shirt over the counter, not wanting it to get stained before I went out.

And thanking all the gods and stars in the heavens that I had actually followed through on the food lessons Granny Umeko had offered me (along with how to prepare bento boxes!), I quickly got to work.

My tastebuds were – and had always been – notoriously picky, but I’d had to make a lot of adjustments since my arrival in Konoha. One of those was the addition of a lot of egg and meats I normally never would have consumed.

I touched my Buddha necklace, and sighed as I carved the omelet into bite-sized pieces.

The miso soup simmering away next to the cooking rice, I turned my attention to the rest of the food.

Working quickly, I soon accumulated several boxes of food that would last and would keep, even if Naruto didn’t eat them today.

That would be another part of my early morning errands – buying food that would last.

I heard a noise, and saw the curtain moving in my peripheral vision. With a smile ready on my lips, I turned to Naruto, and nearly felt my heart turn to mush.

Half draped in the blanket I’d bundled him in last night, his frog toy dangling from one hand while the other rubbed sleepily at his eyes, he made a picture that was almost _offensively_ cute.

I had to actually restrain the urge to squeal. _So cute!_

“Good morning, sleepy head. Did I wake you up?” I asked, and Naruto shook his head. Pulling his blanket tighter around him and tucking his toy in the circle of his arms, he looked up at me, and then over at the food with unmistakable longing.

I grinned. “Go sit at the table, yeah? I’ll bring the food in.”

His eyes went huge.

“I-I can have some?” he asked, and though the words made me want to commit mass murder, it was heartening to hear some of the exuberant nature he had been missing the night before poke its way out.

“Well, I certainly can’t eat all of this on my own, now can I?” I said, flashing him another grin as I began to put the breakfast in what little flatware and bowls I owned.

The plates, chopsticks, and bowls ranged a glorious mismatched variety of colors and patterns, all of them interesting to look at, and most more than a little chipped at the edges. Back home, one of the weirdest things I’d ever enjoyed spending my money on was dishes that had lines and shapes that appealed to me. Elegant, colorful dishes and bowls, wonderfully shaped and designed.

Some people collected shoes! Some people adored video games!

I, however, obsessed over _dishes_.

Such was my life.

Naruto was still in the doorway, watching me carefully.

“You ready to eat, little man?” I asked him, loading up the tray to take the food out to the table.

Naruto stood out of the way, and followed me like a trailing chick. He sat on the other side of the long, low, flat table that was the only other bit of furniture in the living room. I quickly set the food out.

“Go on, you can eat!” I encouraged him, and slowly he did, eating faster and faster, making loud “ _nomnomnom_ ” noises as he did. I laughed, but then faltered.

He ate as though he thought I – or anyone – would snatch away his food at any moment.

Naruto jerked back, nearly choking on his food.

“You’re on fire!” He stammered, and my eyes jerked down to my skin. Sure enough, flames licked down my pants, slowly turning them to ash.

“Fu- _frick_!” I managed to catch the swear in time – yet another thing I would have to worry about, with this whole raising a child thing – and reined in the fire enough to save my pants. I’d have to find something else to wear out and about, though.

“Ah, sorry, Naru-chan, that’s just something I can do. I can bend fire, it’s part of my _kekkei_ _genkai_ ,” I said to the boy. “Finish your breakfast, we’ll need to talk when you’re done.”

“ _Ke_ - _kek_ -what?” Naruto asked, the fear sliding away to curiosity now.

“ _Kekkei_ _genkai_ ,” I explained. “It means a bloodline limit. It refers to abilities passed along through the blood. You know the Uchiha Clan, right?”

“Yup. The matron kept complaining that she was supposed to marry them, but they didn’t want her and left her broke,” Naruto said with good humor. “How can one old hag marry a whole clan?”

I snorted, thinking about the pinched old woman I’d met last night. “She probably meant she was going to marry a man from the clan, though I find that unlikely. The Uchiha aren’t liable to let any woman who isn’t a trained kunoichi marry one of their sons, if they allow him to marry outside the clan at all. She was probably just being stupid.”

Naruto giggled. “Yeah, she’s kinda dumb. I dyed all her underwear pink, and then dyed her ugly chin hair pink, too!”

I choked with laughter. “No, are you kidding me?”

Naruto puffed up with pride. “She screeched for _hours_! She really doesn’t like me that much, and she kept trying to take Gama-chan away from me. She deserved it.”

“Gama-chan?”

In answer he held up his threadbare frog plush, and I laughed.

“Ah, I had been wondering what his name was.” In all seriousness, I reached out a hand and solemnly shook the frog’s leg in a facsimile of a handshake. “How do you do, Gama-chan.”

Naruto giggled helplessly this time, and I suddenly remembered that I had been trying to make a point.

Somewhere.

“Ah, as I was saying. Naru-chan, the Uchiha have an ability that has to do through their eyes, one that allows them to do strange things with it. To see things normal people shouldn’t be able to see, and stuff like that. Well, that ability is passed down through certain families within the Uchiha. My fire is…kinda, sorta like that,” I said, and manifested a ball of flame over my hand.

It had taken a long, long time to become adept enough to do that, but it was a particular joy of mine. I could hold my own fire in my own hands. Who wouldn’t be proud, or at least amazed, of such a thing?

Naruto _oooohed_ very loudly, and I vanished the flame. My palms suddenly seemed very cold and clammy, and my belly fluttered nervously.

“Are you finished eating, Naru-chan? I need to talk to you about some things,” I said soberly.

“Yeah, I’m all full,” he said, and made to push away his food. I held out a hand.

“Are you really, kiddo?” I asked him soberly, catching the way he still looked at what remained in his bowl. “You’re welcome to eat all you want as long as you don’t make yourself sick, you know.”

He gave me an uncertain look, before slowly pulling the bowl back, and continuing to eat.

“Now, Naru-chan, I, uh. Well. I was…oh, frick it all-Naruto, would you like to live with me?” I spat out the words, my fingers twisting in what remained of my pants. Naruto went still, stopping in the middle of pulling a bit of omelet to his mouth.

“I’d have to get some things in place, and prepare some things, but I could…I could do that. Maybe even adopt you, if the Hokage would let me,” I said lamely, trailing off as Naruto just stared at me.

He wasn’t saying anything.

Did…did he not want to stay with me?

I hadn’t even thought that would be a possibility. I was so consumed with the idea of ‘saving’ him, of taking care of him, and…and being a Good Samaritan, that I hadn’t even…

Christ Jesus, I was a fucking moron.

“N-Naturally I’m not pressuring you into doing anything you don’t want to!” I backtracked quickly, smiling weakly. “I can ask the Hokage to find another home for you, of course, if you’d rather-”

“Why?”

I stopped, and looked at Naruto, whose bottom lip was trembling.

“…why what, Naru-chan?”

The trembling grew even fiercer.

“You give me food ‘nd call me ‘Naru-chan’, and you like Gama-chan, and you don’t call me a _demon_ or a _freak_ or tell me I shoulda been drownded at birth. Why are you, why would you, I don’t get it-” He sniffled, and my heart ached.

I crawled around to the other side of the table, and hauled him into my arms.

“I’ll be honest with you, Naru-chan. I don’t have any family, or anyone to take care of, or anyone that I can really and truly love,” I said quietly, resting my head on his bright blond hair.

I didn’t remember my parents’ names. And I hadn’t made more than a cursory attempt at finding out more. The doors still remained firmly locked inside my head, and while I’d explored a great deal of the magnificent temple that was my mindscape, usually with Amaruq to guide me, I’d never bothered doing any more than jiggling the handles halfheartedly every once in a while.

It should have felt selfish. It should have felt selfish and cruel, but it didn’t.

The simple fact of the matter was that _I didn’t care_.

_-…“No, you’re not worldly enough ___. We just want to protect you, you understand?”_

_“Why can’t you just do what I say?”_

_“This is so simple to learn! I can’t believe you’re this dumb.”_

_“No, I’ll take care of that. Don’t worry about it.”_

_“Get off that damn computer before I break it, you idiot girl!”_

_“I feel like I’m going to die before you actually do anything with your life, and that scares me so much.”_

_“I can’t believe my brother and his wife are wasting all their time coddling you! My daughter is halfway through law school, and you just keep sitting on your ass thinking the world will continue handing itself to you on a platter and sending deviant pictures to other retarded freaks like you-”…-_

I didn’t interact with many people outside of Rie, Haruki, Inoichi-sama, the Hokage, Gai, Teuchi, and Moriko.

I’d been kept at length by the other librarians after word got out about Mayumi’s wanting me to replace Susumu. And I wasn’t from Konoha, for all I wore the Sarutobi symbol on my jacket as often as possible.

For all I was always welcome at Rie’s, I was still very much a goddamn foreigner. I would still be expected to-to bear fucking _children_. I was being trained how to murder people “For the Good of Mother Konoha”. My children would have to learn how to murder people.

But I never wanted to open the door on the names that lay locked up in my mind.

In Konoha, I may have been foreign and weird, but I was _someone_. I had a _purpose_. I had people who looked up when I passed and called my name, and told me I was welcome in their home.

Here, I wasn’t a fat freak with “deviant sexual appetites”.

Here, I was _Kaname Minori_ , the ‘girl’ who routinely had tea with the Hokage, who was on a first-name basis with the Yamanaka Clan Head, who had abilities and a motherfucking _kekkei_ _genkai_ on par with two of the Great goddamn Dōjutsu.

I was _important_ in a way I had never been and would _never be_ Back Home.

But.

I was kinda lonely, too.

I’d been lonely Back Home. Mom and Dad had been gone for so long, and I’d gotten used to it. Mom had been going to school to become a doctor, and Dad had been ‘rising through the ranks’ at work.

I’d gotten used to withdrawing inside my head for company, for my stories and pictures and with the manga I read. I’d gotten used to only making one or two friends, all of whom eventually left or got tired of me.

But I wanted something. I wanted something to care for, because the gods knew how tired my parents had gotten tired of it.

_-…“No, what I need from you is to actually accomplish something!” Mom cried, half angry, half resigned, and entirely done with everything, me most of all. “For fuck’s sake, you’re so needy!”…-_

I wasn’t capable of love, or at least I didn’t think I was. How many people had told me that, throughout my life?

But I had a _need_ to care for someone. A _need_ to have someone who needed me and looked up to me and someone I could take care of. Having someone who I could teach and care for and be needed by…that was a heady thought, especially on those days when I woke alone during the night.

On the days when the Badness came back and made me have to lock all the knives and medicines away, having someone who needed me, just _me_ , not the things that came with me…

It would help.

“I don’t have any family,” not here, anyway, “and I’d really like some. I’m pretty selfish, Naru-chan,” I admitted to the little boy. “And you needed a home, so it all just sorta…worked out.”

Naruto looked up at me, and I realized that the dullness that had plagued his blue eyes had faded away.

“You’re lonely?” he asked me.

“Yeah,” I said, and froze as Naruto reached up, and wrapped his arms around my neck.

“I’d like to stay with you,” his voice whispered against my neck. “I’ll be your family. Please?”

Something settled inside me, and I returned the hug.

* * *

I stepped out of Ichiraku Ramen, bidding goodbye to Teuchi as I did so.

The man was a literal _saint_ , even though we’d only known each other for a very short time.

He’d _willingly_ agreed to buy the things I needed as sort of a ‘middleman’, if the worst came to worse and I found myself at the wrong end of Konoha’s hatred of Naruto. He’d not even batted an eye when I’d mentioned I would be taking care of Naruto.

I was going to be spending so much money at Ichiraku’s to pay him back it wasn’t even funny.

At least the food was top notch.

Checking my watch and the sun’s position, I figured I had about an hour to get to the Sarutobi compound before my formal appearance before the Elders. I had enough time to head back home, drop off the rest of the things I’d bought, check on Naruto, and then get to the compound with a half an hour to spare.

I shifted the sack of rice on my shoulder, and checked my list. I’d bought everything I needed (peeking quickly into my bag to make sure that the gifts I’d bought for Naruto were still tucked safely away), and didn’t have any other errands to run.

“Minori-chan!”

I heard the call, and the smile split my face as I turned to greet Gai and-

Oh no.

My green suited sensei trotted over to me, looking for all the world as cheerful as an over exuberant Labrador Retriever. In Gai’s wake, focused on the damnably orange book in his hands, was a boy about the same age, maybe 19 or so, with spiky silver hair, jōnin attire, and a presence that I recognized with damnable clarity.

Hatake Kakashi.

AKA, that FUCKING ANBU _BITCH_ WHO’D BEEN STALKING ME FOR _MONTHS_.

Ever since I’d blown out that first jackass’s eardrums, I’d been on a rotating watch of ANBU. My abilities, or whatever I had, since I clearly couldn’t be a chakra sensor (Rie had promised to help work on finding out what the hell I was after I’d gained some mastery of my fire), made it all but impossible for them to hide from me.

So I’d taken to trolling the fuck out of them.

Once, I had sicced the ladies of the Akasen on one particularly condescending fucker who hadn’t even tried to hide himself properly, and they’d descended like sharks tasting blood in the water.

It had been _beautiful_ , and the Hokage had nearly lost it when I’d told him. I liked making Hiruzen-sama laugh, so that was an added bonus.

(I also never had to worry about that particular idiot ever again, which had been _great_ )

But then I’d been assigned an ANBU I couldn’t fucking pull one over.

I’d tried everything in the book, but nothing phased the goddamn asswipe, or caught him off guard. I’d caught sight of him once – and only once, which I had my suspicions that he’d done on purpose to piss me off even more – and I’d had my suspicions who he was, though nothing confirmed.

Now I did.

I also realized with a start that Hatake had been the one who had knocked me out in the hospital when I’d first woken up, and that he’d been watching me in the hospital, too.

My smile went a little sickly as the edges of his eyes smirked at me, though I couldn’t bear to look at him for long. It was taking all of my theater training to keep a straight face as it was.

Fucking ANBU _fucks_.

Wasn’t Kakashi supposed to be a trodden down, self-hating fuck-bag? Or a lazy-ass nonchalant pervert of a sensei? Well, he had the pervert part down, I thought, noting the orange book he held in one hand with utmost distaste.

(I’d been so disappointed to find out that _Icha_ _Icha_ was actually poorly written – at least by my standards. The sheer misogyny inherent in the books made me want to gag into the next life. And I never would have assumed that Jiraiya was notorious for his womanizing and brothel-visiting, because the man obviously had no goddamn clue how to write proper smut with women. I pitied the women he visited. Was the man even halfway good in bed?)

In any case, how long had it been since Kakashi had joined ANBU, anyway? Did things follow the manga timeline or the anime timeline? I seriously hoped it wasn’t the latter, because I knew _even_ _less_ about the anime than I did the manga.

And the manga timeline had been hard enough to follow in the first place.

Kakashi was probably still ass deep (AAAAAAH _BAD CHOICE OF WORDS_ ) in ANBU, by my reckoning.

Joy to the world.

“Gai-kun,” I said in greeting. Outside of training, I had been convinced by the cheerful man to call him by his first name. It hadn’t taken much persuasion, to be perfectly honest.

I liked being on friendly terms with Gai.

“My darling friend! I have persuaded my hip rival to come and meet you, so that he would better understand the trials of the Power of Youth!”

My smile became a little more real, even though I understood exactly fuck all of what Gai had just said.

“Well, normally I’d be glad to hang out with you, Gai-kun, but I’ve got a meeting I need to get to,” I said, shifting the bags I carried. “And I need to get this stuff back to my apartment before I do.”

“Hmm? And what meeting might that be?” Kakashi asked, sounding almost bored with everything.

“Clan business,” I said brusquely, not wanting to speak with him any longer than I had to. “I’ll talk to you later, Gai-kun.” I walked quickly away.

I remembered very clearly now why I’d limited my interactions with other people, beyond my small circle of friends and acquaintances. It wasn’t just from a lack of social skills.

It was because I straight up did not want to interact with people I’d fucking _seen naked_ at all.

…Look, I seriously had not been kidding when I’d said I was nerd of the highest order.

But I’d also been a _really_ _horny_ nerd of the first order, and some of my first views of a man’s penis were drawn pictures of Hatake Kakashi _bare-assed nude_.

The only reason I’d been able to, figuratively speaking, ‘keep it in my pants’ around Gai, was because I’d only ever seen pictures of him sans a shirt, if that. Gai (nor Lee!) had never appealed to fangirls, and so the Internet had been sadly lacking in Sexy Pictures of either of them.

It had been tragic for my Pint Sized and Horny Self back then, but now it was a goddamn lifesaver.

But Kakashi…

The sheer amount of goddamn porn I’d seen of him (a hysterical part of my mind gibbered _And Naruto too!_ before it was ruthlessly seized and obliterated by Jiao-long) was absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Even half a decade after I’d stopped being involved in the manga and the online community surrounding it, Hatake Kakashi’s ass and dick were still imprinted on the inside of my _eyeballs_.

…You know, maybe I just needed to stop thinking of Kakashi entirely.

With the skill I had perfected at the age of five, I quickly shunted all of the thoughts of the Annoying Bastard into my Mental Trashcan.

Right where he belonged.

* * *

It was well past midnight when I’d staggered home, physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted beyond belief. The meeting had only taken four hours, but it had been the talk with Hiruzen afterwards that had nearly killed me.

I’d passed my ‘examination’ with flying colors, and the Elders had presented me with a pendant bearing the Sarutobi Clan symbol on it. The metal and stone necklace now hung right beside my bronze Buddha, right over my chest.

But then the Hokage had taken me to a private room, where I’d pitched my offer to adopt Naruto.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

My offer to adopt him had been summarily shot right the hell down, because of ‘clan bias’ or somesuch bullshit. And I’d actually had to _negotiate_ for the right to let Naruto live with me.

I’d succeeded in that, at least.

I opened the door, wanting only to crash into my bed and not move for the next three years, when the Hokage’s words came flooding back to me.

_“Do you think you can take care of him? Even in the face of this village, and what he represents to them? Do you think you have the will to do so?”_

There was a noise, and Naruto fell off the couch as I entered.

“You’re back!” he said, and his face just _lit up_ at the sight of me.

He was excited that I was home. He was excited to see me. How pathetic, that such a tiny thing made me feel like I’d just won the Mega Millions lottery.

As I walked over to swing him into my arms, and to tell him he’d be staying with me, I remembered what I’d said back to the Hokage.

_“Just give me the chance to try. Who else will?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note, for everyone who is confused: **Minori is not a woman, and does not use she/her pronouns in reference to themselves.** I ask you to please respect Minori by using they/them pronouns (and their author, who does the same). 
> 
> Just because the rest of Konoha sees Minori as a woman, does not mean that _Minori_ does.


	7. ACT ONE - Ostracism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...exclusion by general consent from common privileges or social acceptance...]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please use they/them pronouns when referring to Minori. :D

* * *

The sun shone with a dazzling brightness in the almost offensively blue sky as I walked to the downtown area of Konoha, Naruto in tow. Whispers tracked along behind us, and though I couldn’t pinpoint just who said what, I heard plenty enough of it.

_“The demon’s whore…”_

_“How can the Hokage permit such a thing?”_

_“That foreign freak!”_

My mouth twisted into a scowl, and I brushed a hand over Naruto’s bright hair, keeping the motions gentle as I did so. _Defiantly_ gentle, in the wake of the filth I’d grown used to hearing in the past week.

I ducked out of the way as a rotten tomato was launched at my head from a well-dressed urchin, one who sneered at me when my eyes snapped to his position. My fingers tapped a soundless tune on the fabric of my bag, and I chuckled when flames set the boy’s feet to dancing.

Naruto’s hands curled in the fabric of my skirts, and I smiled down at him.

“Let’s get out of the foul air, eh, Naru-chan? Can’t be good for either of us, now can it?” My voice was loud and rang with deliberate insult through the air.

As I saw several people react to it – reddening faces, puffed up chests, clenched fists – I laughed and swung Naruto up, propping him on the hip that didn’t have my trusty bag resting against it.

I entered the park near my apartment, cutting through it rather than going by the residential area. It was part of my new routine for heading home after training with Gai, and allowed me to circumvent a great deal of the snide comments that had become a part of life.

“Minori.”

Haruki faded out of the shadows in front of me, and Naruto buried his face in my neck.

“It’s Kaname-san, shinobi-san,” I corrected, noting the way her eyes flicked to Naruto with a cold hate that I still was not used to.

Haruki blinked, and stared at me, looking shocked for a moment.

I nearly rolled my eyes. After the fight we’d had a few days ago, did she really expect anything different?

“Do you honestly think I would permit someone who tried to take my child away from me to remain on a first name basis with me?” I asked in a calm, outright polite tone. “Do you honestly believe, because I can’t think even _you_ would be that stupid, that someone went behind my back and accused a four year old of seducing me _to the Hokage_ would ever be permitted such liberties?”

“Minori, I was just-” Haruki’s face grew agitated, and if I wasn’t so enraged, I would have been amused at how flustered the normally stoic kunoichi was.

“I told you before, you are not my friend, and you no longer have a right to call me by my name. It is _Kaname-san_ , shinobi-san, and I expect you to address me as such. Good day to you,” I said, and made to move around her.

But she stepped back in front of me, and something went cold and trembling in my stomach. Fear fluttered like moths beating against my ribcage.

I did _not_ like being caged in.

“Minori…Kaname-san, I was just worried about you,” Haruki said, her eyes pleading.

I surreptitiously let Naruto slide down my side, and tucked him behind me. My flames danced right below my skin, ready for a fight.

“Worried about me? Don’t make me laugh,” I said flatly. “You were scared, and just using me as an excuse to overlook your own fears, let’s not get things mixed up here.”

“Caring for that demon, Min- _Kaname_ -san, you have to understand why I-” Haruki stopped and backed off.

I could feel flames at my hands, and flames coiling around my head, as the anger twisted inside me.

“Get the fuck away from us right fucking now, you goddamn coward.” I barely recognized the voice that echoed out of me. “Or I will kill you. Am I clear?”

It was as though a blind shuttered down over Haruki’s face, right on the heels of something that flashed like regret.

“You’re as much a demon as it is,” she spat, and my rage calmed in the face of her fear.

I smiled.

“Took you long enough to realize it. Now get the fuck away from us, _shinobi_.”

Haruki _shunshined_ away, and I rested a hand on Naruto’s head.

“Are you okay?” Naruto asked me, his eyes so blue and wide.

“I’m fine, Naru-chan. Just had to take out the trash,” I told him, and laughed.

If the sound was bitter, he didn’t comment on it.

* * *

“Y…You’re cutting back my hours.”

This meeting with Yamamoto Mayumi was going in a very different direction than my last one had. The woman had not an ounce of good will on her face, her dark eyes colder than ice.

 _You should have expected this,_ I chastised myself through the blank shock.

Hadn’t Matsuda called me a “stupid chit” when I’d messed up on shelving yesterday, when normally she would have corrected me and gone about her way? Hadn’t I heard the comments made in my wake by my co-workers?

And I knew that people had stopped coming into the Library since Naruto had started living with me.

But. But.

The Library – Back Home and here in Konoha – had been like my sanctuaries. I’d always been on good terms with the librarians, and it.

I just.

I didn’t _understand_.

(But the thing was, I did understand.)

“And you will be moved to the back of the library to work on restocking and such things. And of course, the privileges you were given will be revoked, and you will no longer be permitted to linger past normal opening hours,” Yamamoto said, her voice impeccably cool.

I swallowed the shock and the trembling anger.

“I understand, Yamamoto-san,” I said, just as coolly. “May I be dismissed?”

“Go,” the woman said, and I stood from my chair, and made for the door. But as my hand rested on the wood, I heard the old hag’s voice again.

“I had such high hopes for you, Kaname,” she said. “I had never believed someone like you would fall in with such a…bad crowd.”

I closed my eyes.

“Shows you never knew me at all,” I said with a studied calm, and left the room. As I trotted down the stairs, a very familiar voice called out to me.

“Hey, Minori-chan!” An arm was slung around my shoulders, drawing me close to a body that stunk of sweat, lust, and alcohol.

“Get your hand off me,” I snarled at Morioka Kunio.

The greasy haired man drew back with a mockingly wounded expression, his ridiculously thin lips spread in an expression of utterly fake hurt.

Men with thin lips were the most unattractive ever.

“Why, Minori-chan, you shouldn’t be so rude! After all, I did hear that you were having some trouble, and I just wanted to help you,” He said, with a lecherous smile.

I knew men like him. They were the worst of the worst, and always on the lookout for a desperate lay they could coerce into bed. Whether handsome or…more like Kunio, they were all the same.

Without Matsuda to protect me, and with the implicit disregard of the Head Librarian (not to mention the rest of Konoha), it was obvious Kunio thought I would be a desperate and insultingly easy lay.

Out of patience with everything, my normally long and rarely roused temper on a hair trigger, I _moved_.

I twisted out of the man’s grip, reached up and back, yanking his arm up behind his back. I slammed him forward, sending him crashing into the wall.

“Touch me again, and I will break every bone in your body, you stupid fuck,” I hissed.

I was tired and past of dealing with this sort of nonsense. And gods above, I would have to wait about a decade before any of it would change and these shitheads would see Naruto as the hero he truly was?

Fucking hell.

Kunio squealed in pain as I kept the pressure up on his arm. I made a vague mental note to tell Gai how well his lessons in how to escape an enemy hold had played out in real life, even though this rat wasn’t, say, an actual enemy shinobi.

I heard footsteps, and promptly released the rat. He fell to the ground and I stepped away. I walked down the rest of the stairs and out into the hallway, passing by Orino Kaori as I did so.

“Kaname-san!” she called, and I stopped, looking back at her. She shrank away as my eyes met hers.

“What is it, Orino-san?” I asked the woman who had taken over Susumu’s spot after he had left.

She looked a bit lost for a second. If I hadn’t still been boiling with rage, I would have taken a chance to smile at her and to set her at ease.

It hadn’t been easy for the very pretty woman, especially with Kunio fuming over her promotion, but she’d done it, and done it well. Any other day, I would have admired at that as I had always done.

But now, I was tired and angry and just a little disheartened.

“…Nothing, Kaname-san,” she said, and I continued on my way.

With my back turned, I didn’t see the way she sighed, and put a hand on her heart.

And I didn’t hear the whisper of “I’m sorry,” that followed in my wake.

* * *

“Teuchi-san, this is Uzumaki Naruto! He’s never had ramen before, and I thought it would be best to start him off with the best of the best!” I chirped.

Naruto, from his perch on my back, waved hesitantly at the man I had become good friends with.

Teuchi stopped, and looked at Naruto. Something flickered over his face, too fast for me to properly catch, but I did see curiosity before he smiled.

“Ah, welcome, Naruto-kun. Your Kaa-chan has told me a lot about you,” Teuchi said, and I could practically feel Naruto freeze up on my back.

I wasn’t doing much better, myself.

We hadn’t decided what name Naruto would call me, and it hadn’t been important, but-

Jesus H. Christ, this felt weird.

 _Why are you so surprised?_ Amaruq asked. _You care for him, and considering all you have done to protect him, including the agreement you have entered in with him, it is a reasonable thing to assume._

 _At least he’s not calling you Naru-chan’s Tou-chan!_ Dorje said cheerfully. _I’d’ve decked someone if they tried to call me that!_

Teuchi was watching me carefully. “Are you all right, Minori-kun?”

I took a deep breath, feeling Naruto’s fingers curl into my shirt.

 _In for a penny, in for a pound,_ I thought, and my own fingers trembled.

“What sort of K-Kaa-chan would I be, if I didn’t show my own son the best ramen in all of the Land of Fire, eh?” I said with a shaky smile.

Teuchi’s smile grew. “I hope you’ll become as good a customer as your Kaa-chan is, Naruto-kun!” he said as I sat Naruto on the stool next to mine.

But the moment I sat beside him, he leaned into my side.

“What ramen would you like, Naru-chan?” I asked softly, feeling more than a little raw on the inside, and knowing that Naruto was feeling much the same. “I normally get tonkatsu ramen, but I think you might like miso. How does that sound?”

Naruto nodded shyly, and I wanted to sigh. Poor kid.

Even after a week with me, his clinginess wasn’t showing any signs of abating.

I certainly didn’t mind, but when placed alongside the ever-lingering images of the loud prankster I was accustomed to thinking of whenever I thought of _Uzumaki Naruto_ , it was a bit jarring. To say the least.

 _Just give him time,_ Abhaidev rumbled. _He is still young, and you are his only stable anchor in an unstable sea. He will find himself, and find his path in turn._

I sure hoped so.

 _Shouldn’t Amaruq be the one with the water themed adages?_ I asked with returning good humor.

There was a sound of protest from deep within my mind, and I chuckled.

“Something funny?” Teuchi asked, and I shook my head.

“Just remembered something. So, Naruto, how is it?”

Naruto gave me a starry-eyed look. “It’s the best!”

Teuchi laughed. “Good to hear it, kiddo. Want another bowl?”

“Can I, K-” my pint-sized bratling stumbled over the word, “Kaa-chan? Can I?”

I had to start watching my money like a hawk. I had to really start watching my money, in the wake of my hours being decimated by that old hag, while I was searching for another job to supplement my pay.

But.

I looked at Naruto, and he had a little bit of noodle still clinging to his cheek. His eyes were bright and huge with enjoyment, and I realized that this was the first time I’d seen him smile without shadows.

Exasperation, amusement, lingering bits of anger, fear, pain, and something warm and overwhelming all churned together in my belly, making it impossible to do anything but smile back at him.

“One more bowl, and that’s all,” I told him, and grinned at Teuchi when Naruto cheered.

* * *

I carried Naruto home amidst the scornful looks, and Naruto’s face was wet against my neck as someone called “Whore!” as we passed.

“Why do they say those things to you, Kaa-chan?” he asked.

“People are pretty dumb, Naru-chan, especially when they don’t understand something,” I told him, feeling weary all the way to my marrow.

“I’ll make them stop,” he said, much later, as I was tucking him into the brand new bed I’d bought for him, and cursed and swore over in the room off the bathroom. The room that had Gama-chan and Jinbe-chan (a whale shark I was pretty sure Naruto liked just because _I_ adored it) and all of his new toys sitting proudly on the shelves. The room with the orange lamp that was a little dented, but had rather sloppy stencils of green frogs on it.

“Make who stop, Naru-chan?” I asked, a little distracted from the midst of the tale of how Monkey D. Luffy saved the mystical land of Skypiea.

(It wasn’t as though I knew many stories as well as I knew _One Piece_ , after all. And a growing kid deserved lots of stories. After all, that was how I’d grown up, with all the stories Mom had told me.)

“The people who say bad things. I’ll make them stop.”

I stopped and looked down at him, and what I saw in his blue eyes made me pause.

“I’ll become the Hokage, and they’ll all realize how stupid they were to hate us,” Naruto said, with determination in every word. His eyes shone with it, and I felt something far deeper than I’d ever felt when this child had just been a picture on a page.

“It’ll take a lot of work,” I said instead, and Naruto promptly clambered up onto my lap.

“I can do it, Kaa-chan. I’ll be a hero like Luffy!”

He was just so earnest, and so _determined_ about it, that I could feel my eyes growing wet.

“Heh,” I chuckled, and buried my face in his soft hair. “I know you can, Naru-chan.”

* * *

“Welcome back, Naruto-chan!” Rie called out, and Naruto’s face lit up as Rie’s children Junichi, Osamu, and Naoko poured out from behind their mother’s skirts.

I let him slide down, to be tackled by the exuberant children and promptly born off to go on some adventure in the backyard of the Oono family compound.

Rie had welcomed Naruto with open arms, and it had been with her and her children that Naruto had found a temporary home for when I was out working or training.

Junichi, Osamu, and Naoko possessed exactly none of the fear and bias that other children in the village had been taught by their parents. Naoko, the defacto leader among her brothers and the servants’ children they ran amuck with, had taken to the much younger Naruto with zeal.

I knew that the three had been ostracized themselves, for the color of their skin.

With the Hyūga Incident still in the hearts and minds of the people of Konoha, any person who even remotely looked like a Kumo-nin (meaning anyone with dark skin) was treated with suspicion and sometimes outright contempt, though Rie’s longstanding years of service to the village gave her some leeway.

And she also had her deceptively quiet husband to protect her.

One hand wrapped around my shoulders, Rie led me into the living room, and I could have groaned in relief as the lovely air-conditioned coolness swept over me.

Even though it was leading into October, Konoha could still get hot as absolute balls some days. Shouldn’t have being a damned firebender removed some of my aversion to heat? It was annoying.

“My love, guess whose come to visit,” Rie called out, pushing open the sliding door.

“Ah, Kaname-kun!” Oono Akihiro sat in the living room, a cup of tea on the table in front of him, along with several sheaves of paper he had been pouring over. He gave Rie a long kiss when she bent over him, and kissed her hand when she placed it on his cheek.

My friend moved out of the room, with a promise to bring more tea in a little bit.

The textile merchant was an ordinary looking fellow for a resident of Konoha and the Land of Fire, with long brown hair pulled neatly back, dark brown eyes, pale skin, and soft hands. His clothing was neat and expensive, made of silk and embroidered tastefully.

Few people realized just how dangerous the man lying behind those kind eyes actually was.

The missing fingers on his impeccably cared for hands were the first clue I’d had that this was not just some soft merchant.

The way he defended his wife from people who made rude comments was yet another.

“So,” I said, taking my seat across from him, as I had done every Wednesday, at this same exact time, for the past two months. “Who have you driven to bankruptcy today, Akihiro-sensei?”

The man chuckled politely. “Why, you think so _little_ of me, Kaname-kun. I’ve done nothing of the sort.”

“So you’re going to do it tomorrow, then?”

He smirked. “That’s not polite, Kaname-kun.”

I smirked right back. “Am I wrong?”

He _tsk_ ed, and set aside the papers.

“So, Kaname-kun, I’ve heard that you have been having some difficulties at work.”

My mouth turned down at the edges, despite my best efforts.

“Putting it a bit mildly, aren’t you?” I said in a very mild sort of tone.

I had been on the receiving end of what felt like the puerile middle-school bullying campaign from hell, courtesy of Kunio and his cronies, and some idiots that had easily bowed to his posturing. Nails on my seat, books being outright destroyed, nasty rumors galore, my clothes being ruined by paint and less pleasant things, and the fucking sexual harassment.

My fire had nearly gotten out of control at least twice, though thankfully that had put an end to the outright sexual harassment. The comments and lecherous sneers on everything from my weight to how good I had to be in bed – _“because fat bitches have to be good in bed, elsewise no one’ll fuck em!”_ – had not ceased, no matter how many flames I knocked around.

I’d heard someone saying that Yamamoto even approved of it, considering she thought I needed to be taken down a peg or two or better yet, run out of the Library entirely. Rumor or not, I had been utterly pissed. And my pride, as hidden as it was, had been severely damaged.

I would stick it out and shove my success in all of those jackasses’ faces.

(Though if I had another job, one that was better, that would be…that would be even better a thing. The best revenge was living well, after all.)

Akihiro’s face was a study in quiet patience and worry as I looked back up at him.

“Have you not found another job?” He asked.

“I’ve been looking but it’s…difficult,” I said quietly.

I had been taking some money in on the side by watching Ayame, Teuchi’s daughter, some days, but that was only occasional work at best. I had been looking for other jobs, at restaurants, every single store in Konoha, even caretaking jobs.

I’d even gone to Moriko, to see if she would know a job that I could apply for.

My fingers tightened on my pants as I remembered just how that conversation had gone.

_-…“Perhaps you would be better suited at a brothel, girl, since the life of a noblewoman is obviously beyond you. I was willing to entertain your deviancy in regards to my daughter, but it seems-”_

_The tea set crashed to the ground, the table overturned in an instant as I shot to my feet. No. This was the final straw._

_I was not going to sit here and let her berate me, just because she didn't approve of me adopting Naru-chan!_

_“How about you go fuck yourself, you overblown hag?” I shot out, and had the utmost satisfaction of watching her face go milk-white in shock_

_“Why I never-”_

_“I don’t have to put up with this, and I sure as hell don’t have to put up with you,” I said. “Thank you for the training, but I feel like our time together has come to an end.”_

_Fire danced at my fingertips._

_“You stupid girl, you need me-”_

_“Need you? Need_ you _?” I laughed. The thought was hysterical. “I don’t need you, and your idiotic lessons. I put up with you and your thrice-cursed noblewoman’s training because I didn’t think I had another choice. But I do. And you can go hang, you fucking bitch.”_

_I whirled out of the room, haloed in fire._

_The people before me parted like the Red Sea before the hands of Moses, and I smiled as I strode past them.…-_

I was still rather darkly pleased at the thoughts of how that meeting had gone.

Sure, it had essentially pissed off every single Sarutobi except for the Hokage, but it had been loads of fun.

The merchant sighed.

“You certainly don’t make things easy on yourself, do you, Kaname-kun?”

I shrugged. “Maa, if the rest of the world simply stopped being stupid as all hell, maybe I could, then.”

“I may actually have a job for you, Kaname-kun, if you’d be interested. I have a relative working there now, and I know her boss is known for being accepting, as far as shinobi can be accepting.”

“Oho?” I leaned back, my eyebrows raising, and grinned at Rie as she set a can of sweet juice down in front of me.

“Stop trying to corrupt Kaname-kun, Akihiro,” Rie scolded teasingly, and Akihiro laughed.

“Why, my darling, I’m doing nothing of the sort,” he said. “You know my cousin’s sister-in-law?”

“I have no idea who you’re talking about,” Rie said wryly. “I don’t have your memory for names.”

“Just for chemicals, right?”

“Shush, you.”

“As cute as the two of you are, I am rather curious about this job offer, Akihiro-sensei,” I interrupted.

Honestly, these two were like high-school sweethearts. I hoped that – if I ever got married – I could have something like that.

(Preferably with someone who had more of Rie’s shape than Akihiro’s, but in a place like Konoha, that was doubtful.)

“Ah, yes. Kaname-kun, I have a relative who works with the _Kōshō Buntai_. I’d be willing to vouch for you, if you’d like to meet with her,” Akihiro said.

I blinked.

“The…Negotiations Squad?” I said, feeling a bit confused.

“Technically they’re known as the _Kiki to Kin'yū Kōshō-bu_ , but they use the shorter name for expediency’s sake. Minori, they negotiate with other villages, and when important missions need a re-ranking and change of parameters, and in similar situations. They also are occasional liaisons to the Daimyō, I do believe,” Rie said, and looked at Akihiro. “My husband, are you sure?”

The…Crisis and Financial Negotiations Section?

I’d sure as hell never heard of that before.

“They would do well there, I am certain. And with Kaname-kun as a _Kōshōjin_ , they would find themselves nigh untouchable. Also, those who have shinobi training are preferred, so they have that as another advantage,” Akihiro said, and turned to me. “Would you be willing to talk with Azami, Kaname-kun? She would explain more than I can.”

I blinked again, then shrugged. What the hell. “Sure. Can I take Naru-chan?”

If I was really going to do this, I would make damn sure _going in_ that there would be no stupidity – if I even got the job in the first place.

And was this _Kōshō Buntai_ like the FBI Crisis Negotiation Unit that I remembered from Back Home?

Neat stuff.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Azami’s boss is…well, rather different,” Akihiro said wryly.

What did I care?

If it got me away from the Library, if it got me out of sight of the jackasses that comprised 90% of this town’s population, if it gave me enough to continue providing for Naruto, if it gave me back my sense of pride in my work – the man could be this world’s version of Doflamingo Donquixote, and I wouldn’t have batted an eye.

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “It’s not like I’m probably ever going to be of importance to him, after all.”

* * *

_He is interested in the girl._

_So sue him._

_He convinces himself that it is because she is an unknown and that even the Yamanaka Clan head had been unable to find out much about her. He convinces himself that it is because of her powers, and her ability to troll practically every ANBU assigned to her almost to tears._

_He does not think about the way she holds Minato’s son when he has nightmares, the way she defends him when the villagers sneer at them both, the way she cares for him. As he cannot._

_(_ Will _not, to be more accurate – but he does not think about that)_

 _It is_ fascinating _, to see how the girl reacts. How the girl tries to prank him and fumes when she fails._

_(He does not think about the way she laughs, the light gilding her dark hair like it had done with Obito’s, the way she smiled at Gai like Rin had – quiet amusement and nothing spiteful.)_

_The Hokage smiles knowingly when he reports, and Wolf grows hot under his collar – almost_ flustered _, he might think, but surely not. Not him. Not he who has been in ANBU since he was fourteen, not he who is an ANBU Captain._

_He is better than that._

_A small part of him - one that sounds like Minato and Rin and maybe even a little bit like his father – says_ you are jealous of her _. It says too,_ you are fascinated by her _.  It says last,_ you wish you could-

_But he pushes it down, pushes it away as he has gotten so good at doing._

_The Hokage tells him once more that if she is a threat to Konoha – to Naruto – that she must die. If she does this solely to influence Naruto, she must be removed._

_He will. He will kill her without a thought. Then he will go home and wash his hands of her blood, if it comes to that._

_And he will not think of the girl who reminds him of Rin and Obito, who sings to Minato’s son like he can vaguely – so distantly – remember his father doing for him. He will not._

(But you do.)


	8. ACT ONE - Impetus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[…the force that makes something happen or happen more quickly…]_

* * *

_…“Why did you befriend Naruto?” Inoichi asks, as though he’s searching for an ulterior motive._

_The scene flickers again and I’m standing back on the street. I’m seeing the matron who tells me Naruto should have been murdered as a baby, I’m seeing the ribs in his chest when I dress him in overlarge clothes that are worn and torn even as he looks up at me like I’m a gift from the gods themselves._

_I’m hearing the comments of whore and freak and demon and fag and I’m flashing back to my childhood and the later years, and I’m kneeling in front of a friend’s grave and I feel like I could die of my grief-_

_He didn’t even have a proper symbol of his mother’s people you bastards left him alone how_ dare _you accuse me when you couldn’t even be assed to care for the son of the hero of this godforsaken village!_

_Inoichi’s hands curl like knives, stabbing into the fragile, fleshy parts of my mind, and he says “How do you know-”_

_There are tears pouring down my cheeks, and I whirl on him and he backs away._

_“He is just a child and you fucks all hate him! He’s o-only a child!” I scream, but I can’t step forward._

_The chains wrapping around me tighten until I’m gagging, choking and twisting frantically. I wail._

_I wonder if this is what it’s like to be a bijū, chained and bound and unable to move, and for a moment I feel like I understand far too well Kurama’s unending hatred of humanity. Because while what’s in me is only a shadow of his, it is still_ there _, still angry and raging and so goddamn tired-_

_I hang in my chains, and my eyes burn but the tears are unable to fall. It could have been days, how long he’s kept me here, forced to relive every torment over and over again while he searched for any hint of treasonous activity._

_“Please god, just kill me I can’t do that again,” I plead, looking up at Inoichi._

_There is something on Inoichi’s face, something regret and pain and sorrow. He steps forward, his hand outstretched-_

_And then something says, in a voice that echoes endlessly around us:_

**THAT IS ENOUGH.**

_The vision snaps, and I hear Inoichi’s gasp of shock, and I am falling, tumbling free._

_I hit soft ground and everything goes dark._

* * *

I didn’t wake up until many days later.

When I did finally wake, Naruto was curled into my side, his eyes red with dried tears.

I lay in the dark coolness of the sound-proofed room, deep within the Yamanaka compound, feeling violated and angry and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Three days I’d spent trapped within the hell of my own memories.

Three days of Inoichi going over every square of inch of what he could get at in my head, while my companions worked double time to prevent what I truly knew from getting out.

_Three fucking days._

No wonder I felt like I’d gotten run over by a truck.

When I’d asked for permission to apply as a negotiator, it had been ordered by several higher-ups (one of whom I thought might have been the Hokage), and the boss of the _Kōshō Buntai_ that I undergo a more thorough interrogation by Inoichi. Normally there were simple psych evaluations and interviews and background checks for those who wanted to apply, but since I technically hadn’t existed beyond this year, I had been…encouraged to do this.

It also allowed the Hokage and the council to verify why I had truly taken Naruto in, because _obviously_ no person in their right mind would undergo such ostracism from the entire village and put up with being viciously harassed if they couldn’t get _something_ out of it.

_Obviously_.

…I may have been just the tiniest bit bitter.

But what else was I supposed to do? The Hokage could have me killed very easily, or take Naruto away, or hand me over to T&I or even _Danzō_ , god forbid. This wasn’t a democracy, like Back Home had at least pretended to be.

This was a village ruled by a military junta (albeit one that was much nicer than most) and until I got power enough to be considered untouchable, I was shit out of luck.

Hadn’t that already been made clear to me when I’d been escorted to the Yamanaka compound? The idea that I should have been damn grateful for all the things I had been graciously given had been quite shoved into my face when I had tried to protest.

I stroked Naruto’s golden hair as I stared at the ceiling, and felt Jiao-long stir inside me. The others were slowly working to shove the memories that had been wrenched out into the open back in their proper containers, dulling the pain as much as they could.

_Jiao-long,_ I said to her. _This can’t happen again. I’ll go mad if it does._

_Then we must become a force to be reckoned with_ , Jiao-long said soberly.

_How do I do that? Few people would want to marry me now that I have Naruto, so that way isn’t an option. At least for now._

_Then you must rise through the ranks. Where better to find connections and allies out in the world, than as a negotiator? Where better to make people understand what you are capable of doing, than as someone who holds some part of the financial future of this village in their hands?_ Jiao-long said, and she was smiling cruelly. _We will have_ power _, and we will make this godforsaken world change in ways that idiot descendant of that_ moron _never could have even dreamed of._

_And those fools will regret enacting this horror on us._

My mouth trembled as tears began to slick down my cheeks.

Memories flickered in front of my eyes, and I heard Dorje’s curses as they chased after them, trying to lock them back and away.

I rubbed my forehead.

_Sarutobi should be paying more attention to the traitors inside his own village, instead of trying to make new ones_ , I thought bitterly. _Because god damn, if I had the temperament and drive, I would have turned on this village in an_ instant _after going through that._

It was a sobering thought, to realize just how much _hate_ had been festering inside me since I’d taken Naruto in. It was even more sobering to realize just how much I truly hated this village.

How much I hated _all_ shinobi villages.

The indoctrination that preached that being an emotionless glorified murderer was the thing to aspire to from childhood, the villagers who blindly hated the children who’d been forced to become hosts to beings who were thought of as weapons, the sheer stupidity of those who did their best to create monsters, but then turned around and wondered why a prodigy wouldn’t stay loyal or a jinchūriki might go mad.

I hated it all of it. So much.

I thought of the jinchūriki in my memories, of their faces wrought and torn and dead, reanimated by the cursed jutsu of that moron Tobirama. I thought of their bodies, lying broken on the ground, forgotten and unloved, unmourned by their villages.

They had been weapons, and when the ones who controlled them had finished with them, so they were cast aside.

I thought of my son, who was despised, even though he was a goddamn living replica of the Yondaime and Kushina. How could people be so stupidly blind to the truth that was all but shoved in their face? How could those who knew the Yondaime and Kushina ever look at Naruto and willingly leave him in a goddamn _orphanage_? For fuck’s sake, Uchiha Mikoto had _seen_ Kushina when she was pregnant! It wasn't like people hadn't known or anything.

How the fuck did people not _realize_? How could people not _care_?

Maybe I could understand why no clan had adopted him – that clan bias bullshit that had prevented me from doing the exact same – but gods, how hard could it have been to pay for his clothes, or to maneuver things so that Naruto could be placed with a sympathetic civilian? Fucking Christ, it was so simple that I could have done it.

It still burned at me, the knowledge that the first person beyond the Hokage who had shown Naruto an ounce of love had been _me_.

A foreigner, someone who literally had not been born in the goddamn Elemental Countries, and I’d been the first person to tell him he was worthy of love and affection and family.

No one else had bothered to, and that was a maddening thought.

Memories flickered like moths – “ _You’re a freak of nature! Get away from my child!_ ” – and I thought about the way Haruki had used to smile at me, kind of shy and soft, before the hate had replaced it.

The tears came faster, no matter how I tried to wipe them away. So I gave up and let them come, biting my lip to prevent the wail that wanted to escape.

I was so goddamn tired.

I wanted my Mom.

For the rest of the night, I stared up at the ceiling, my mind burning with lingering resentment and a sort of endless, terrible grief that wasn’t entirely mine.

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes.”

There were bruises under my eyes. I hadn’t slept in days.

(Because whenever I closed my eyes, I felt fingers worming their way into my brain, trying to find my secrets. I felt knives burrowing under my flesh. I just wanted it to fucking _stop_.)

I watched the hair fall down around their face as Teuchi cut the strands away, his grip on the scissors as sure and competent as they were with cooking utensils.

And I smiled for the first time since I’d woken up in the compound.

* * *

I stood before a small, two-story building to the west of Konoha’s Aviary, a scroll in one hand.

Brushing a hand over my clothing – a subtle blue tunic with black bands at the cuffs, and black slacks – I touched the Buddha pendant and Sarutobi insignia hanging at my neck, and took a deep breath.

With Jiao-long steadying my nerves, I pushed open the door and stepped inside the building that housed the _Kiki to Kin'yū Kōshō-bu_.

Cool air rushed to meet me, and I sighed in quiet relief. I was so looking forward to whatever passed for winter in this village, because even the lingering heat that trailed into autumn was nigh unbearable.

The room was small, and looked more like an upscale doctor’s office than the headquarters of a Crisis Negotiation Unit. The floors were a warm wood paneling, while the walls had been painted a tasteful brown that was lightened by the placement of a few watercolors along the walls. The only furniture in the room was a small arrangement of sofas and chairs placed along the wall at both my left and right sides.

At the far end of the room, there was a window over a desk, beyond which was a small office of some sorts – just like a doctor’s office – where a very pretty man dressed in almost offensively neat clothing waited. As I approached, his eyes shot up to mine. They were a beautiful shade of brown that I might have called tawny, if we’d actually been in a cheesy romance novel.

“Kaname Minori, am I right?” he said, his teeth flashing into a wide smile. It was just as pretty as the rest of him.

Other people might have felt the urge to either flirt or get jealous in the face of the man’s good looks.

But all I could think was that his smile paled in comparison to Gai’s, and made me feel utterly sick in a way my ridiculous teacher’s effusive grin never had. But I smiled back, as polite as anything, and bowed.

“Correct. I am here for a meeting with Atsushi Makoto-sama regarding the possibility of my employment,” I said, my voice soft and respectful.

Those impeccably lined eyebrows winged up.

“ _Sama_? Well, Makoto’s _really_ going to like you,” he said. “I’m Watanabe Rokuro-”

A door inside the man’s office crashed open, and a woman stepped into my view. She was curvy and blonde in a way that would have caused car crashes back home – and going from the confident swing of her hips, she was _well aware_ of every inch of her beauty.

“Rokuro, is the fresh meat here yet?” she barked out, her brash voice a startling contrast to the rest of her, and Rokuro sighed.

“Yes, Azami, if you’ll turn your head two inches to the right, you’ll see she has,” he said, long-suffering.

“Oho?” The woman – this must be Akihiro’s Oozora Azami, the one distantly related to him – snapped her head to the side, and a borderline disturbing gleam appeared in her dark brown eyes.

“Good morning,” I said warily.

“Wow, you’re a cutie!” Azami chirped, and then she was over the table, her arms outstretched for a glomp that would likely break my back. I staggered back, ready to dodge – but Jiao-long’s will snapped through me, snapped _into_ me, and I was moving before the thought was even complete.

My hand shot up, latching onto her wrist, while the other snagged her belt. I pivoted on a heel, using the woman’s momentum to aide me, and loosed my grip. Azami careened across the room, screaming, and crashed headfirst into the leather couch I’d walked past when I’d first entered.

With a mighty splintering noise, the furniture crumpled beneath her, sending debris and dust into the air.

“I do _not_ like being touched without permission,” I hissed, my blood pounding in my ears.

There was silence for a long moment, a stillness while the knowledge of what I’d just done filtered in, along with the niggling comprehension that I’d probably just shot myself in the foot in terms of getting a job.

Then, laughter.

I looked behind me to see Rokuro bent over double, laughing hysterically. He clung to the desk, tears streaming from his eyes, barely able to remain somewhat upright.

“Oh by the _Sage_ ,” he wheezed, knuckling the tears away. “We’re keeping her even if I have to threaten Makoto himself, _ahahahaha!_ ”

Tendrils of frustrated annoyance snaked through me, and I straightened up.

“I _really_ should be meeting with Atsushi-san now, Watanabe-san,” I said, managing to keep my voice polite.

Rokuro managed to get upright, still sniggering. “Take the door to your right, and I’ll take you up to his office. Azami, clean that up, will you?”

“Oh come _on_ , Watanabe, I have to finish that-”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before trying to tackle someone who’s been trained by that green weirdo?” Rokuro said, smirking at her.

Something quietly snapped behind my eyes. I was out of patience with all of this nonsense, and with this blatant _idiocy_. I still didn’t forget that the people in charge of this place had been responsible for the mind rape I’d undergone.

“He’s not a weirdo,” I said, my voice snapping colder than ice. “He’s one of this village’s strongest, most loyal, and most _noble_ shinobi. Show him the respect he deserves.”

Silence curled out, like a string pulled so tight that tension ached off it. Rokuro’s eyebrow raised, and something I couldn’t catch flashed through his eyes.

“…I apologize, Kaname,” he said, just a tad subdued.

“Thank you, Watanabe-san,” I said, keeping the bite out of the words. “The door to my right, did you say?”

He nodded, and I approached the door. It opened easily, soundlessly, and I stepped onto a carpeted hallway that further reminded me of a doctor’s office. As I let the door swing shut behind me, the door to my left opened, and Rokuro stepped out.

The rest of him was as beautiful as his face, I noted distantly.

“This way, Kaname,” he said, and I followed him down the hallway. I could hear faint voices behind the wall to my left, and figured there must be more offices, or perhaps a meeting room.

Rokuro pushed open the door at the end of the hall, and led me up a flight of stairs. At the top, he pushed open another door, and led us out onto the top floor of the building. While the lower level had given me the impression of a doctor’s office, this reminded me of an office building-

_…I followed the woman along, my face kept to the floor, as we passed countless cubicles. People peered out at us, some of them more than likely wondering who ‘the new girl’ was._

_I did not let the bright blush of embarrassment flare to my cheeks when I heard someone mention something about my getting into the company because my mother knew the boss. And I very determinedly did not cry when I heard the first of what would likely be many rude comments about my weight…_

-And the faces poking out from the large cubicles we passed were just as familiar as the rest of it.

Even with memories casually poking into my spine, I kept my head up, my back straight, and my face blandly polite. It would not do to shoot myself in the foot any more than I _already_ had.

Rokuro knocked on the door of the office at the end of the room. A male voice – calm, a bit impatient – spoke.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Rokuro, Makoto-san,” my guide said. “I have the new kid, Kaname.”

“Ah, come in.”

Rokuro pushed open the door, and ushered me inside. The room was a fairly expansive one, with bookshelves lining the walls. A massive desk dominated the far side, with several plush leather chairs in front of it. To my right was a window that gave a pleasant view of Konoha, and to my left was a window that allowed the people inside this room to see out over the various cubicles.

But then my attention was drawn to the man sitting behind the desk.

“You’re dismissed, Rokuro,” Atsushi Makoto said, and stood. He was tall, a willowy man, with a very handsome face cut in pleasingly angular lines, his very demeanor as smooth and elegant as the brown hair twisted into a knot at the back of his neck. He didn’t much look like a shinobi from the outside, but his chakra…

I could feel the knife-sharp edge of it, hidden beneath some strangeness I suspected were very well made seals.

This man put a great deal of effort into disguising the fact that he was a shinobi.

And a very dangerous one, too.

“Aw, I can’t stay and watch you grill her?” Rokuro pouted, and Makoto smirked, his teeth a flash of white.

“No, you minx. Get out,” Makoto teased. Rokuro stuck his tongue out, but left, closing the door behind him.

It was a rather unexpected dynamic, and I don’t know how successful I was at keeping the surprise off my face. Was everyone here quite so…lax with one another?

Frankly, I had expected something a bit more formal.

Makoto gestured at the seats in front of him.

“Take a seat, Kaname, I won’t bite.”

I did so, folding my hands over my lap as he sat as well.

“So, the Hokage has recommended that you be allowed to join my department, Kaname,” Makoto said, folding his hands behind his head. “Generally I’m not one for acts of nepotism, but since you already went through all that hassle with the Yamanaka, it would just be _insulting_ to not give you a shot.”

His smile was patronizing and just slightly cruel, and it took every bit of strength I had in me to keep from snarling. But there was something about the way he watched me far too carefully.

As though he was looking for a reaction.

_This is a test, isn’t it?_ I asked Jiao-long, and her approving smile curled through me like the sun.

“Naturally the Hokage would _only_ have recommended me because of favoritism,” I said softly, smiling respectfully at him. “Certainly not because he thought I would be an asset to the department. _Naturally_ you would know far better than he, Atsushi-sama.”

_That stung_ , I thought with an inwardly victorious burst of laughter as Makoto’s eyes narrowed just a bit.

“How should I trust that the mother of… _that child_ …will be a good influence among my people?” Makoto said, his voice holding just the right amount of scorn to really piss me off.

_Right for the damn jugular, then?_ I thought as I fought to keep my composure under control. This was a very blunt line of questioning, considering I had been expecting something far subtler…

But maybe that was the point? It caught me off-guard.

_Make him pay_ , Jiao-long hissed, and I felt Amaruq, Dorje, and Abhaidev behind me.

“I’m not entirely sure why a _four-year-old child_ is of such grave concern to you, Atsushi-sama,” I replied, feeling an entirely fake smile slide onto my lips. “But if you feel that having a single mother among your people is such a… _imposition_ , I’ll remove myself immediately.” I pressed a hand to my heart, affecting an expression of utmost concern.

“You should know that the rumors I’ve heard about you, Kaname, are less than pleasant.”

“And I expect they’ve only become more virulent since I adopted my son. But then again, what can you expect from such close-minded persons? …Though I must admit, I did expect better from a shinobi as distinguished as you, _Atsushi-sama_ ,” I said, and _there_ was the surprise I was looking for.

It flicked across his face like lightning, but I’d caught it.

“Shinobi? You’re mistaken, Kaname.”

I smiled at him. “Oh, of course. Pardon my impudence, I should have realized that you wouldn’t like me to speak that information out loud. Isn’t your department founded on absolute secrecy, after all?”

His eyes widened, and his composure dropped. Tension fizzled in the air, and I knew I’d hit the nail right on the head.

_Atsushi Makoto had been ANBU_.

“Kaname, there’s a line there,” he warned, and my smile gained an edge of cruelty.

“Why should that be of a concern to me? You’ve already crossed several of my own personal lines, Atsushi-sama, why should I extend that courtesy to you?”

Makoto leaned back, and I saw something like wary respect in his eyes.

“You’re not very good at these job interviews, are you, Kaname?”

I shrugged. “If you were giving me an actual interview, instead of testing on how much a grip I have on my emotions, perhaps I would have done a sight better,” I offered.

“You’re a cool customer, Kaname,” Makoto said after a brief moment, a smile tugging at his lips.

I smiled. “I try my best, Atsushi-sama.”

Would this be the part where it went to subtle questioning, now?

He snorted. “So, tell me, why us? Why did you decide to try?”

“I want a job that challenges me, as cliché as that may sound,” I told him somewhat frankly. “And I would much appreciate a job where I wouldn’t be forced to deal with puerile harassment for petty reasons.”

“It’s not so entirely petty, Kaname,” Makoto said, his eyes dark and unreadable once more.

“Konoha has apparently taken exception to my adopting a _four year old_ orphan, Atsushi-sama,” I said bluntly, amused at how he was trying to edge around it. “I have been harassed, belittled, sexually assaulted, and had my belongings ruined. And all of this occurred because I have simply adopted a child. I do believe _that’s_ rather petty, isn’t it?”

Christ, people were just absolute _morons_ about this whole jinchūriki business, weren’t they?

Then I caught sight of something in Makoto’s eyes that surprised me out of my disgusted annoyance.

Approval.

“I agree, Kaname. So you want this job to protect you, and your son?”

“If that’s at all possible. I know I will not be able to keep him safe once he becomes a shinobi, but I can do this, at the very least,” I said, and smiled genuinely at him this time. “Do you have children, Atsushi-sama?”

He nodded.

“Then you can empathize with that, at least? The need to give your children the very best you can possibly give them?” I said.

“…You’re interesting, Kaname. I think you’ll do well here,” Makoto said, and began putting papers into a folder before continuing. “We’re a department of forty people, separated into eight official groups. The ones I can tell you about are the _Daimyō Buntai_ , though they are more formally known as the Capital Crisis Response Squad. They work primarily with the Daimyō and his advisors. We also have the _Kage Buntai_ , called the Hokage’s First Response Unit, who are liaisons directly to the other Kages. We have two other squads that respond to different villages, mostly non-shinobi ones, though we have one separate from the _Kage Buntai_ that primarily deals with shinobi villages. The one you’ll be joining for now runs the day-to-day business.”

…Wait a minute.

“You said ‘the one I’ll be joining’?” I asked, blinking. What was he saying?

Makoto smiled the most innocent smile I’d ever seen in my _life_ , and I realized then that I’d rather underestimated this man.

“Of course. This is only a formality, you understand. You already had a place with us…ah, weren’t you informed?”

My mouth twitched.

_You absolute fucking troll_ , I thought.

And here I was, thinking that _Hatake_ was bad.


	9. ACT ONE - Jubilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[...great happiness or joy...]_

* * *

I sat by the barred window, watching the distant lights of the celebratory fires as Naruto snuggled into my arms.

It had been – damn, it was approaching two _years_ since I’d first come to Konoha. Naruto had just turned five, and would be joining the Academy this upcoming spring.

My fingers tightened, and I deliberately relaxed them, putting all thoughts of _that_ out of my head. I turned my head away from the lights, and stared back into the room we’d spent the last week and a half in for our own protection.

This tradition had started when Naruto was a baby, I’d learned from the Hokage. A week before his birthday, he would be collected and deposited in a safe place, and guarded by neutral (or at least, not outright hostile) ANBU for the week of and after his birthday. So when I’d taken him under my wing, that protection was extended to me as well.

It wasn’t as though either of us were in any real danger _most_ days out of the year, but during the anniversary of Kurama’s attack, well. Alcohol flowed often and freely around this time, and tempers were always high. There was no need to put either of us at any risk, just in case.

The first time the ANBU had come to collect us, I had not been much prepared for it, and so Naruto’s birthday hadn’t even come close to passing muster. But this year…

I looked around the room again, noting the crumb-covered table, the empty ramen boxes I’d convinced Teuchi to deliver (via browbeaten ANBU), and the toys that were neatly piled up beside our beds. The walls were covered with decorations, bright and loud and only partially orange.

We’d spent the night reading stories, laughing and giggling and playing all sorts of games. We’d eaten until we were half sick, and had the absolute time of our lives.

I grinned, and pressed my head to Naruto’s bright hair.

This year I’d done much, much better.

Naruto had been laughing and giggling the entire day. He’d gone wide-eyed with delight over the special kit I’d made for him, and gone into paroxysms of mirth when I’d showed him how to use the glitter to nail one of the ANBU guards.

I was _very much_ looking forward to Naruto getting to flex his mischievous side, which I’d seen more and more of peeking out these past few weeks.

Konoha was not even remotely prepared.

(I was long since inured to the sadistically petty side of me I had discovered festering inside me. Konoha had given it quite a bit of fuel, after all, and trying to smother it was a battle I didn’t feel like picking.)

“Kaa-chan?” My son’s voice was more than a little slurred with fatigue. He’d had a very eventful day, after all.

“Go back to sleep, Naru-chan,” I said softly, feeling such an intense swelling of love for this boy.

“I w’nna watch the fireworks, Kaa-chan,” he protested and I laughed.

“All right then, Mr. Fussy Pants.”

Gently maneuvering him around until he was lying sideways, propped up against me, I angled his floppy head towards the window, giggling as he grumbled.

As fiery lights erupted to the sky, I pressed my lips to the top of my son’s head.

“Happy birthday, my darling.”

* * *

**A month later…**

“You know, you could do better if you dodged _away_ from his fists, right?”

I groaned as I pulled myself up and out of the crater Gai had smashed me into. I glared at the gray-haired shinobi watching the spar, his nose still in that _damnable_ book.

“Go – _wheeze_ \- fuck yourself, Hatake,” I hissed, before I had to focus all of my attention on getting the fuck away from Gai.

His leg was a green blur hurtling towards my face and I bent backwards, feeling the rush of air as it passed over my head. I dropped to the ground and lashed out with a sweeping kick that Gai nimbly leapt over.

My maniac of a teacher bounced back, grinning widely at me.

“You’re doing so well, Minori-chan!” he bugled.

The praise made me grin.

“I have a wonderful teacher, so I can’t help but do well!” I called back, and Gai laughed.

“I thought the point of sparring was _to spar_ ,” Kakashi cut in, his voice bored.

“Would you kindly _shut the fuck up_ , Hatake?” I snarled at him, more than tired of him already.

I was a sweaty, tired, fat mess, and it was _humiliating_ to be made fun of, especially by someone who had the special sort of jackassery only Hatake Kakashi could adequately pull off. And Kakashi was a very handsome man, so it was doubly embarrassing and _triply_ infuriating.

As most fat people were, I was super self-conscious of my own body whenever I worked out. While I’d gained a great deal of confidence over the time I’d spent in Konoha so far, old habits died hard.

“I wouldn’t go that way,” Kakashi said nonchalantly, and I hurriedly backflipped away from a punch that would have knocked me across the training grounds. Gai laughed, and gave chase.

Hatake was the goddamn bane of my existence, fucking hell.

Why in the hell had he wanted to watch our spar? Normally Gai and me had privacy - which I greatly friggin’ approved of - but Gai had totally agreed to let him watch, saying something like “You must get over your shyness, my dear friend! In battle you won’t be able to do so!”

Or something.

…man, I loved Gai to bits, and I was doing incredibly well under his tutelage, but for the oh no _FUCK-_

Gai appeared right in front of me, and his leg crashed into my stomach. The air exploded from my lungs in a pitiful wheeze, and I was flung back at roughly the speed of a cannonball fired at top speeds.

I hit the ground and felt it fracture under me, dirt spraying up as my body left a massive trench in its wake.

My ears were ringing, my head throbbed painfully, and I cursed Hatake Kakashi with every word in every language I could remember, though my aching throat wouldn’t let me give voice to them.

When I was reasonably certain that my legs would not automatically give out beneath me, I staggered upright, listing heavily to the side. But Gai was there, keeping me from faceplanting onto the ground.

I grinned woozily up at him as I clung to his arms, and gently patted his face.

Being well used to my stupidity, Gai just grinned back.

“You’re a fucking freak of nature, dude,” I said, the teasing words slightly slurred.

Gai opened his mouth to respond, but then there was the very unwelcome sound of mockingly impressed whistling, and Kakashi sauntered over to us.

I bristled, which seemed to be my instinctive reaction to Kakashi these days.

“You know, I didn’t think anyone without a lot of chakra could reach those distances,” Kakashi said, eying the trench Gai had pulled me out of. “But then again, I don’t think anyone without a lot of chakra would let Gai get anywhere near them, so there’s that.”

The words _if they were smart enough_ were left unsaid, but I heard them loud and clear.

I could feel something snapping behind my eyes. I could _feel_ it.

For _months_ this bastard had teased me, had mocked me about everything from my clothes to my appearance to my tendency to cry when I got angry, had fucking borderline stalked me (though that was because he was an ANBU), had mocked me in front of Gai and other shinobi I’d run into-

This was the last goddamn straw.

There was a cool lightness in my belly that spread outward, and I stepped away from Gai’s hold. There was a faint crackling on the air, and I felt Jiao-long tense. But I was removed from her, removed from it all. This wasn’t like calling my fire – or not quite.

“Kiss my _entire ass_ ,” I said, in the coldest, calmest voice that had ever come out of my mouth.

The gesture was as easy and familiar breathing. Like riding a bike.

Ozone crackled through the air as I snapped my hands out, twisting them around my body in movements I should have only ever remembered from TV. Blue lightning twisted, coiled, and snapped out in a straight line towards the silver-haired shinobi, who vanished just in the nick of time.

The lightning smashed into the place he’d just been, burning the grass and ground to a black, powdery glass.

My eyes opened – when had they closed? – and the coolness in my veins died away. My arms trembled, still wreathed in miniature lightnings that faded away as I became more aware of them.

There was silence, broken only by my ragged breathing. Gai’s chakra felt razor-sharp, and when Kakashi reappeared, looking dazed, his chakra was a hair-thin strand away from that same combat readiness.

I turned to Gai, and breathed in.

“I CHANNELED LIGHTNING!” whooshed out, along with a nearly ear-piercing scream as I began jumping up and down in the excitement of a lifelong fan.

I was a _lightning bender_ , I was a fucking _LIGHTNING BENDER_ HOLY FUCKING SHIT-

Jiao-long was laughing, Dorje was cackling, while Amaruq and Abhaidev were applauding. None of them seemed surprised in the slightest.

“AAAAAAAAAH RIE!” I bellowed, charging off in the direction of my mentor’s house. I had to let her know what I’d just accomplished! “ _RIEEEEEEEE I CHANNELED LIGHTNING!_ ”

All thoughts of secrecy, subtlety, and not letting anyone connected to Danzō know what I was capable of fled my brain. All I could think about was Iroh channeling lightning away from Zuko, Azula’s effortless ease in her cruel manipulation of it, Aang sending the lightning back to Ozai, and Zuko defying his father.

I was a fucking lightning bender.

_This was the most amazing day in my entire life._

* * *

“She is very impressive, isn’t she?”

“…”

“…My Eternal Rival?”

“……”

“My Eternal Rival, are you _blushing_?”

“………”

* * *

The morning air was cold with the lingering remnants of winter as I made my way to the area where the Memorial Stone was kept. Chōrui had shown me earlier that week where this was located, and told me the appropriate times for coming to it, when there wouldn’t be anyone around.

In the crook of my arm I carried a small bundles of flowers, and a bag that clinked with a tiny jar of incense and sticks.

While I didn’t know the appropriate way to pay my respects to the deceased in Konoha’s traditions, I knew the way I did so, the way I had always done so. And it was better to do it my own way, I thought.

It was a little more real to me, if I followed my own customs. I’d learned that doing what I would have normally done did far more than anything else to help make this entire world real to me.

The training ground was quiet and still as I entered it. It felt like a graveyard, though not nearly as oppressive and formal as the ones I’d been in back home. I took a second to look around. This would be the place where my son and his trainwreck of a team would complete the bell test.

I shivered a bit in the morning chill. The uniform of the _Kōshō Buntai_ – a gray tunic jacket with the kanji for truth emblazoned on the back, along with a white shirt, black pants, and thin black shoes – was a bit thin for the morning, but I wouldn’t have time to change before I headed in for work.

The Memorial Stone was a dark, rectangular slab of, well, _stone_ that rested on a small plinth near the back of the training grounds. It seemed like dozens of names were carved into its surface.

I’d been by the actual cemetery used by most civilians and lesser clans who didn’t have plots and/or shrines of their own, but that land was for those who hadn’t died in the line of duty. For those who hadn’t died as ‘heroes’.

_There is no need to be bitter before the dead_ , I told myself, and shook the feeling aside.

I quickly set the incense out in the small jar I’d brought with me, and rested the bundle of flowers I’d gotten from _Shiroyanagi Flowers_ near my apartment beside it.

The bundle consisted of several flowers in an arrangement I’d picked out myself.

They were not mourning flowers, to be precise, but rather a message for the spirits. I’d had to get help with the exact meanings from the clerk from all but a few, as Konoha seemed to follow the Japanese form of the language of flowers.

(Though I had used some of the more Western meanings to fill in the blanks.)

In the middle was a single white chrysanthemum, twined with a zinnia and a pink carnation. _The truth and loyalty of a mother’s love_. Then a circle of bluebells and daisies surrounded the three flowers. _I am grateful for what I have been given. Have faith in me_. And finally, the last ring was a circle of white clover, bluebells, and white anemone. _I am sincere about my promise_.

I sat cross-legged before the stone, and with a flick of a flame on my thumb, lit the incense bowl. The dreamy smell of frankincense gilded the air as I looked for and found the two names I had come here to see.

_Uzumaki Kushina._

_Namikaze Minato._

I clapped my hands together, and breathed in deep, before opening my eyes and settling back, waiting for the words I needed. While normally I would have used frankincense for deep meditation, now I used it for calm and for courage.

There was silence for a long, long moment as words trembled behind my tongue. I didn’t even know if they could hear me, Minato being where he was, and god only knows where Kushina was, but still.

It was the thought that counted.

“Naruto will join the Academy in the spring,” I whispered, my voice breaking the stagnant morning that laid over the training ground. “I thought about holding him back, but there has been a considerable amount of…pressure laid on Hiruzen-sama, and he has convinced me that the sooner Naruto becomes a shinobi, the safer he will be.”

Of course, he hadn’t said as much in so many words, but I’d read in between the lines. For all my son had just barely turned five, he still held the strongest bijū in the world in his stomach. The potential for him to become a weapon was still very much there.

For someone like Shimura Danzō, the temptation would be immense.

I shuddered at the thought, anger and fear curdling in my stomach.

“But I would never permit such a thing,” I said quietly. “My son is not a weapon. And he will _never_ be a weapon.”

The wind kicked up, just a little bit, and it tousled my hair.

“It would be so easy, so _easy_ to hate you for the burden you put on his shoulders, and on mine. Do you know…?” I shuddered out a breath and continued. “Do you know that a decapitated fox was left on our doorstep two weeks after Naruto’s birthday? That the word _monster_ was painted over my door one evening while we were out and that it took me the entire night to clean it away?”

Tears trickled down my face at the memory, and I impatiently knuckled them away.

“My son has heard people call me every foul and filthy name in the book, all because I adopted him. He’s seen the way people look at me, how we’re treated wherever we go. He’s had his innocence crumbled away years before it should have ever had to happen…yes, it would be so _easy_ to despise you both. You saw this village as more important than him, and they’ve treated him accordingly.”

But...

And now I smiled.

“But I can’t hate you. You brought the most beautiful child into the world, after all. He’s so bright and amazing and he refuses to let any of it bring him down. Gods, but for an ounce of his confidence…it would be worth diamonds,” I mused.

The air no longer felt chilled. I felt a warmth inside me, and in the air around me.

“Do you know that how much _love_ he has to give? Even with everything that has happened to him…he still has so much of it. He loves Konoha, and he’s so determined to make the best of it.”

Tears trickled down my face again, but this time I didn’t brush them away.

_-…“I’ll make them all listen, Kaa-chan! I’m going to be the best Hokage ever, and everyone will love us both! They’re just kind of dumb right now, so please don’t cry.”_

_My hands are flecked with red paint and red blood, and they tremble. Naruto looks up at me with his eyes so bright and clear and blue._

_“This is our home, Kaa-chan. And I’ll make it better!”…-_

I laughed.

“I could love Konoha just for that, you know? I can love Konoha for what _he’ll_ make of it, and what he’ll make of the world.”

There was a deep calm, a peaceful reckoning that surrounded me in that moment, and I threw my head back to catch the first hints of the sun just starting to rise.

I had never realized the sheer depth of bitterness inside me, until small shards of it had been peeled away in that very moment. It would still be there, probably always would, but it was lesser now.

Less _important_ , as I thought of my son and what I could give to him.

What I _would_ give to him.

“He deserves the world,” I told the ghosts of Kushina and Minato, or whatever lingered here. “And I’m going to make sure he gets it.”

The wind rushed past, dancing merrily, and I gasped as I felt – for the briefest second – hard, impossibly strong arms come around my shoulders in a hug.

Warmth danced like a living, breathing thing around me, like I was in the very middle of a hurricane made of pure fire, and I became aware of the faintest wisp of chakra that reminded me vaguely of Naruto’s.

Then there was a faint voice whispering in my ear, and my eyes went huge with shock.

_“I’ll hold you to that, ‘ttebane…and thank you!”_

And the wind danced away, and I knew I was alone again on the training field.

It took a great deal of effort and far too much time to compose myself enough to stand, but I eventually managed it, looking around with what I suspected was a rather shell-shocked appearance.

Before I left, I bowed to the Memorial Stone.

“Thank you,” I whispered, my heart feeling so overfull with emotion that I highly suspected I’d be spending half the morning bawling my eyes out.

But hey… _Uzumaki Kushina_ had given me her thanks.

In light of that, I believed I was rather entitled to a few tears.


	10. ACT ONE - Empathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[…the feeling that you understand and share another person's experiences and emotions…]_

It was a warm day that was just barely giving over to the faint chill of evening when I came to the Academy’s playground, looking around for my son.

While I didn’t have the freedom most other parents in Konoha did, to allow their children to run rampant through the streets – my son was still the hated jinchūriki, after all – I _was_ able to let Naruto wander with Naoko and her brothers in the area around the Oono compound, and at the Academy.

Naoko, Junichi, and Osamu were viciously protective of Naruto, and able to deal with a lot of threats that may have arisen. And even though Osamu was a newly made genin, he still spent as much time with Naruto as was possible. It was often him who went and brought Naruto home, or back to the Oono compound when I was busy with work. And few people were stupid enough to try something near the Academy, right in the shadows of the Hokage’s office.

I looked around the yard for that distinctive mop of neon yellow hair, ignoring the sneers from other parents who’d come to collect their children at the end of the school day.

Ah, there he was. I could see him on the see-saw, his hands flapping wildly, his head thrown back with a smile that spoke of furious, breathless, utterly joyful giggling.

I took a moment to bask in his happiness before walking over to him. Instead of Naoko or Junichi, who were normally his cohorts, I saw someone I had very much not expected to see.

Dark hair spiked in the back, pale skin, black eyes. A blue shirt with a cone-like collar, white shorts.

Uchiha Sasuke was giggling just as hard as my son was, and that was…

Well, I didn’t quite know what to make of _that_ knowledge, to be perfectly honest. I froze for a step, before I shook it off – _he was a child, and children normally smiled, there was nothing wrong with that, stop being weird Minori_ – and walked up.

“Having fun, Naru-chan?” I asked, and was proud of myself when my voice did not stutter at all.

Naruto’s head snapped around, and he grinned.

“Hiya Kaa-chan!” he bugled.

“Who’s your friend, bratling?”

Naruto’s face scrunched up into a hilarious scowl. “Sasuke’s not my friend, he’s a _bastard_!” He announced, almost proudly.

Mini!Sasuke scoffed. “And you’re a _dobe_ ,” he shot back, but with the affection of one friend to another.

I muffled a burst of (only slightly hysterical) laughter behind my hand, before putting my hands on my hips. Perhaps I should have scolded Naruto for his language, but it was goddamn funny. And my language was even worse than his.

_It starts this early on?_ I wondered with no little amusement, eyeing both boys with something that felt like fond exasperation. _Christ Jesus._

“Well, be that as it may, we need to head home-” I began, but then a voice cut me off.

“Sasuke!”

The voice brought to mind silk covered steel, like intricately worked iron twisted by a master’s hand into delicate shapes, no less strong for all the beauty.

I turned, and got my first look at Uchiha Mikoto.

She was a tall, reed-slim woman with the traditional Uchiha good looks, dressed in a subtle blue kimono with the Uchiha fan emblazoned at the pocket. I immediately understood it was from her that Sasuke would inherit his future beauty, and tried my hardest not to sweat as her gaze landed on my face.

Then the sweat went cold as her eyes twisted in a way I’d become used to ever since I’d taken Naruto under my wing.

_God damn it._

“Sasuke, come here,” her voice snapped out as she approached, and I bristled.

“Okaa-san!” Sasuke protested, and I stood by Naruto’s side, putting a hand on his back as he went still.

(How sad was it, that he’d become used to this as well?)

Mikoto no longer looked quite so attractive as she pulled Sasuke off the see-saw, obviously uncaring about whether or not Naruto went flying off the other side from the force. I braced my hip against the wood, preventing that from happening.

“Uchiha-sama,” I said coldly.

Mikoto’s eyes snapped to mine, and I _glared_ at her with every ounce of hate and rage I could muster, every inch of fucking _spite_ I had for this godforsaken, ass-backwards village and all their prejudices.

“Kaname,” she said back, even as she faltered, just a bit. Just enough to know I had gotten to her.

This woman had been Uzumaki Kushina’s friend. Her _best friend_ , from what little I remembered. And any person with eyes would have understood that Naruto was of Minato’s and Kushina’s blood.

I didn’t know what had happened to her and hers during Kurama’s rampage. I didn’t know, and I probably never would. Had she lost friends or even family? What had it been like for her on that day?

I didn’t know.

But what I _did_ know was that Uchiha Mikoto was one more in the ever-increasing line of people who had completely and utterly failed my son in every way possible, one more person who let their blind hate close their eyes to the blatant truth.

And that I would not stand for.

Naruto went easily into my arms, resigned in a way a five year old child should never have been, and I looked Mikoto dead in the eyes.

“Interesting, isn’t it, how easily the people in this village forget how to be polite, Uchiha-sama?” I said, my voice as mild as milk.

Her eyebrows wrinkled, her mouth pursing. I had expected the wife of the Clan Head of the Uchiha to be much less… _emotional_ , but it appeared Naruto and I had caught her very much off guard.

I smiled unpleasantly.

“Even more interesting, isn’t it, how easily the people in this village forgets the… _debts_ they owe to the people they supposedly loved?” I said, every bit as languid and dangerous as I could make the words.

And each one hit the mark. Mikoto paled, her eyes going huge and faintly agonized. What was she remembering? Kushina’s last words to her?

_“I hope they’ll be friends.”_

Had I reached her? Had I shown her that her hate was blind and stupid and wrong?

Not of Kurama, certainly, I could not begrudge her that. But her hate of Naruto, a _five year old child_ -

Her face clouded before my eyes, like a veil had dropped down between us. She sniffed and pulled Sasuke away, berating him for spending time around a ‘ruffian’ like my son.

And I felt suddenly exhausted, like I’d just run a marathon.

I looked around, and noticed it was growing dark. We were the only ones left in the yard, the rest of the parents having long since taken their children and gone.

“Let’s go home, Naru-chan,” I said wearily after a long moment, and walked out of the silent playground, my son quiet and still in my arms.

* * *

The thought of dogs drew me inexorably to the Inuzuka kennels.

(Also the thought of clean air and few people wandering around.)

Naruto was still in school, I had been let out early along with most of the Buntai (as we’d just finished getting one of the squads sent out yesterday to one of the other hidden villages), and I had nothing to do.

It was only a matter of time, I thought with a sigh as I leaned over the fence, trying to remind myself that it would be considered _very rude_ if I just snuck into the kennels so I could pet some dogs.

Also, it would probably wind up with me getting my throat ripped out, so, no.

I sighed again.

I was missing my dogs like nothing else right now. I had four of them back home, two German Shepard mixes, and two Golden Retrievers who I adored beyond all thought.

(The fact I could not even remember their names was a thought I discarded as soon as it entered my head. It was something I had gotten very good at.)

“Kaname-san?” I nearly leapt out of my skin as a curious voice sounded from behind me.

Whirling, I saw a face I knew well.

Inuzuka Hajime was a familiar sight around the Buntai, being one of the shinobi who often worked protection detail for the teams who went to other villages. I had spoken to him a fair bit when I saw him, and he treated me a fair bit better than most people did. The man was tall, with wild brown hair and the traditional Inuzuka markings on his tanned cheeks. His brown eyes were curious and kind of amused at my flailing.

“Ah! Inuzuka-san!” I spluttered a bit, grateful that even with my pale skin I did not blush easily. “Um, well, I was just-okay, yes I will give you pats and a treat,” I told Kari, Hajime’s partner, as she barked at me.

The big brown wolfdog bounded over to me, tail wagging. The minx knew full well I kept dog treats for her whenever they came to the Buntai, and that I was always willing to give her as many belly rubs as she wanted.

I gave her the biscuit I had in my pocket, and indulged us both by rubbing her belly vigorously after she flopped onto her back. From her delighted wiggles, she enjoyed it very much.

Hajime sighed, and I looked back up at him, smiling sheepishly.

“I just got her washed,” he complained, but the smile he wore took the bite out of the words.

I giggled. “Sorry, Inuzuka-san.”

Kari whined at him, and then at me. I went back to petting her, still giggling.

“… _Huh_ ,” Hajime said after a bit, and when I looked up at him there was a sense of knowing in his eyes.

“Sorry, I’ll just, uh, be on my way,” I said, and stood up.

I didn’t have a lesson for today, as Gai and Chōrui (who had long since taken over my various other ninja-lessons after my fall out with Haruki) were both on missions, but I was sure Rie could come up with _something_. And I wanted to continue the discussion we’d started about the ‘anomalies’ in my blood and the possibility that my chakra systems may hinder childbirth.

(Which I was praying for, to be perfectly honest)

I wouldn’t be able to keep much up with it, but Rie was good at explaining things to me in a way that I could eventually come to understand it. And the Oono compound was a good place to unwind and relax.

“You want to come see the pups, Kaname-san?” he offered, and I stared at him.

He grinned like a boy. “I just figured, that since you look like you want to leap over the fence, you keep sighing in the direction of the kennels, and you adore Kari so much…” He shrugged.

Okay, _now_ I was blushing. “It’s…all right?”

“Kari likes you, and that’ll be enough for most of the clan,” Hajime said. “She’s a good judge of character.”

Unspoken in those words was that Kari’s word would stand very well against the reputation I had been given when I had publicly brought Naruto into my home.

“Well, if no one minds…” I trailed off, trying not to fidget excitedly. He snorted, and went over the fence, Kari right behind him.

“Come on, then,” he said, and I leapt over the barrier after him.

The Inuzuka compound was a spacious thing, with more focus on open space than housing. With so many big dogs among their number, such a thing was smart. We took a left, away from the house in the distance, and made tracks towards the building to the west of it.

The kennels were a big, spacious, one-story building made of light-colored yet sturdy wood. They served both as a living space for the various dogs, but also a nursery and a clinic for both animals and for certain humans who disliked visiting human medics and/or the hospital.

It was shaped like a square, with rooms connecting each of the ‘joints’ and the halls, and an open space in the middle, and we walked around the building to a small door on the west side. Hajime opened the door for me, and I stepped inside.

The room was cool and quiet, and looked something like the front of a doctor’s office. There was a very pretty Inuzuka woman sitting at the desk, reading through some papers. She looked up when the bell over the door jangled.

Her eyes lit when she saw Hajime. “Hajime-kun! What brings you to the nur- _oh_.”

I tried not to groan as she frowned at the sight of me. Well, this was going to go just great, I could _already_ tell.

Hajime’s hand landed on my shoulder, and it was a close battle to keep myself from sighing very loudly as the girl’s narrowed eyes tracked the movement.

Great. Jealous admirers. Just what I needed.

I held up a hand, thoroughly annoyed by this and wishing I hadn’t even come near the compound.

“Despite what you are very obviously thinking, Inuzuka-san and I are not in a relationship, nor will we be in one at any time in the future,” I said flatly. “I buy Kari treats occasionally, and he has decided to repay me by letting me visit the pups. Or is that not permitted for the _fox brat’s_ mother?”

Dead silence. I shifted a bit, refusing to feel uneasy.

This girl wasn’t someone important that I had to be fearful of offending, and more over I was sick and fucking _tired_ of dealing with Konoha’s stupid prejudice towards my son.

We were going to get this out into the air _right now_.

Then the girl flushed bright red and stammered something unintelligible. Taking pity on her, Hajime steered me past the desk and to the door on the left, Kari bounding along at his side.

“You’ve got a way with people, Kaname-san,” he said with a long-suffering sigh.

I shrugged, knowing I had overreacted and unable to care. We continued on in silence, until-

“Does…does Kiku really-I mean, ah, well…” Hajime sounded unsure, and when I turned to look at him, he was blushing a bit around his nose.

At the sight of it, I suddenly felt a lot better. I elbowed him gently.

“I’d be very surprised if she doesn’t. Girl was almost spitting fire when you touched me - though that could be just because of who I am,” I mused. “But when I confronted her about it, she turned bright red so…yeah, I’m right. She’s half gone on you.”

Hajime stuttered more than the girl had, which was amusing and did a lot for my mood.

He opened the door to my right, and I gasped as the sound of tiny yips met my ears.

Puppies. Puppies _EVERYWHERE_.

I squealed, completely unable to help it.

There were brown, white, black, ones with different spots, incredibly curly ones that looked like giant piles of walking floof-

Hajime guided me in and shut the door behind us as the puppies came yipping up to the fence that kept them back. These were _super tiny_ puppies, probably before they were matched to an Inuzuka, or the ones who wouldn’t be matched at all.

Two immense hounds came up, nudging the pups away as I desperately tried to speak and failed. They were gorgeous dogs, sleek and covered all over in black-blue fur that made me think they might have had some relation to Inuzuka Tsume’s Kuromaru. One had wolf-like yellow eyes, the other blue.

“Kari, Hajime,” the yellow-eyed dog said, their voice deep and sonorous.

“You’ve brought someone new for us,” the other said, their voice a shade lighter.

“Kiiromaru, Aomaru,” Hajime said, pushing me forward. “This is Kaname Minori. She-”

“May I pet them, Kiiromaru-sama, Aomaru-sama?” I blurted, unable to hold it back any more.

Aomaru – the blue eyed one, I believed – blinked at me. “Pet them?”

“Yes,” I said decisively. “Your pups. Please? They’re so… _small_.”

As if she was giving me a recommendation, Kari bumped under my hand and barked at the two. I wondered in a vague part of my head if it was only Kuromaru’s line that could speak – but then again Akamaru couldn’t, now could he?

(Was Akamaru even of Kuromaru’s line? I wasn’t sure.)

I held out my hands for the dogs to smell as they approached me. They did so carefully, before sitting back and looking at each other.

Kiiromaru turned back to me.

“Come in, human. We’ll see how you do.”

Even the unspoken threat of _fuck with us or the pups and we’ll kill you_ barely dented my enthusiasm. I carefully picked my way over the thigh-high fence, and was greeted with excited yips and barks.

I couldn’t hold out any longer. I lowered myself to my butt and let myself be swarmed by puppies.

Hajime was heroically stifling his laughter as I looked up at him, in the midst of being lavished with love by a corkscrewed tailed pup that was just _so small_.

“Having fun?” he asked, barely holding in the giggles. I couldn’t even be mad at him, I probably looked ridiculous.

I made a vague wheezing noise, before gathering the dog to my chest.

“I’ve died and gone to heaven,” I told him when I’d found the words, and laid down in the middle of the river of fur.

This did not help his giggling in the slightest.

* * *

_The figure was tall and slender as a reed, draped in shadows. It moved with a careful, predatory grace as it prowled through the forest, searching. Hunting._

_It was a cool night, with the air carrying a hint of the salt-smell from the not-so distant ocean. It was a good night, one of the few the figure was permitted to wander so far._

_Had they the time, they would have stopped, perhaps at one of the human inns they’d passed earlier. Perhaps they would have had some human food. They missed strawberries more than anything, though it was unlikely any shops in these lands would sell them._

_But, no. Tonight they had other business._

_The tree branches barely moved as the figure alighted on them, watching. The shadows peeled back just enough to catch the curved edge of the white mask they wore._

_In the hollow of the tree below them, a child – his skin so white it glowed like a beacon in the dark – slept, his eyelids fluttering restlessly. A curious child he was, with that white hair and skin and white kimono flecked in old blood._

_The figure leapt down, and the boy came awake in a rush. Shinobi trained, the figure thought, feeling a rush of fond nostalgia and ugly hate curling inside them._

_They hold out their hands. Yes, this was who they have come to find._

_A whisper rang in their ears and they nodded to the spirits who had guided them to this place._

_The spirits had told them many days ago of a small child who had cared for them, a small human-child imprisoned who had given his last bit of food to a spirit-child who had wandered far and was weak. They had told the figure of this, and begged the figure’s help._

_They had told the figure also of the snake that hunted, the snake that would try and take the human that had helped their child. And the figure had agreed then, because they knew of the snake they had spoken of._

_A dark hand came up, and pulled the gleaming mask free, and the hood down. The figure spoke slowly, softly._

_“You must be Kimimaro,” they said, and the boy jerked._

_“How do you know my name?” he whispered, staring at them._

_“Someone asked me to find you, little one,” they said, and held out a hand. “They wanted me to find you, and keep you safe.”_

_“Are you from…Kirigakure?” he asked, hesitant._

_The thought made the figure laugh, and they did so._

_When they looked back at the boy, he has come closer, hoping the hand outstretched to him came without pain. In that, he was like a beaten dog, and that made the figure so very_ angry _._

_They were so much like their Father, they mused regretfully. But at least they never let that anger flow free._

_“I am not,” the figure said, and the small, very pale hand rested in theirs. The figure gathered him up, and rocked him as he cried for the loss of the family that never loved him, but they did not mind. They understood._

_The figure knew well they could not make the child theirs, not entirely, no matter their thoughts on the matter. Their Father would never permit it, for one, and the place they lived was no home for a human._

_But they knew someone who_ could _._

(Much later, a snake-faced man with blood and gore will come by the ruins of the Kaguya compound, on word that a single child survived the massacre. He will not find any such child. He will rage and shriek that such a bloodline has escaped him, and he will kill the fool who told him of this.

But the figure, and the small child in their arms, will be long gone by then.)


	11. ACT ONE - Rapport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[…connection, especially harmonious or sympathetic relation…]_

It was a cool winter day, and I was longing for snow.

Konoha wasn’t a desert nor a jungle, but snow was still not nearly as common as it had been Back Home, and I missed it.

I missed having White Christmases, missed having snow to play in, having hot chocolate while snow fell outside my window -

“Kaname!”

The voice was sudden and brash, and completely unexpected, as was the arm that wrapped around my waist and hauled me up into a hug. I smelled wood-smoke and fur, and felt a streamlined chakra that felt like dogs, strangely enough.

My chakra sense, such that it was, wasn’t much like the other sensors around the village. While others could tell how strong chakra was with ease, track people by their chakra, or whatever, I had discovered that my sensing ability worked more for the _impression_ of chakra, if that made any sense.

Jiao-long called it the ‘spirit’ of a person.

While I’d felt similar chakra like the person who held me, I’d never felt it so strong before, so _untamed_. But it did give me some clue as to who was holding me a near foot off the ground.

I grinned shyly up into the fierce face of Inuzuka Tsume. She was a wild beauty, her age barely showing on her face but for a few lines around her eyes and mouth.

“Come to visit, have you?” she asked, her voice a pleasant burr in my ears.

“I suppose I have, Inuzuka-sama,” I said wryly. “I hope it’s not an imposition.”

Rather casually tucking me under my arm – good fucking _god_ this woman was muscled, I was 200 fucking pounds and she was picking me up like I weighed nothing – she continued on her way. I felt like a sack of potatoes, but didn’t see the need to make much of a comment about it.

Instead I grinned at Kuromaru, trotting alongside his partner, and reached out hopefully to let him sniff my hand. The one eyed dog permitted it, and also permitted me to scratch his ears for a little bit.

If I had still been in the ‘Japanese weaboo phase’ that had dominated my life from age 7 to age 12, I might have screeched something about how ‘ _kawaii_ ’ it all was.

As I was an adult of twenty-four years and some change, I instead squealed _inwardly_. I had my pride.

“Kid, you know you don’t have to call me Inuzuka-sama,” Tsume complained. “Makes me feel old.”

I smirked back up at her, craning my head a little awkwardly to do so. “ _Tsume_ -sama, then?”

She shook me a little like a dog might shake a boisterous puppy. “Brat,” she chided.

We walked along – well, she and Kuromaru mostly did the walking, to be accurate – until we reached the Inuzuka clan compound.

“Tsume-sama, I _do_ have things to do,” I pointed out. “I’ll have to get my son from school soon.”

“I’ll have Hana pick him and Kiba up,” Tsume said, and I stiffened as voices reached me. A great deal many voices, and the sound of just as many dogs.

“Your daughter? Tsume-sama, I’m afraid I don’t understand…” I trailed off as Tsume threw open a door, and a hush fell over the Inuzuka in the room.

A cold sweat trickled down my spine. Sure, I’d spent many a day at the Inuzuka kennels since Hajime had brought me there the first time, and _sure_ pretty much all of the dogs I met _adored_ me.

But this was still a room full of Inuzuka, all of whom were very quiet and had their eyes trained on me, from the smallest ninken to the brawniest shinobi. And I was still the mother of Konoha’s jinchūriki.

(How many Inuzuka had lost family members, partners, brothers, sisters, and gods all knew who else to Kurama’s brainwashed rampage?)

I did not want to hurt animals, especially not dogs, but fucking hell, if I had to make a quick getaway someone was probably going to get-

Then, a familiar laugh. Aomaru, the blue-eyed dog I’d met in the nursery, trotted up to us.

“Tsume, put Minori down, you’re embarrassing her,” Aomaru said.

The head of the Inuzuka clan laughed, the sound reverberating down my side as she set me on my feet.

“So, let’s eat, shall we?” Aomaru said, bumping up against my side. “Does anyone have something to say against Kaname Minori joining our table?” they continued, looking around at all of the dogs and clan members gathered around the room and the buffet table at the far corner.

There was no answer for a time, until I heard a bark I well recognized.

Kari bounded over, along with a horde of other similar dogs. I recognized them all as those I’d met when they’d come to the Buntai, and a few from hours spent at the nursery. I knelt to greet them, laughing and petting as many as I could while they jostled for position near me.

I don’t know why it was, but the Inuzuka dogs just liked me and I just straight up liked them.

“Come on, brat, stop spoiling them and let’s eat!” a male voice said, to be joined with a chorus of agreement from a dozen others.

I looked up, just as Tsume plucked me out of the dogpile and dragged me over to a group of Inuzuka around my age or a little bit older. We were followed by the dogs, who crowded around me with careless abandon. Kari curled up at my back, which made Hajime – one of the other humans I was now sitting by – protest.

“She likes you better than me!” he said, pouting, and the girl at his side giggled a little. I recognized Kiku, the occasional worker at the nursery and the object of Hajime’s affections.

“She probably smells better than you, Hajime,” she said, her voice teasing.

We’d reached something of an accord, these past few weeks. We’d never be the best of friends, me and her, but we were friendly acquaintances.

“She certainly _looks_ a fair sight better than you, Hajime,” one of our other companions said with a laugh. The speaker was a tall Inuzuka male with darker skin than most of the others, his hair pulled back into a tight braid.

The man flashed me a grin, and the curly-haired mongrel at his side woofed loudly at me, tongue lolling as all the others around us began laughing at Hajime’s hangdog expression.

“I’m Shiga, beautiful. This is Kasshokumaru,” the man said, indicating the dog at his side. “So tell us, why has Hajime been keeping you a secret from us?”

I smiled wryly at him. “Fake flattery will get you nowhere, my buck,” I chided. If the man didn’t know who I was, I wasn’t going to advertise it before all and sundry.

“Stop teasing her, Shiga,” another Inuzuka, this one female, said. Her brown-blonde hair was almost as wild as her gleaming black eyes. “You want to eat, Kaname-san?”

“Minori,” I corrected. “If you’re going to all this trouble to have me over, you can at least call me by name. And I would like to eat, I’m starving.”

The Inuzuka to my left wrapped a companionable arm around my shoulders. Where normally I would have stiffened – there were few people I liked to have touching me, after all – the smell of dogs and the warmth of their chakra was incredibly soothing. I leaned into the touch.

Soon the party was in full swing, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself. The food was great, there were dogs galore, the company wasn’t half bad, and no one was glaring at my back. All was good in my world.

I was in the middle of discussing types of dog shampoo that didn’t sting so much when it got into human eyes with Shiga when a hush fell over the room. I heard growling, but it was more of an undercurrent than an actual noise.

Familiar chakra reached my senses. Blue, pure and deep, like an endless well.

It was also terrified, which had me out of my seat before I was halfway conscious of the thought to move.

Naruto clung to the doorway, bracketed by a much younger Inuzuka Kiba and Hana, both of whom looked confused at his reticence.

“ _C’mon_ Naruto, I wanna eat,” Kiba groused. “You’re _not_ a fraidy-cat, why’re you acting like one now-”

“Naruto,” I said, and my son’s swimming blue eyes snapped up to me. His mouth trembled, and I knelt to open my arms.

He inched into them very carefully, before burying his face in my neck. Tears slicked my throat as I turned, just enough to see the rest of the room. I remembered just then a story he’d told me before bedtime, and I wanted to curse at myself for forgetting it.

The matron of the orphanage where Naruto had lived before me had kept dogs – almost feral things, and they’d hated Naruto with a passion. The matron and her niece…they’d found it _funny_ , to sic the starving animals on my three-year-old son.

So _funny_.

(The day after I’d learned that, I’d managed to punch Gai halfway across the training ground.

He’d been so proud. Kakashi had gaped like a landed fish.

It had improved my mood considerably.)

The growling was still a low whisper through the room, and I turned my head, not releasing my grip on my terrified child. Oh, _this_ would not do.

I pulled my lips back from my teeth and _snarled_ , the noise loud and twisting across the air that suddenly seemed much denser, much heavier than it had before. It was surprisingly easy to do, and strangely natural.

Ears flattened across the room, and I saw not a few dogs and shinobi shrink back from the sound.

“Kari,” I said to the wolfhound, and beckoned. “Come here.”

The wolfhound’s ears were flat to her skull, and if she had gotten any closer to the ground she would have been crawling. Naruto whimpered as Kari came closer.

“Naruto, this is Kari. She won’t hurt you, not like those other dogs,” I said, aiming a look that wasn’t quite a glare at Hajime when he opened his mouth. He shut it in a hurry.

Naruto sniffled, and in that moment I quite felt like I could have killed someone. Instead, I kept my fury locked away, and waited.

Kari snuffled as Naruto looked at her, his teary eyes still watering. The wolfhound put her big muzzle on my thigh, waiting patiently.

I gently rubbed her ears, letting Naruto watch the movement as I did so.

“She’s a very good dog, Naru-chan,” I said. “Her fur is very soft. Do you want to pet her?”

His hand was shaking as it reached out, his other hand clinging to my neck in a death grip. Kari never moved as Naruto’s hand touched her head and began to stroke her fur.

I smiled over Naruto’s head at Tsume, who grinned and nodded.

“Isn’t she soft, darling?” I asked my son, whose terror was slowly receding.

He nodded, and squeaked as Kasshokumaru trotted up to us. The curly-haired dog woofed at Naruto, and stopped within arm’s reach of my boy, relaxed and not even the slightest bit wary.

“This is Kasshokumaru, Naru-chan. Say hello,” I said, and Naruto smiled shakily at the dog.

“H-Hello, Maru-chan,” he said, his voice tiny and his smile tremulous.

I could practically hear hearts sighing across the room, and fought the urge to grin. I knew that a bunch of unabashed dog-lovers (which the Inuzuka really were, when you thought about it) couldn’t hope to stand against the overwhelming power that was my son’s Unbearable Cuteness™.

Animal lovers were frequently fond of small, adorable children, I had found.

More dogs began to approach us, and when Naruto started giggling, I looked at the others around the room. Soft faces and soft eyes I found, even on the older shinobi.

It was a strange feeling, a sort of cool triumph that burned like cold fire in my belly.

 _Step one_ , Jiao-long whispered.

Step one, I thought. But of what?

 _Consolidating the power base that will help both of your rises to power_ , Jiao-long said, and for the first time I did not tremble at the meaning behind those words. **_Allies_** _, my dear student. Step one._

I hid my understanding smile in my son’s hair as I took him over to greet my dinner companions, the dogs following us eagerly. More of the Inuzuka came up to greet us or say hello to Naruto.

In the eyes of one grizzled veteran I saw aching fondness and shame hidden deep, and gently goaded Naruto to smile at the man as my son pet the shinobi’s partner.

The Inuzuka, who reached out a trembling hand to muss Naruto’s neon-yellow hair, was old enough to have been on the field when Namikaze Minato had fought against Iwa. I doubted anything else but seeing the Yondaime in battle and later facing his only son would have put that reverent look on a shinobi’s face otherwise.

There was barely any hesitance after that, and several of the younger Inuzuka – Kiba and Hana among them – pulled Naruto away from me to eat away from the adults.

Naruto looked absolutely bewildered, which warmed me more than anything had in a long, long time.

“He’s a cute kid,” Hajime said.

“Startling hair,” Shiga commented, and I looked at him under my lashes. He looked very thoughtful.

“It must run in his family, whoever they may be,” I said, my voice mild as milk. “Did you know he lived in the orphanage before I found him, with a _hag_ of a civilian? She liked to sic her dogs on Naruto when she was drunk, but he still loves animals. His sense of compassion and love startles me to this day.”

Every Inuzuka at the table went deathly still, and I hid a smile.

All of Konoha would know soon enough, that _Namikaze Minato’s_ son, that the son of one of Konoha’s greatest heroes, had been brutally abused by the woman who’d been supposed to care for him.

And for a clan like the Inuzuka, who put such a pride in family, in _pack_ , such a thing was intolerable.

My son, the hated jinchūriki, the future Nanadaime Hokage – he could conquer countries, simply by being himself. I saw it now, as the Inuzuka came up to him slowly, their hearts in their eyes.

All it took was making sure he was in the right place to do so. That he had the right tools.

I could make sure of that.

 _Step one_ , Jiao-long whispered, while Abhaidev, Dorje, and Amaruq watched with utter fascination.

 _Step one_.

* * *

Naruto dozed on his Mama’s shoulder as she carried him home. She was warm and smelled like food, and he thought he should have probably protested her carrying him like his was a baby, but he really didn’t mind.

Just because stupid Kiba didn’t like his Mama holding him, didn’t mean _Naruto_ didn’t. He liked hugs, and Mama loved giving him all the hugs he could ever want.

A gentle laugh trickled through his head, and he scowled at it.

 _Shush, Uta-baka_ , he sniffed at the voice, who had been one of his earliest companions. _Yer just jel-jealous because you don’t have a Mama to hug you._

The laugh stopped, and the presence faded away.

Naruto winced. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.

W-Well, he didn’t care! Uta-baka liked teasing him way too much, even though Han-sensei told him not to.

Naruto wondered, his grip tightening on his Mama’s back, if he should tell his Mama about the Voices. They’d been with him for as long as he could remember, and they were his best friends.

They’d told him to trust Mama (well, that had been more Han-sensei than the others), and they kept him safe from the ‘mares he sometimes had. He liked them lots, as much as he liked Auntie Rie and Uncle Aki and Nao and Jun and Osa, though not nearly as much as he liked Mama.

Even prickly Yu-chan was nice, and she was super pretty too, though not like Hinata-chan.

He thought of the friend he’d made today, and grinned. She was kinda weird, but she was funny, too, and she didn’t act all stupid towards him like the other students did, or like Sasuke did now that his Mama had been mean.

He liked her eyes, too, and she’d shared her onigiri with him at lunch after stupid Sakura had called him an idiot!

Yeah, Naruto decided. He could tell Mama about Hinata-chan.

“Kaa-chan?” he said, and her arms tightened around him.

“Yes, darling?”

“I made a friend today, at school.”

“Do you mean Kiba-kun?” his Mama asked, sounding pleased and amused, and Naruto scowled.

“Noooo, not stinky Kiba,” he groused, though he did like how Kiba wasn’t stupid or mean to him, even when he couldn’t understand stuff. “Her name’s Hinata-chan, and she’s the prettiest girl in school.”

His Mama was quiet, and Naruto didn’t know why. Did Mama know Hinata-chan’s family? Had they been one of the ones who had called her bad names? He worried for a second.

But then his Mama was kissing his hair, and laughing quietly.

“The prettiest girl in school? My, I’ll just have to meet this Hinata-chan, now won’t I? Tell me more about her, darling.”

Naruto, more awake now, sat up to look his Mama in the face. He gently patted her cheek.

“Not mad?” he asked, and she grinned.

“Not in the slightest,” she said. “Now, tell me about this pretty girl who stole my son’s heart from me.”

“Kaa-chan, stop teasing me!” he pouted, and she laughed, tickling his belly until he squeaked.

“Well, isn’t this a lovely sight.”

The smile fell from his Mama’s face at the voice, and her eyes went cold and glassy, like a mask. He didn’t like it when Mama looked like this. It scared him, and Naruto buried his face back in her neck.

“Uchiha-san, how can I help you?” his Mama asked, sounding polite in the way she did when she really just wanted someone to go away.

The man made a surprised noise. “C’mon, Minori-san, I told you to call me Shisui, yeah?”

“I generally reserve that bit of informality for friends, _Uchiha-san_.”

“You’re so mean, even when I brought you flowers!”

“Cactus flowers and tulips are _not_ an appropriate flower gift for someone who not only is eight years older than yourself, but is someone that _you barely know_.”

“But I feel as though as I’ve known you all my life, beautiful!”

“Fake flattery will get you nowhere, boy.”

His Mama’s voice sounded more amused than cold now, so Naruto thought it might be okay to see who this person was. He did so, and stared at the boy standing there.

He looked kind of like Sasuke, but his hair was all curly instead of spiky like a duck’s butt. He was a shinobi, and had the hi-hite- _headband_ of Konoha around his forehead.

The older boy noticed him, and grinned. The expression looked weird. Uchihas weren’t supposed to smile, Sasuke had told him, which was stupid, but then again Uchihas were _stupid_ , like Sasuke and his stupid mother.

“Hey, you must be Naruto!” the boy said, and grinned. “I’m Shisui, though I suppose your mother’s told you everything about me.”

“Why would I tell my son anything about you, rascal?” his Mama shot back, smiling a bit.

Shisui sighed. “Your Mama is so mean. Won’t you tell her to take pity on a man love-struck by her beauty, Naru-chan?”

Naruto scowled. Only his _Mama_ was allowed to call him Naru-chan.

“You’re not a man, you’re a boy,” he announced, and Shisui gaped.

Naruto’s Mama laughed long and hard. “He’s told you, Shisui-san,” she said, still giggling. “Now, do you do you need-and comments on my various attributes are _not_ necessary.”

Shisui sighed. “Can’t I just see a lady and her child home? Let me have my peace of mind, gorgeous.”

Naruto’s Mama was still. “Any particular reason for that?”

Shisui shrugged. “Heard some people making comments about how you take this path home. C’mon, let me walk with you?”

His mama was quiet. “Fine.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard!”

“Don’t push your luck, dumbass.”

Naruto muffled his giggles into his mama’s shoulder, while Shisui groaned loudly and made over-the-top gestures like Mama sometimes did when she was telling him stories.

Mama was giggling as well, so maybe Shisui wasn’t _too_ bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all those waiting for the next chapter of _On the Ocean Blue_ , I'm still editing the chapters I wrote for NaNoWriMo, but you can expect to see Chapter 27 by Monday, at the very least.


	12. ACT ONE - Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[…to meet with or contend against…]_

* * *

The letter arrived via a stone-faced Hyūga, who rather looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere near my apartment.

That was just fine by me, as _I_ didn’t want him anywhere near my apartment either.

I still smiled placidly at him, and accepted the letter with my murmured thanks. He didn’t leave, either, which was doubly awkward.

God damn it, now I had to invite him in for tea.

As I bowed him inside, I noted how his considerably freaky eyes – seriously, they had no goddamn _pupils_ , that was fucked up – flicked with disdain over the walls, the second-hand furniture, and Naruto’s toys left strewn about.

I stiffened at that, feeling ashamed and dirty and small before him.

Then I straightened my back, and nailed him with the coldest, most haughty _don’t fuck with me boy_ stare I could muster. There was _nothing wrong_ with saving money by buying second-hand. All of the furniture I had was sturdy and durable and would last a lifetime or more, even if it wasn’t ostentatious enough to pass muster with some smarmy Hyūga. And my son was more than allowed to be messy and act like a _child_ , because god knows he wasn’t allowed to do it anywhere else!

And for that matter, why the _hell_ should I care about the opinion of some fuckwit whose vaunted family practiced a form of virtual _slavery_ towards its own? I mean, come on now.

The Hyūga may have been rich and ‘noble’, but they were also one of the most dysfunctional and borderline abusive clans I’d ever seen in all of anime. The Caged Bird Seal was no longer an efficient way of keeping the Byakugan out of enemy hands (if it had ever been), and had long since degenerated into a way of keeping the Branch House quiescent.

(And for that matter, the damned thing didn’t even _work_ , if I was remembering canon right. Didn’t that Mizukage’s guard who’d fought Shisui – named Aoba, or something – have a stolen Byakugan? Like…the whole thing was so utterly pointless, and if I was remembering right it didn’t even work.)

“What brings you to my humble apartment today, Hyūga-san?” I asked him, after setting the tea before him.

His eyes flicked to the letter and back up to my face. “I was told to await a reply,” he said coldly, as though I was an idiot.

My smile gained a sharp edge. _Treating me like an infant does you no favors,_ boy, I thought coolly, or maybe Jiao-long thought it.

Instead, I put a hand to my lips in faint surprise. “Well, why didn’t you say so when you arrived? I _certainly_ wouldn’t want to take up any more of your _very_ important time, Hyūga-san.”

Those freaky as hell eyes narrowed at me, but I simply smiled and went about opening the letter.

It was thick parchment, and the writing bordered on near-calligraphic levels of neatness. My eyebrows shot into my hairline as I began to read, and then they somehow went even further when I came to the name of the person who’d written the letter.

_You’ve got to be kidding me._

I fought for composure and found it, drawing it up like a shield to hide the shock. Memories from the hated ‘noblewoman’s education’ came to the fore, and I clung to them almost desperately.

“If you would but give me a moment, I will write a reply,” I said mildly, and went to find the box of special box of stationary I’d been given by the Hokage.

Normally, as a ‘young noble woman of a noble clan’ (even though I wasn’t, you know, a _woman_ ) approached by a caller for an appointment with another noble clan, I would have been expected to hand the letter over to my guardian, and have them pen a reply in my stead.

But as things stood, I was on the outs with most of the Sarutobi clan, and I couldn’t possibly bother the Hokage just because _Hyūga Hiashi_ was inviting me to tea.

Hyūga Hiashi was inviting _me_. To _tea_.

Took me a moment to process that, I had to admit.

(A tiny voice in my head was panicking to a tune called _HOLY FUCK MOTHER FUCK AAAAAAAAAH_ )

So it fell to me to write the reply, with all the tools Hiruzen-sama had handed me for just this reason.

Twenty minutes later, as the Hyūga-drone left with my reply – written in the correct formal language, formatted properly, etc – I sat back, looking out the window.

“Here I was, thinking the first time I was going to have to use that shit was when a suitor showed up,” I mused, rubbing my hand to ease the faint aches that lingered from gripping the pen in the right way.

But it made sense that it wasn’t, in hindsight. Rie still hadn’t finished figuring out whether or not my systems would allow me to bear a chakra-bearing child, or if my _kekkei genkai_ could even be passed to a chakra-bearing child.

(It probably could, Rie had said, but she needed to make sure before any announcements were made to the noble clans.)

And whatever suitors were waiting in the wings didn’t want to go to all the trouble of announcing themselves for a person who may not even be able to bear children.

I groaned, and rubbed my face.

While I would have been perfectly goddamn happy to never be able to bear children unless it was on my own goddamn terms and not via _coercion_ , the whole contract allowing me to stay in this village had been made on the basis of _me having children_ …who could then be exploited by the perpetual war machine known as Konoha.

 _Haaa…that’s even more bitter than normal_ , I thought wryly.

I shook that aside, and turned back to the window.

…But why was the clan head of Hyūga approaching me, if not for matters of gaining my _kekkei genkai_?

 _Is it not obvious?_ Jiao-long asked, sounding amused. _Naruto befriended his daughter, as he’s mentioned to you before, and Hyūga wants to get a closer look at him. He cannot do it by cornering the boy – he is your acknowledged son if not by law, and under the implicit guardianship of the Sarutobi clan, instead of just being an orphan street rat and hated jinchūriki. And added to that, you are a noble maiden under the care of a noble clan, with a remarkably powerful kekkei genkai that – if it can be passed along – will be the prize of whatever clan has you. So he must go through the proper channels to get_ your _measure, and your son’s._

I groaned.

Fucking politics.

 _You’ll need proper clothing, and a_ proper _appearance, for a meeting with the head of a noble clan. Go into your bedroom, we’ll need to practice applying makeup and how you’ll be speaking. We’ll also have to speak with the Hokage, to see if things such as litters are done here._

I blinked. A litter? Why would I need one of those?

Jiao-long laughed. _You will be dressing quite finely for this meeting, and we cannot have you walking the streets in a kimono, no? It would get all dirty, and would not make much of a good impression on the Hyūga, who have already looked down on you for the appearance of your house. You go not only as your son’s mother, but also as the representative of the Sarutobi noble clan. And a first impression is one hard to break, so it_ must _be a good one._

But, a _litter_? I asked her, trying my hardest not to whine.

_It depends on how such things are done here. In my time it was what was used by nobles during travel, if one wasn’t used to riding a horse or wore clothing that didn’t permit it. Things could very well be different here, though, which is why we should inquire of the Hokage._

I sighed. I had today and tomorrow off from work, and while I had planned on catching up on some chores and doing some cleaning, I’d probably be spending it getting ready.

 _Maybe it would be better for you to ask Rie_ , Amaruq commented thoughtfully.

Rie?

 _He has a point_ , Jiao-long said. _I should have remembered that. Rie was a ward of the Hyūga clan, was she not? If there is anyone who would know the proper way to make a good first impression on them, it would be her. And it would be easier to see her than the Hokage, would it not?_

 _And if Rie-chan doesn’t know_ , _then her hubby should_ , Dorje said. _He probably had to be all proper ‘n shit when he was asking for her hand, right?_

I rubbed my forehead.

“Fucking politics,” I grumbled, feeling a migraine building behind my eyes.

 _Naruto would be getting out of school soon_ , I thought, looking out the window.

I could think of all that nonsense I’d have to deal with _later_.

* * *

Litters were still in fashion, Akihiro and Rie both assured me.

Shinobi, of course, rarely used them or saw the need to (unless they were hosting the Chūnin Exams and had noble visitors), and in many Hidden Villages the practice had died out entirely. Konoha was an exception, as it still boasted a substantial civilian population, including many nobles and gentry.

And yes, I _would_ be expected to ride in one to meet with Hyūga Hiashi. Either that or a carriage.

“Gods, just- fuck _everything_ ,” I complained, stretched out on the floor in front of the small table, while Akihiro made a valiant effort not to snicker. “I’ll have to wear a fucking expensive kimono too, won’t I?”

(I’d never hear the end of this at work. I already got enough flack from everyone who wasn’t Makoto about my being ‘noble’ and what not, much less about the whole nepotism thing and whatever. It wasn’t the blatant harassment I’d gone through at the Library, but it was still _fucking annoying_.)

Akihiro’s giggling got louder, and I made a rude gesture in his vague direction.

“Kaa-chan!”

I sat up as Naruto charged into the room, Naoko and Jun hot on his heels. For some odd reason, they were all covered – head to toe – in _glitter_. I raised one eyebrow, an expression that I’d come to consider an essential part of parenting.

Nao and Jun paused, blanching in unison when they saw their parents, but Naruto just _grinned_ , rocking back and forth on his heels. I bit my lip, hiding a smirk.

“Have fun?” I asked, wondering if Naruto would need to replenish the kit I’d gotten him for his birthday.

Naruto’s smile grew a bit terrifying. “Yup!”

“Need an alibi?”

My irascible son tapped his lips with a finger, a gesture I recognized with a start as my own ‘thinking pose’. Having a child was _weird_.

“Mmmmmaybe?”

“U-Um, if you see Daishiro-sensei, could you tell him that we spent the day hanging around the training grounds?” Jun blurted.

“Is Daishiro-sensei tall, stringy-haired, doesn’t particularly like the three of you?” I asked, my mouth twitching down into a scowl. I’d had a couple of very pointed arguments with that damned bigot, concerning my son and how he was treated.

Rie and Akihiro had had a bit more success in getting him to back off from their kids, but the bigotry surrounding my son started early and persisted, no matter how much I made sarcastic, cutting comments about the man’s lack of hygiene, or came into the Academy to have Pointed Words™ with the teachers and faculty. They were, after all, just a symptom of a much larger issue.

“That’s the one,” Nao said, grinning just as maniacally as Naruto was.

“You won’t get caught?” I asked, and all three kids grinned at each other.

“Naru-baka wanted to put his signature on the wall where we put the traps,” Nao said, making a picture perfect Cassandra Pentaghast Disgusted Noise™. “But we convinced him not to. It’s better stealth training, anyway.” Naruto stuck his tongue out at her, and I had never been so grateful that I had Rie and her family in our lives.

My eyebrows shot through my hairline. “Well, well, well, you seem to have it all under control.”

“Now go get showers,” Rie said, sounding every bit as amused as I was. “Scrub behind your ears, as well.”

“Yes Mama!” “‘Kay, Auntie Rie.”

Footsteps thundered past, leaving a small trail of sparkles on the floor. I bit my lip, trying not to giggle furiously as I heard them talking frantically about what I suspected was another prank. I’d thought that I’d have to nudge Naruto along to start with his pranking, but it seemed that my kid had things well in hand.

… _Heh_.

Was it weird to be fangirling over your own son? Because the thought of what Naruto would wreck in the future really awesome, and appealed greatly to my inner five year old.

“Hooligans,” Akihiro said, smirking just as widely as me.

Rie sighed, but her mirth gentled whatever frustration she may have felt. “So now that our children are plotting how to cover the entire village in sparkles,” she said, “let’s discuss what Hiashi-sama will expect of you during the visit, and plan for some kimonos. You would look best in darker colors, I would think.”

My smile fell off my face.

Akihiro’s grin – somehow - got _even wider_.

* * *

The noble clothing stores (the few that existed, as most noble women used personal tailors) were not… _suited_ , let’s put it like that, for someone of my size.

I wasn’t nearly as big as I’d been back home, but I’d long since resigned myself to the fact that I would probably be a fat person for the rest of my life, no matter how many times Gai kicked my ass across the training ground or how many meals I had to skimp on so that Naruto wouldn’t go hungry.

(Thank all the gods I hadn’t had to do that frequently…but it _had_ happened, and probably always would until Naruto and I started really making names for ourselves.)

But even though this place didn’t have custom shops on the Internet for me to use (the lovely invention that allowed fat people not to have to be humiliated by dressing room mirrors and stupid clothing!) it did have something else – the Akimichi Clan.

God bless the Akimichi Clan.

Naturally, the shops catering to the clan did have to employ seamstresses who were capable of dressing fatter bodies than the much thinner ‘norm’ that was often seen in the rest of the noble and/or shinobi clans of Konoha. It also had to employ people who were a _lot_ less judgmental that the workers in boutiques and shops at home had ever been.

So all I had to worry about was being chased away because of fact that I was Naruto’s mother.

Great.

I followed behind Rie, and my eyebrows raised when she was greeted by name by a buxom woman without the Akimichi clan markings on her cheeks, but with the wildly spiky hair that I associated with the Akimichi.

“Oho! So is this Kaname-chan, then?” The woman – who was about five inches taller than me – put her hands on her ample hips. “My, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?”

I went red, keeping my eyes above her generous cleavage. Why was everyone that complimented me or paid me good attention so goddamn hot? It wasn’t fair.

“Well, let’s get to work then, shall we? We have Chōsei-sama here, but she doesn’t mind us doing your appointment at the same time. I think she wouldn’t mind someone to talk to,” the woman commented, leading us into the back of the shop.

I noticed several girls – most of whom looked Akimichi in some way – as we passed, but none of them gave me more than a second look before they were sternly told to go back to their work. We entered a small room decorated sparsely but elegantly with luxurious accoutrements of the clothing trade.

Sitting on a long couch I might have thought would be from the Sunpan Modern Home line if we were back home, was a plump woman who looked like an Akimichi top to toe – minus the markings on her cheeks I associated with the characters I had known - waiting patiently.

She smiled when she saw us, her smile crinkling in a way that reminded me greatly of Akimichi Chōji. “And now who is this, Rie-chan? Another stray who has wandered into your clutches?”

Rie rested a hand on my shoulder. “Not at all, Chōsei-chan. This is Minori. They are a ward of the Sarutobi clan, and possess a kekkei genkai I had been studying and training them in.”

Tears stung my eyes at the unexpected usage of a gender-neutral pronoun – I loved Rie so much - but I bit the inside of my cheek until the pain drove them away, and bowed to the Akimichi woman. From what I had learned in my studies, Akimichi Chōsei had been the daughter of the former head of the Clan, and was now the sister of the current head – Akimichi Chōza. She hadn’t been part of the series, or at least not that I remembered.

While I did not need to genuflect, it was only right for me to show my respect to someone so high up in a noble clan. And besides, she was an Akimichi! If any clan besides the Uzumaki still had my fannish adoration from my previous life, it was the Akimichi.

“Now, now, darling, no need for that,” Chōsei chastised, smiling. “Come sit here while Mariya-chan gets ready, and tell me about that son of yours. My brother’s Chōji has had many stories to tell of Naruto’s pranks. Do you know he managed to cover every single teacher at the Academy in lasting paint?”

I looked at her for a long, long moment. I had for so long been used to facing overwhelming hostilities or outright disdain from members of Konoha – that weren’t the Hokage or Rie’s family – that I wasn’t entirely certain to do with this honest, non-malicious amusement.

There was something almost apologetic in her eyes when she spoke next. “Rie’s told me a great deal about him. And Chōji and Shikamaru-chan, Shikaku-kun’s son, they like him a great deal as well. Our clans have always been excellent judges of character, you know.” She did not take her eyes off me for a second, and I realized I had been correct.

She was _apologizing_ to me.

Jiao-long got a hold of me before I could say something rash like _well that took you long enough,_ and instead I took a seat next to the Akimichi and smiled politely.

“Why, Chōsei-sama, if the teachers of the Academy cannot outwit a six year old boy, then that certainly isn’t my Naruto’s fault. Or mine. Better teachers should be employed to train the future of our village,” I said mildly, and Chōsei laughed, a great burst of sound that rolled up from her belly.

“I see why Rie-chan likes you. Are you here for formal wear?”

Mentally, I girded my loins as Rie sat down in a chair to my right, and Mariya brought a wealth of cloth samples out for me to peruse.

 _I am so far out of my depth_ , I thought wryly. I had never been a fashion plate before, and that certainly hadn’t changed these days.

My normal clothing consisted of loose, casual clothes around my house and the village, my uniform for the Buntai was simple and to the point, with colors even _I_ couldn’t make look stupid, and my workout clothes certainly weren’t meant to be fashionable. And everything, of course, came secondhand.

 _Watch Chōsei,_ Jiao-long said. _Mimic her and ask her questions._ _Treat her as you would a treasured grandmother, or perhaps an auntie would be better. She is the sister to a noble Clan Head of this village, and another ally that will be advantageous to you in you and your son’s future. Do not be timid, but not aggressive, and you will find a friend._

After the excruciating experience, Rie and I left the store with a kimono that would be delivered to Rie’s house a day from now, and several that would follow afterwards. And I found myself with something else too – an invitation to join the Akimichi Clan for dinner in a week, and to meet with Akimichi Chōza and his immediate family.

(Once, Inoichi had made me that offer…but we hadn’t spoken since that night. All of my appointments in the days after had been made with members of the Yamanaka clan who did not resemble Yamanaka overly so. I appreciated it.)

I fought the urge to laugh, pushing back the memories as I followed Rie back to her home. _Are you ever wrong?_ I asked Jiao-long.

 _Not often_.

* * *

The Hyūga estate was…

Uh.

It was something else, and that was putting it mildly.

The estates were an expansive sprawl of elegantly Japanese buildings and gardens, located in about the same area the other of the noblest clan compounds were located. They were nearer to the Inuzuka and Aburame compounds than I had expected, but in hindsight, I supposed that made sense.

I didn’t know how things had gone during the Clan Wars, but in the here and now it was frequent than members of the three clans worked together and were partners, wasn’t it? Or was I just remembering things wrong yet again?

My palms felt clammy, and very discreetly I wiped them on the inside of my wide sleeves.

The kimono I wore (the dressmaker had called it _hōmongi_ , or something along those lines) was combination silk-and-cotton dress, sized perfectly to my body. The top half and left sleeve black and patterned with white flowers that crossed my body to the very hem of the kimono’s skirt, while the other sleeve was white, merging with the color that flowed over my hip. The wide belt (it was an obi, right? I wasn’t just pulling that out of my ass, was I?) was the gold-green of vines and roots, that blended with the rest of my outfit.

It was gorgeous, beautiful, and scared the absolute _shit_ out of me. What if I stepped on the hem? What if I ripped it while sitting? What if (god forbid) I got it dirty? I mean, I technically hadn’t paid for it – the bill had been sent to the Sarutobi clan, as was only _proper_ (cue my petty laughter) – but still. It was stupidly expensive, and I didn’t want to make an ass of myself.

 _Calm down_ , Amaruq said. _Worrying about things that will not happen will not make this any easier._

 _Says you_ , I shot back, as I was helped out of the carriage by the three men Akihiro had sent with me for the trip. I spared a quick look down the front of my kimono, to make sure the Sarutobi sigil was in plain sight.

There was a small group of Hyūga waiting for us as we approached up the path, one of the Oono men remaining behind to see to the care of the horses and the carriage (both of which had been rented by a local company for just this purpose).

I was flanked by the other two men as we were led into the house by a matron. They were Akihiro’s cousins, men with a little shinobi training, though they had never progressed beyond genin rank before retiring. They were polite to me, practically interchangeable in terms of appearance, and – best of all – were kind to Naruto.

These days, I often judged men and women alike on their natures by how they treated my son. I was never the best at judging someone’s character, after all, and to see if they looked at my son with genuine kindness or just even polite neutrality was a far better bet than to look at them alone. Far more accurate to boot.

The men were shown into a small room where they would wait until the meeting was done, and we continued on. The house was beautiful, almost as much as the Sarutobi compound had been (if a lot more ordered and strict), but I did not allow myself to give into the urge to gawp as I had done in the Hokage’s family home.

I was perfectly aware of the gaze of many people – even those who were not in the rooms we passed, with the Byakugan and all – on me. And I was even more aware that any weakness, any slight give in the armor of politeness and courtesy Jiao-long was helping keep firm about my shoulders, would be used as a weapon against me and my son.

 _For Naruto_ , I thought, my shoulders firm and my gaze a polite mask.

The room I was shown into by the matron was as opulent as the rest of the house, all over clean, _expensive_ lines and textures that didn’t have a hint of the homey atmosphere and wild, rioting nature the Sarutobi compound had. The theming in here was very Hyūga-esque, the sigil of the clan prominent on the expensive things present, and on the walls.

And sitting at the small table in the middle of the room was the man himself – Hyūga Hiashi.

 _Here we go_ , Amaruq said quietly.

I could feel Jiao-long slipping into the forefront of my mind, ready to guide me. _Get ready, Minori._

The patriarch of the Hyūga clan was a stoic man, his face betraying not a hint of whatever thoughts he might have been thinking as I was shown to the seat opposite him, and the tea ceremony (of a sort) began).

I was not overly familiar with the methods of the tea ceremonies back home, but they were used here – if infrequently and in a manner that was different from the little I remembered.

Formal tea ceremonies (for lack of a better terminology) were used primarily among noble clans and the Daimyō and his court. Most shinobi clans did not see the need for such things – they preferred to have the tea poured themselves, or by people they trusted – though one or two of the richer clans in Konoha still did such things, as Akihiro had told me.

The formal ceremony – which was happening now, formal bows by the servants, elaborate pouring of the tea - was considered somewhat snobbish, but, well. It was the _Hyūga_. What else did I expect?

Hiashi was served first, and that was an insult in itself as normally the guest was served first, or perhaps a reminder of whose turf I was on. I thanked all the gods that Akihiro (and Moriko, too, for all that she was a bitter old hag) had taught me the intricacies of ceremonies like this, and what they meant.

Confusing though it was, it was knowledge that I would have been lost without. I took a drink as Hiashi did, not fearing any poison. If I died in the very heart of the Hyūga compound, there would be hell to pay for this clan, especially if they cost the village my _kekkei genkai_.

Even as my thoughts whirled, the tea was set aside for the moment, and the servants left.

“Kaname-san,” Hiashi said, his voice calm and cold, just as emotionless as his face.

“Hyūga-sama,” I said, as polite and emotionless as he.

 _So it begins_ , Abhaidev said, and I could feel his hand on my shoulder, the earth steady below my knees.

“Your son is impudent,” he began, and I did not roll my eyes.

“He is charming and confident,” I corrected him gently, politely. “To most, that may translate as impudence. But I have found that, in the friends he makes, that translates to confidence of their _own_.”

One eyebrow raised.

 _You didn’t think I would be aware of why I’m really here, huh?_ I thought, amused.

“He is a strong boy, and a loyal one, too,” I commented, idly. “His friends will be as such for the remainder of their days.”

 _My son is loyal to Konoha, so long as Konoha is loyal to_ him _._

“One would think he would be better suited for less…gentle company than he seeks,” Hiashi said.

My eyes did not narrow at that insult, and the implied one towards myself.

“My son is determined in his choice of friends, and those he deems strong enough to keep up with his energy,” I said, again very mildly.

An insult right back. _Will you now claim that your daughter is_ not _strong enough to run with my son?_

Hiashi’s eyes did not narrow, either. I would have been surprised if they did.

I tilted my head to the side, smiling gently at him. I knew I was not an impressive figure, even with my perfectly tailored kimono and applied makeup and muscles. I was shorter than him, my cheeks still round, my hair short, still plain and placid and not very beautiful at all.

“One would think that you would spend your time more among the Sarutobi, than indulging in the boy’s wildness,” Hiashi commented. “In his _eccentricities_.”

Anyone and everyone in this village knew well enough that I was ostracized from the Sarutobi clan for my decision to take in Naruto. What Hiashi was really saying was a reprimand of a different sort – _why don’t you act like a noblewoman should, and keep to yourself_.

“This village has given me much,” I said. _And it will take even more_ , I did not say. “Caring for my son, when no one else will…it is but one of the ways I give back, to Konoha. Teaching my son the same principles of loyalty and respect towards the village he will one day be fighting for – why, it is the _least_ I can do, surely, as one day he will be Hokage.”

Bold words, but they were the truth. And I wanted to get it across to Hyūga Hiashi just how determined I was to see my son succeed.

“You speak exaggeration.”

“Where?” I asked him, curious. “A loyal man to Konoha, trained well and determined to succeed, undeniably powerful and willing to protect the village he and his mother call home. A loyal man with his _lineage_ , with his friends…and he cannot become Hokage?”

Very dangerous words, those, lacking the soft silver twist of politeness and armored courtesy negotiations normally had, the few times I had gone with the Buntai squads outside Konoha to minor villages. But this wasn’t totally a negotiation, was it? This was a meeting of two mind, hashing out an alliance, maybe.

This time, I saw the twitch. Just a small twitch of his eyebrow that, in a man without Hiashi’s control, would have registered as shock. It was only there for a moment and gone in the next, but I saw it.

He had heard the way I had placed emphasis on the word lineage. And he understood.

“You are his mother,” Hiashi said.

“In spirit, yes,” I said. _But not in blood or by the law_.

“My daughter told me that he outwitted a group of ANBU,” he said, still calm, but there was a strange intensity in the way his discomforting eyes watched me. “That he was faster than any of them, even so young.”

“I do not doubt it was in the pursuit of some prank,” I said, tutting. “He has such a fondness for pranks and his ramen both, you know.” I looked at him under my lashes – and yes, he _definitely_ understood.

What I knew of Uzumaki Kushina beyond the details of her life and heritage, how she had come to love her husband and eventually how she came to die, were two things well known by the village: she had loved ramen and pranks. She had been legendary for them, almost as much as she had been for being the Fourth’s wife.

It had been spread as truth that she and her child had died in Kurama’s attack, but Hiashi was not an idiot. He had been a comrade of Minato’s, and his wife had been a friend of Kushina’s.

“Rie-san’s daughter has been working on teaching him the art of subtlety, but I fear it is a thing that may take some time, with that hair of his and his love for all things orange,” I commented idly, just to make myself clear.

“My daughter could teach him something of that,” Hiashi said, and it was only Jiao-long’s grip on my mind that kept me from betraying shock.

_That was quick._

“I cannot speak for Rie-san, but I know her children and mine would be honored and delighted to host your daughter for the day,” I said, as calmly as I could. “My son speaks very highly of her.”

Now Hiashi could see the merit of a friendship (and perhaps even a potential betrothal) between Naruto and Hinata. Which wasn’t what I was aiming for – I wanted Hinata as the _head_ of the Hyūga clan, with enough fire and confidence in herself to turn away the horrifying tradition of the Seal, now that I thought about it – but if it got Hiashi on mine and my son’s side, then that worked for me.

There was a very big difference between letting his daughter (as useless as she might have seemed to him, she was still his firstborn daughter) run around with the ruffian jinchūriki hated by the village – and letting her become friends with the talented son of the previous Hokage, who was being groomed by his ‘noble foster mother’ (who was seeking allies in their own right) to take that position himself, sometime in the future.

And, if through a betrothal, Hiashi could very neatly circumvent the situation that had occurred with his own brother – the wife of the Hokage could not be _possibly_ be branded with the Cursed Seal, even if her sister became the Head of the clan. In one fell swoop he would be able to protect his daughter and make sure the Hyuga clan would be in what he thought were the best hands possible.

Which would have its own problems, in time, and wasn’t particularly what _I_ wanted for Hinata, but still.

It was progress.

The rest of the conversation passed in a much milder vein, returning to the polite words and hidden meanings that it had taken before I had turned the conversation. Then it was time to go, and I was shown from the room by Hiashi himself.

We passed a woman leading a young girl, and I recognized her instantly, though I had never seen her in the flesh before.

Hyūga Hinata was an adorable little girl, dressed in a softly pink and white kimono, even with her family’s disconcerting eyes. She kept those eyes downcast as Hiashi spoke to the woman, arranging a visit to the Oono compound in a day’s time. If the woman was surprised, she did not show it, only nodding her head and whispering acquiescence as Hinata hovered by her skirts, looking very much like she would like to clutch

She was so quiet, so submissive – I felt alarmed just looking at her.

Even as a child myself (from the memories I did have), I had never been half so quiet and submissive and almost _fearful_ , for all that I had been an obedient girl.

And finally I could not take it anymore, looking at the shy, downtrodden little girl. I knelt on the floor, and gently tapped her chin with my finger, so she would look up at me.

Fuck politics and armored courtesy, I thought then.

Let the Hyūga think what they would of me. This little girl needed an adult someone to reassure her that her kindness did not make her weak, that she was liked for being who she was.

Gods all knew she more than likely received very little of that in this place.

“You must be Hinata-chan,” I said, my voice warm. “Naruto has spoken to me at length about you.”

Her eyes widened. “Y-You’re Naruto-kun’s mother?”

“That I am. And I must say, I am surprised that such a young girl could manage to knock a boy halfway across the training yard,” I commented in a teasing fashion, and Hinata flushed red.

“N-Naruto-kun was just making things up,” she protested.

“Oh? So you _aren’t_ the Hyūga girl who managed to knock Uchiha Sasuke’s legs out from under him and send him staggering, then?” I said archly, one eyebrow raised.

Naruto had gone on – at length – about how _awesome_ that moment had been for days after.

“Is this true?” This from Hiashi, and Hinata faltered under her father’s stare.

Then she looked at me, took a breath, and nodded. “Yes, Father.”

He looked at her for a long moment, with a hint of that same intensity in his eyes that had been there during the conversation between him and I, before he moved along.

“ _Confidence_ , you say,” Hyūga Hiashi said. “She has never shown it here.”

Perhaps what I said next wasn’t the kindest, or even the wisest thing to say, but I was feeling cruel and a bit snarly and exhausted from the strenuous ordeal.

“I have learned in my own studies, that to be comfortable in your surroundings, and with those who teach you, does much to improve one’s confidence and in turn, how much one wishes to learn,” I said.

We did not speak another word, but the silence was-not comfortable, but not tense. It was just _silence_.

I kept the straight shoulders and polite expression of mild interest back on my face until I was in the Oono compound.

But once I was divested of my kimono and ensconced in a dark, cool guestroom, I dragged my son (who protested only mildly) into my arms and buried my face in his bright gold hair as I sat on the bed.

 _The things I do for this boy_ , I thought wearily, only to blink when Naruto’s arms came up around my neck in a tight hug.

“You’ve been away a lot, Kaa-chan,” he said, snuggling into my arms.

I thought of the days with the Buntai, the days I spent training, the days I spent worrying and fretting about my future and his, the days I spent getting ready for this meeting.

“I have, haven’t I?” I commented idly, leaning back against the headboard of the bed with my son still in my arms. For a moment I thought of what was to come, before I shooed the thought away.

“You have,” he said firmly. “I missed you.”

My smile was foolish and soft. “Well, _that_ won’t do. Why don’t we go get some ramen after I get off work tomorrow?”

He cheered, and I winced at the noise as it cut through my headache.

 _The things I do for this boy_ , I thought once more, after he had fallen asleep. _And yet I would do them again and again and again._

I sighed, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

 _You did good_ , Dorje said, grinning in my mind’s eye.

 _They are correct,_ Jiao-long said. _Now, get some sleep. You have earned it._

I fell asleep with the laughter of my companions in my ears, smiling to hear it.

And I dreamed of running through an immense temple, hand-in-hand with a monk in yellow robes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering where I've been: life has been exceedingly difficult for me recently, and my attention/time/energy has been dragged in many different directions (and not just by other interests). Also, this story is a hard one to write, because the dates and timelines and keeping track of everything and when everything needs to happen…yeesh, man.
> 
> So, yeah. Sorry about the wait.
> 
> (And holy _shit_ the meeting between Hiashi and Minori was difficult as all hell to write. Fucking politics, man. They break my brain. But I do hope I’m getting a little more adept at them…Maybe? I dunno.)


	13. ACT ONE - Intention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _[…a thing intended; an aim or plan…]_

* * *

“Orino-san asked me out,” I told Akihiro during our tea, while Rie worked on the finishing touches of the papers she would be handing over to the Hokage later that week. She wouldn’t be able to stall any further than that.

At the thought of just what was in those papers, my hands shook. I took a drink of tea to steady my nerves.

“Orino-san?” Akihiro asked, curious. “Does she work at the Buntai?”

“No, I used to work with her at the Library,” I said.

Akihiro set down his cup, and turned his attention fully to me.

“What did you say to her, then?” There was something strange about the way he said that, as though each word was chosen carefully, full of weight.

“I said I needed to think about it? Akihiro…did I do something wrong?” I asked, feeling moderately alarmed.

He sighed. “No, you did exactly as you should have. If this Orino asks you again, or if you meet with her again, you must tell her no.”

I reared back. “ _What?_ Why? Akihiro, I like her well enough, and it’s just for coffee-”

“You seem to be forgetting the conditions of your remaining in this village and under protection, Minori.”

I bristled. “Not once have I ever refused to marry a suitable man as per the agreement. I even allowed the tests to check my fucking _uterus_ , Akihiro, and god knows I fucking hated that.”

 “No, no, I know, and I apologize. I myself tend to forget that you were raised in a village very far away from Konoha, and as such are not familiar with the unspoken rules that govern a noble maiden’s life, even in a shinobi village.” He held up his hands in a placating manner, to forestall my indignation. “And I know well enough that you are not a woman, but that is how the _village_ sees you, and what you _must_ keep in mind when seeking romantic partners.”

“Are you telling me that I can’t have sex without politics entering it?” I asked incredulously.

Because, seriously. _What?_

It wasn’t like I expected to have or planned to parade about a long string of casual lovers or one-night stands (that wasn’t my style, anyway), but I would have liked to have the _option_ of exploring a romantic and sexual relationship.

I looked halfway to decent these days, and not as much like the unhygienic, overweight hobo I’d been before I’d arrived so unceremoniously in Konoha (I was a bit more of a smooth, slightly muscular hobo these days). I would have liked to _try_ and take advantage of that, and maybe even enjoy a bit easier time of navigating the dating scene than I’d ever had back home.

(Because god knows I’d had a helluva time trying to do that before.)

_Politics will rule your life for many years to come_ , Jiao-long said, not unkindly. _It is not something you will ever be able to remove yourself from, not completely._

“You can do as you please, but I would advise against doing so rashly or without very, _very_ careful thought,” Akihiro said. “You must understand the attitudes you are setting yourself up against if you ever wish to ascend in this village, and _especially_ if you want your son to go even higher.”

“I would have assumed that having a relationship with someone who I’m fairly certain is not capable of impregnating me wouldn’t step on any toes,” I said, suddenly feeling very wary. (At least I assumed Orino didn’t have the equipment necessary to do so. I could be wrong.) “And Orino’s a civilian, but she comes from an offshoot of one of the first civilian families Senju Hashirama invited to the village…Surely it’s not because she’s female?”

“If one is not an heir to a clan, they’re generally allowed to do as they please if they are not loud about it,” Akihiro said. “There is very little backlash among homosexual relations in a shinobi village, and among shinobi. This is different in all civilian villages, and certainly in the Daimyō’s court, but shinobi generally just don’t care, and that is an attitude that is rather widespread in Konoha. And if one is heir to an old and noble clan seat…as long as they make the necessary provisions for an heir and they remain discreet, they’re also left well alone. The attitude towards sex is generally somewhat lax.”

“So why…?”

“You occupy a very different place, and as such, must abide by and move around a very different set of rules. There is your ambition, the, ah, purity of your virginity and who you give it to, your son-”

“What the hell does Naruto have to do with this?” I spluttered. “And my _virginity_? Akihiro, I don’t-”

“ _Your son_ ,” he said pointedly, cutting off my denial. “Is not your son _legally_. At most, in the laws of Konoha, you are his caretaker, a job you could lose if you make the wrong person mad or convince them that making the Hokage’s life in order to force his hand in that direction is something they’d like to do.”

I sucked in a breath.

“And that is only one thing out of _many_ to be careful of. While you are correct in your assumption that having a casual relationship with someone not capable of getting you with child could be…overlooked, it will also be noted who you choose to take to your bed, and where they come from. Such things always are, among the noble clans.”

“So the idea of my, uh… _virginity_ and who I choose to…bestow it upon? That would be important to the fucking village?” I asked, my eyebrows raising. “Important _politically_?”

“Oh, yes. You are not taken seriously as of yet, Minori. If you pursue a casual relationship now, before your position is secured, it will come across in…ways to many people. Mostly in ways you will not like.”

“Explain,” I said, closing my eyes. Christ, there was so much shit I didn’t know.

“People will look at who you choose to share your bed with. They will look at the clan, at the alliances they would assume you to be making. If they cannot find a satisfactory reason for that, they will assume that you are flighty, and that you seek only comfort. And they will look down at you for that. They will assume that you are just a flighty, hormonal-stricken girl, no matter what you have done in service to this village so far. They will assume that you must be kept heavily supervised, to protect your…ah, _real_ virginity and your _kekkei genkai_ from being passed along to an unsuitable family or being sullied,” Akihiro said, much in the way one would read a grocery list. “And they will make sure that happens.”

“So, if I choose to have sex outside of marriage, it’s possible I’ll lose whatever shreds of respect I’ve gained, and, what? I’ll be locked away?” I asked, amused at the latter idea. “And if I ‘wait until marriage’, I’ll be considered pure and taken more seriously?”

The smile died when I saw Akihiro’s face.

“Y…You’re not kidding.”

“There are laws concerning _kekkei genkai_ in this village. Laws concerning the protection and keeping of them. Laws that few, if any, can circumvent, laws that even trump the more progressive mores that our society has come to know. It comes from the Clan Wars, this mindset. Bloodlines, and especially strong ones, were protected and hoarded as though they were worth more than gold, and this goes ten times moreso for bloodlines from outside the clan that are to be brought into the clan.”

Akihiro sighed, took a drink, and continued.

“Things were done to protect bloodlines and to keep them pure that now would be considered barbaric. And sometimes they still are. My Rie was able to circumvent a lot of it because she was a kunoichi and useful on missions, but even that did not take her far. Once it was known that she could have children, she was prevented from leaving the village. It was only Himawari-sama’s interference that kept Rie from being married off as soon as that happened,” Akihiro said, and his voice was very quiet. “Things that this village has outlawed have happened and happened recently, to ensure bloodline purity and bloodline safety, especially of those who are not of this village. Do not underestimate what those who are higher-ranking will do to make sure of that.”

“And I don’t have that sort of protection, either from a sympathetic woman married to my clan head, or by being a shinobi,” I said flatly. “If I, uh, _sully my bloodline purity_ or whatever, not only will that be a mark against me and may result in punishment, but it would also be a mark against Naruto and what I want for him. Am I hearing you right?”

Akihiro nodded.

Gods, what a fucking _mess_ this was. I knew that the protection of bloodlines had to be strict, if flawed (case in point, the Hyūga clan), but this was a clusterfuck if there ever was one. I could barely get my head around the archaic ideals, greed for power, and the rest of this nonsense.

“And while a relationship with a woman would not be as bad, and might not result in as much scandal, you must not seek a relationship with a man or one capable of impregnating you. Again, the idea of sullying a bloodline – regardless of how ridiculous it is – is something that must be prevented at all costs among clans, and they will be among your closest allies in the years to come. You must not be impulsive, and you must always, _always_ keep in mind what others will think of your actions. Including intimate ones.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said wryly.

I had never really planned to have sexual relations with a man (beyond, unfortunately, the husband I’d have to find eventually), as I wasn’t able to use chakra contraceptives that kunoichi had available to them – which were a design of Tsunade’s, and a very big reason why she was so revered among Konoha still – because of my wonky chakra systems.

(Which sucked, because they also fucking stopped _periods_. I would have given up my firebending in a _heartbeat_ to get the ability to stop the visitor from hell arriving in my uterus every month.)

But except in most cases, I really _did_ prefer women to men (and found they preferred me more than men did), so I’d never really put much thought towards having a man in my bed beyond the occasional thought.

…Well, except for-

“Your friendship with Maito Gai is well known,” Akihiro said knowingly, and I choked on the sip of tea I’d taken. I coughed desperately, feeling my cheeks burning.

“It-It’s not like that!” I protested. “Akihiro, _really_ -”

“I’m just saying,” Akihiro said, smiling in a way that reminded me alarmingly of Morticia Addams.

Just because I really liked Gai’s muscles and how easily he could carry me everywhere (and how willingly he did it, too) didn’t mean anything! And just because he had an ass that didn’t quit-

-I was getting off track. I coughed pointedly, and Akihiro smirked.

“So, no relationships for me in the near future?” I said after a moment, once the burning in my cheeks had gone down some.

“It’s your choice, Minori. Just be very careful, no matter what you choose. When you are well established in your ambitions, you may have more freedom in this. But for now…” Akihiro’s face was apologetic.

I sighed and slid back so I was slumped against the floor. I ran my hands over my face.

So, anything casual wasn’t an option. And trying for something a little less casual would have far too many strings attached to be worth the hassle.

It seemed like I’d be going the abstinence route for a few more years.

Not something I was unfamiliar with, considering the first time I’d ever gotten a kiss had been when I was twenty.

_With Hannah_ , a voice in my head whispered, very faintly. And a face popped up to match the name.

Brown hair, tanned skin, red-brown eyes. A smile. A voice in my ears. Very tall, towering over me. Arms around my legs, picking me up so easily, pressing me against the wall while I spluttered.

_Hannah_ , I thought.

I remembered her. I remembered her.

My friend. My first friend, my longest friend, my most beloved.

_…There was an arm around my shoulders, and I was very warm. I looked up and up and up to see Hannah grinning down at me. You’re too tall, I complained. You’re just too short, said she, in that slow, rolling voice of hers…_

“Minori? Are you all right?”

I blinked back tears, and bit back the foolish smile. I felt a little better now, and a little more in control.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m okay.”

_Hannah, Hannah, Hannah._

A good name. I liked it. I _remembered_ it.

* * *

The biggest problem with this whirring sense of sand slipping through my fingers each day was that I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what I wanted.

And, more importantly, I certainly didn’t know what I _needed_ in order to make sure I not only got through the next however many years, but did so in a position of reasonable comfort and stability.

So, then…What did I want?

I sat in my room, watching the ceiling as the night passed on outside my window. If I concentrated, I could hear Naruto’s soft breathing in the room next to mine.

It was time and _past_ that I really put my mind towards what I truly wanted to get out of Konoha, and what I wanted for Naruto. What were my goals? What did I want to accomplish? I groaned, and rubbed a hand over my eyes. I was always shit at planning.

Well, perhaps long-term, then. What did I _ultimately_ want?

That was easy: I wanted to see Naruto and his friends survive. I wanted him to be happy, with a family of his own, in whatever job he sought to fulfill himself. And _I_ wanted to survive the war that would be coming in the best position I could attain.

Now how would I go about doing that?

_Short steps make the long journey_ , Abhaidev said, his voice a comforting whisper.

I needed more friends. _Naruto_ needed more friends. He needed people to see him as the kind, determined, and ultimately loyal young boy he actually was.

People still feared him (and me, though they _hated_ me more than they feared me). And while I knew that Naruto had won the hearts of the village after defeating Nagato, I wanted that change of heart to happen _before_ the village got flattened.

I knew that Naruto still hung out with Chōji and Shikamaru, and Kiba sometimes too, and that these days Hinata rarely left his side – which did a great deal – but it wasn’t enough. He needed more people, more allies, and more people who would support him when the time came.

Perhaps I could nudge Naruto towards Aburame Shino? My distaste of bugs knew no limit, and the clan itself had always given me the creeps, but there was no doubt in my mind that having the clan would be a powerful asset, Shino especially.

And with the addition of the Aburame, I would have the two strongest noble clan alliances still standing from the Clan Wars at my back, and at my son’s. The bonds between Aburame-Hyūga-Inuzuka and the ones between Yamanaka-Akimichi-Nara had lasted close to two centuries. Maybe more, in terms of the latter.

I would have to make overtures to both the Yamanaka and the Nara – the former, to repair the relationship that had been damaged by my fear, and the latter, to build on the friendship that my son had started. I could use Inoichi to bridge the gap to the Nara, I thought.

Though the thought of having to match wits with a fucking Nara gave me almost as many heebie-jeebies as the thought of having to interact with the Aburame clan did. Not for nothing did I have an enormous helping of respect for the clan, even as a massive weaboo.

_You also have_ us _to help level the board_ , Dorje said cheerfully. _Don’t worry!_

So, with some time and effort, I could have some of the greatest clans in the village at my back – if not by somewhat honest friendship with myself and/or my son, then at least by the prospect of alliance.

More clans would come then, or I could branch out from there. And I’d have something to set against Shimura and his warmongering, or whoever else tried to move against us in the political arena, beyond just the Hokage’s regard.

I turned my thoughts to power, next.

Short-term was easier to think of, here, because I honestly didn’t know how Naruto might progress, as a shinobi. I wasn’t a shinobi, and I would never be one.

But my son would, and so I had to think on that as best I could.

Most importantly, Naruto needed teachers beyond Rie and Chōrui, and he needed ones who were more competent than his useless Academy teachers – who were already starting to show signs of their bigotry in Naruto’s failing grades (despite his right answers).

Though that, in itself, wasn’t as much of a problem to me. I didn’t want to change things that much. Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura – they’d make a good team, and I could change things, how they were taught, once they were a team.

But Naruto needed teachers. Good ones.

He was a boisterous boy (almost to annoying extremes), with energy reserves that let him run circles around his friends, and that was something I needed to address. His friendship with Rie’s children, and his few friends at school did help curb some of that restless energy, but not nearly enough. I took it a step further with the exercises I did, to train his mind in a way that would also keep his body active – the only way my rambunctious boy truly learned – but that, too, was not enough.

I’d had to curb my tongue more than once ( _I will not scream at my son I will not scream at my son_ ) when he’d been on a tear the other day. It’d taken _hours_ for the glitter to wash out, and had brought back more than one memory of school and the bullies I’d endured there.

(I…I did not do well with teasing or pranks, unless the former was leveled at someone else.)

He needed some modicum of restraint, and something to turn his massive, endless reserves of power towards. And someone who could help him do so.

I was not a teacher, even if I’d been a shinobi, and I had no interest in teaching beyond small things.

So, for him I needed a teacher who was a stellar shinobi, a front-line fighter and someone who could use stealth as well (both of which Naruto would need, even if he did not become Hokage). Someone who knew how to channel massive amounts of power – even if not jinchūriki-levels of it – and how to hone it like a blade. Someone who was strong and smart, and would not mind teaching my son, Konoha’s jinchūriki.

Someone who would teach him loyalty not only to his village, but loyalty to his comrades, and loyalty to his own ideals, how to balance being a good person with being a shinobi, something that would forever be beyond me. Someone who could and _would_ care for him, and would be loyal to him as my son would likely be to them.

I laughed, and rubbed a hand over my face. There was only one man, wasn’t there?

Not Kakashi, certainly. He was an excellent shinobi, of course, and one day he would become a much better and more mentally stable man than he was now…but he was still too raw from all the wounds he’d incurred over his life, and I disliked him more days than I didn’t. And even _I_ would have a better time teaching Naruto how to be a good person while being a shinobi than he would.

But _Gai_. Gai, the most powerful taijutsu user across the Elemental Countries. Gai, who was strong and passionate all at once. Gai, who wanted more than anything to teach. Gai, who had such kindness and knowledge and _determination_ hiding under his eccentric appearance.

Yes, Gai would do well for my son. I would have to speak with him as soon as I could. Perhaps he would see this as training for his own jōnin team, I thought.

From there, Naruto could find other teachers to further his capabilities – in whatever methods would best suit him. I wasn’t a shinobi, so I couldn’t say for certain what those would be, but Gai would help.

And as for me…

In the political arena, I _definitely_ needed to make more friendships, and put much more thought towards learning the ins and outs of political negotiation and whatnot. My job at the Buntai did allow me to further my education in that regard, and I would be working at furthering friendships and alliances with noble clans.

Perhaps I would take up Orino on her request. Not as a date, but as friends.

While I needed friendships primarily among the shinobi sector, civilians (and their families) did make up a sizable chunk of Konoha’s population. So getting them to think favorably of me (and my son, by proxy) would be important. The Hokage – and many others – seemed to dismiss civilians, and for the most part I got that. But civilians provided money and a sense of _stability_ to shinobi that Rie had told me was very rare in other Hidden Villages. They did jobs shinobi couldn’t do.

They were the farmers, the artisans, the workers of the small jobs that you couldn’t take active shinobi away from to do, or that retired shinobi wouldn’t do. Civilians weren’t the backbone of the village, but they did make up several ribs. Not vital, but important.

And it would be important to get them on my side.

Maybe I could have Naruto sniff out the civilian parents of shinobi children? Perhaps the descendants of refugees who’d settled in Konoha – there was a bit of a thriving Uzushio Quarter, I knew, though I didn’t know if I could hold in my bitterness at none of them even attempting to take in Uzumaki fucking Naruto – or maybe some small time merchants?

I groaned, and rubbed my face. If I looked too hard at the overall picture, I’d start crying with frustration at the mountains I had yet to even attempt to think about climbing.

Then, in terms of _power_. Political acumen would be important – but physical power would be just as vital to my chances of survival.

Just having a friendship with Naruto would have put my life in danger, but here I was his parent in all but blood and law. Nothing else could have put quite so large a target on my back if I tried.

I did not doubt that if I wanted to survive the war yet to come – whether it came in a similar form as it had in canon or not – I _needed_ to be strong. Even if I would never be a shinobi, nor hold rank, I had to be on a level that would allow me to face strong, devious, incredibly immoral enemies. Or if not to face them and win, at least to be able to survive against them enough to escape.

I resigned myself to filling what free time I’d have for the next years with getting my ass kicked into next week by Gai – and maybe Kakashi, if he could be persuaded to _not_ be a raging asshole.

_You also need to make a visit to the Fire Temple,_ Amaruq said, quietly. _Your natural chakra – and your gift with fire – can only be improved on and understood more thoroughly if the priests can help you. If they will help you._

_They would not dare to do otherwise,_ Jiao-long replied, confident. _And you will be able to learn more techniques of firebending and all that comes with it, techniques that even I may not know, under their tutelage…if the knowledge has survived._

I blinked, and then sat bolt upright.

The _implications_ of that statement…I had just assumed that I had been given my firebending as some sort of whim by the gods or spirits or whoever, not that they actually had a basis in this new world.

But Jiao-long…was she implying that firebending had once been a thing? That benders had once existed here beyond the anomaly that was myself?

A thought occurred to me, and I looked at my folded legs, my hands trembling loosely.

Had this world – before chakra, before the Sage, before _Kaguya_ – had it once been the world of that cartoon I’d loved so much? Had Zuko and Katara and Sokka and Toph and Aang-had they all been real?

Was _Avatar the Last Airbender_ a thing that had actually happened?

“Jesus,” I said. “Jesus fucking _Christ_.”

My companions were silent as the grave inside my head.

* * *

**A long ways away…**

The man watched the stars, tears in his eyes.

His companion moved away from the fire, and laid a hand on the much taller man’s arm.

“Food’s ready,” he said. “You need to stay for a while more?”

The man laughed, and shook his head. He wiped his eyes, and turned to face the other.

“No, dear one. I’ll eat, if you and our little guest have already taken your fill.”

His companion rolled his eyes. “Why you keep calling me that I’ll never know. And yes, Uta has. He’s talking with Saiken now.” He gestured at the third member of their group, a young man resting against the tree, eyes closed, legs folded into a meditative posture.

The man chuckled. “It’s good to see him doing well. He was almost as stubborn as you, dear Rōshi.”

“I hate you more than words, Han. Not all of us had something as easy at your pet monster to deal with.”

“Now, now, don’t call Son Goku a monster… _dear_ _one_.”

Rōshi rolled his eyes, and stalked back towards the fire, grumbling under his breath.

The man called Han turned his red gaze back to the stars, and grinned.

“Is it beginning? Or has it already begun?” he wondered idly.

Then he turned back to the fire, and went to join his companions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Politics are skeevy no matter where you go, and seem to care far too much about policing the actions and the very bodies of people who have a uterus.
> 
> ... _Anyway_ , I hope that wasn't too clunky, and I apologize for the rampant lack of anything action-y going on. I mean, I write politics and that stuff better than I write action (which doesn't say much), so maybe you all don't mind?
> 
> Eh, once I finagle the timelines (honestly, the fucking timelines and keeping events and people's ages on it any matter of straight is what kills me with this story), I should be able to get things moving a bit more. Thanks for sticking with me this far! :D


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